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Original poster

Can you just ignore a will?

106 replies

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 15:44

Help me understand this situation.

Adam, his brother and their cousin. Will call them Adam , Ben and Craig for the use of this situation.

Adam, Ben and Craig both live near their dad/uncle, like two/three streets away. Ben has always had an on/off relationship with his parents. Mostly off. Declaring them all dead to him fairly regularly over the years. Ben hates Craig, no real reason, I think he dislikes the fact Craig is so involved and included like another son.. Craig’s parents died many years ago.

A few years ago Ben had a bust up with everyone over Craig being there. He hit his mother causing her a split lip and brushing (she was very elderly) and a few days later when Adam tried to speak with him he pushed him and he fell and injured his head and shoulder against the wall. Ben said everyone was dead to him and walked out. Within days their mum had died, Ben was reached out to invited to the funeral but refused to attend or correspond with anyone. When Adam reached out he sent him a message, Ben replied he wanted no contact from the family and that was that. Ben has never been close with his father and made no attempt to contact him for several years.

Ben was in ill health before this happened and Adam and Craig were having to go in several times to a day to help him with self care, shopping, washing etc. After the death of their mother the situation meant that the care was significantly increased, Adam had to take early retirement and Craig reduced his hours to be able to help. Both were called all day and night and back. Adam in particular struggled a lot with the amount of burden and is having counselling. It was very difficult

At some point a few years back their dad rewrote his will with a solicitor. He was of sound mind right in until the end but his health was very poor. He decided to include Craig into the will and gave him and Ben both 25% and the remaining 50% to Adam. He wanted to write Ben out completely but Adam said he shouldn’t do that.

Their dad died. Ben was informed but again didn’t attend the funeral or make any attempt to contact. It has been years since he saw his dad.

Now Ben is contesting the will and asking Adam to take Craig out and just split it 50/50 between them. He has made several other additional requests for specific high value items. I’m surprised this is even the option. He says he has sought legal advice but I can’t understand how the can decide to ignore/bypass the will?

Added: There isn’t much to inherit, no money and house is worth probably 100,000.

OP posts:

Original poster

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 17:52

@JamieLeeCurtains

Personally I'd have reported that to the Police. The mum died, fgs. Now this thug is intimidating people for money.

In my haste in writing this and wanting to get the details in I didn't think what I was writing. It was days, but not like 5 days later. Probably 2/3 weeks later I guess. Sorry, It's a little bias I wrote it that way. When I think back it was all very close together. It was probably days after Ben pushed Adam but quite a few days between hitting his mother and her death. Not that it makes a difference in that he still hurt an elderly women.

OP posts:

wildraisins · 20/01/2021 18:02

No he can't just change the will or request different things to what it states. That's the whole point in a will - it has to be carried out to the letter, otherwise why would anyone bother making one? That is obviously the wishes of their dad so it needs to be done (in fact the dad wanted to write Ben out altogether, so Ben should be glad he's getting anything frankly!)

sammyjoanne · 20/01/2021 18:16

Ben can protest all he likes. As long as Dad was in sound mind when he made the will then theres not a lot he can do.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dementia & alzheimer's

Doobigetta · 20/01/2021 18:20

In English law, if someone dies within a year and a day* of being assaulted, and they would not have died were it not for the assault, that is either manslaughter or murder. So it would depend what was on the death certificate.

*actually I don’t think even that timescale applies any more, since the Tony Bland case. He was injured at Hillsborough and died several years later, having never regained consciousness. The law was changed so that it could be recorded that he was killed in the Hillsborough disaster.

ramblingsonthego · 20/01/2021 18:23

Well Ben sounds an absolute delight doesn't he? And why did the others carry on giving care to Ben after he treated them all so badly? More fool them.

As for the will I would let Ben carry on with his bluff and bluster and carry on as much as you can.

BeaSmithers · 20/01/2021 18:28

I think we've established Ben is telling porkie pies. Leave them to it and let their solicitors deal with it

Original poster

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 18:32

Thanks all. That's a relief.

Hindsight is a massive thing.

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 20/01/2021 18:44

No, of course not. Adam would have to decide that it was fairer for it to be changed. Adam needs to just stick with what the will says and what his solicitor says.

Feedingthebirds1 · 20/01/2021 18:50

Adam is completely in the right to keep to the distribution of the estate as set out in the will. Ben gets 25% and no more.

His daughter who's done a bit of law is talking out of her backside if that's really what she's said, and I'm not convinced any solicitor would tell Ben he had a claim unless said solicitor was a real shyster so I suspect he doesn't actually have one.

Tell Adam to take a deep breath and sit back. It sounds like possibly his solicitor has got the measure of Ben and is being extra thorough to make sure he'd be shot down in flames if he tried anything.

And Adam and Craig should stop caring for Ben, whatever his health issues. He doesn't care for them at any level. Leave him to it.

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 20/01/2021 18:55

Legally you can only change a will with the agreement of all beneficiaries. Ben cannot demand, well he can, but the executor cannot meet his demands, if Ben is serious then he needs to contest the will in court.

Craig has the choice to forego his share but I don’t see why he should.

Whilst probate is delayed the estate continues to pay the costs, so it will be costing Adam, Ben and Craig in proportion to their share of inheritance.

Ben sounds like a misguided and not very nice man. I see no reason why his demand should be seriously considered. Is there someone close (but not directly involved) who could remind him how unreasonable his behaviour was and his demands are?

