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Wardrobes DH ICU

999 replies

Wardrobes123 · 19/01/2021 20:30

Just thought I’d create a new thread. To help us to keep track of what’s happened.

My DH was ventilated last week. We’ve had two calls to see him due to him being very close to death. He isn’t stable but he is still alive at the moment. All we can do is wait.

I’m not going to lie, I’m not coping at all. My mum has moved in to help me cope with daily life. We’ve spoken with the children and they know how serious it is. They are also struggling now with the youngest stepping back from schooling when she needs to.

I can’t think ahead. Just usually about the hour or two that we’re living in. It’s very surreal. And incredibly difficult. Doctors are very realistic about prognosis and survival, which is really hard to hear.

I am incredibly grateful for all the support we’ve had as a family. MN is a remarkable place at times.

@groovinpeanut - Flowers my heart goes out to you and your family and I’m so sorry for the loss of your DH, message me anytime X

@intheshadowofthemushroomcloud - Flowers for all your support and messages.

I have had several messages from other mnetters who don’t have their own threads but who are also experiencing this living hell Flowers it’s a horrible journey and we don’t know how it will end but all we can do is hope/pray for a better outcome.

I haven’t always had the energy to post, too fearful of jinxing things and generally the last few days have been very raw and intense. But I’ve read every message and I’m so grateful of the support.

OP posts:
FanGurrl · 20/01/2021 11:34

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but your situation, and others, is utterly heart breaking.
I hope with all my heart that there is good news soon x

SunshineCake · 20/01/2021 11:40

I also thought of you Wardrobes and Groovinpeanut when I saw Biden and the candle lights last night. I've read another thread today where the poster let us know her dh died last year. It is just so heartbreaking Flowers.

RandomMess · 20/01/2021 11:41

Thinking of you (often) Thanks

TLKlover · 20/01/2021 12:24

Thoughts are with you and your family Wardrobes.

BooksMusicSnacks · 20/01/2021 12:32

Glad you've got your Mum there with you. Thinking of you all and hoping for a miracle x

Lovingmylife · 20/01/2021 12:34

Praying for you

VikingsandDragons · 20/01/2021 13:49

I have everything crossed for Mr Wardrobes, I can't advise on the nighttime phone calls. We had them three times for my daughter, and were told she would never be well enough to come home again as her lungs were so damaged. This was 8 years ago (and I still don't sleep well at night in case of a call!), she is in front of me now doing her maths homework, probability might say one thing for Mr Wardrobes, but miracles certainly do happen when doctors have already laid the groundwork for the worst, and I'm praying you get one of those.

Sparticle · 20/01/2021 14:01

Another person delurking to wish you, your DH and your DC well.

And @ThumbWitchesAbroad that Winston's Wish website looks like such an amazing source of information for anyone going through this.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/01/2021 14:15

It is a great resource - it's usually recommended for children when they've actually lost someone, so it's not always realised that it has resources for kids dealing with serious illness as well. I was pleased to see that they had a separate section for covid too - even for dealing with fears and anxiety around it.

jessycake · 20/01/2021 14:29

I hope that some of the mutual support you are getting from others is helping a tiny bit . Everyone on here is willing all your loved ones on to get better x

Hugoslavia · 20/01/2021 18:00

so sorry for your loss Peanuts! There was another poor lady yesterday on