Mumdiva99 · 20/01/2021 19:07

We had a scenario where a relative changed her will. She had dementia. Her solicitor get the doctor in who stated she knew what she was doing. She didn't. She made choices that she would never have made in sound mind. She had always said her brother in laws family should have his share of the house on her death and that was completely ignored in her latest will. The other changes she made which impacted our family....who knows. (Her carer and their family got the lot....)

We were advised it is almost impossible to do anything. Especially as your dad made the will with a solicitor.

Please don't worry. And don't let this impact your grieving for your father/father in law.

Bythemillpond · 20/01/2021 19:09

I think Adam needs to stick to what is in the will. Ben can write and say what ever he wants but don’t let Ben confuse him with letters claiming to have legal powers in.

If Ben wants to go ahead and try and alter the will then it will have to come from a court hearing and he should be told to bring it on.
Either get on with going to court or piss off.

If the will is successfully contested then the will becomes null and void and the most Ben will get is 1/3. So if the only money is in the house and the house is only worth £100,000 he would have been normally in for £25000 less any fees or if he takes it to court even if he wins then he could end up £33,000 less fees and the court case and end up with the same amount or less depending on how much the case costs
If he wins then all he is doing is upping Craig’s inheritance and reducing Adam’s. Either way Craig can’t get disinherited

Lamentations · 20/01/2021 19:50

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

So why did nobody report him to the police for assaulting somebody who died just a few days afterwards?

They could have committed murder, but nobody's lifted a finger.

Exactly what I was about to say. Old person dies a short time after being assaulted and????

YesMeLady · 20/01/2021 20:24

The assault can still be reported

Glenorma · 20/01/2021 20:33

The will can only be changed if all beneficiaries agree. Obviously Craig won’t agree to being written out. Adam does not have the power to just write Craig out of the will - it would have to go to court, and unless there’s a very good reason it will get turned down.

One thing you do need to be careful of is that Adam doesn’t illegally distribute the estate without giving Craig his share. Because then Craig would have to get a solicitor and go to court to reclaim what is rightfully his, and of course he would win but it’s hard to get the money back if the others have already spent it. In fact Craig should get a solicitor now because he already knows the others are threatening to defraud him.

EuroTrashed · 20/01/2021 20:35

The will made provision for Ben, who was not financially dependent on his father when his father died. He has not got a toe to stand on in succeeding with a claim, but that doesn’t stop him trying. Has he taken out a caveat, OP? My own brother did that to delay probate so he could remain in the property longer .it is absolutely not an indefinite suspension and if Ben is unable to prove to the court that there are grounds for the caveat remaining in place, it is withdrawn and BEN bears the costs of his own application AND the estate. He and his law student daughter are bullshitting Adam and the very best thing that Adam can do is act robustly with good advice right away to put B in his box. Adam’s costs will be covered by the estate as they are expenses of being an executor. It means that there is less at the end for A, B and C but it sounds like B wouldn’t be bothered- it’s pure belligerence

Sugarplumfairy65 · 20/01/2021 20:56

You may be better asking for this to be moved to Legal

burnoutbabe · 20/01/2021 21:33

Was dad supporting Ben in anyway? If he was then he could have a dependency claim.

It sounds strange that Ben was in ill health and a and c, even after b hit mum, cared for him and stepped up care after mum died (so was mum doing beforehand ?).

GooseberryJam · 20/01/2021 21:42

In Adam's shoes I would be telling Ben he will get exactly what the will says and fuck all else, no items requested, no nothing, and to channel all future communications through their solicitors because, to borrow Ben's own charming phrase, he is dead to Adam.

Giraffey1 · 20/01/2021 22:02

If Ben isn’t the executor then he cannot delay probate.

Original poster

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 22:16

I think I got in a muddle writing this. Ben isn't ill. I made the names up and think in the process got myself all messed up! Adam and Craig both cared for the father. No one has seen Ben for years after he declared them dead to him. They all pass each other's houses as they live pretty close in the same village weirdly enough, but there has been no contact. Or bumping into
Each other. Which I can't understand.

I think in my attempt to decide person A,B andC I used Ben and not Ben's dad. I also attempted to keep me out pot of it and not use grandfather. Plus I was attempting to multitask, clearly badly!

Ben is in fine health. He's not the fittest person but he's in his late 60s and fine for his age.

Sorry for the confusion everyone.

OP posts:

Original poster

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 22:17

I think in my attempt to decide person A,B andC I used Ben and not Ben's dad. I also attempted to keep me out pot of it and not use grandfather. Plus I was attempting to multitask, clearly badly!

Ben is in fine health. He's not the fittest person but he's in his late 60s and fine for his age.

Sorry for the confusion everyone.

OP posts:

Original poster

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 22:21

@GooseberryJam

Frankly that would be my response as well. Adam and his family are pretty religious and always trying to be "good Christians" which in their world means getting Walked all over. They have tried opening channels so many times but in the end the only time Ben wants to communicate is when he wants to get money and items. He has no shame at all for his actions.

OP posts:

Original poster

Willadvice2021 · 20/01/2021 22:22

@Glenorma

Good point. Think you're right. Adam wouldn't do that but I think Craig should protect his interests and not rely on Adam.

OP posts:

EuroTrashed · 21/01/2021 11:51

@Giraffey1

If Ben isn’t the executor then he cannot delay probate.

he very much can as a beneficiary, by putting in place a caveat. But that eventually has to be justified or it will be set aside

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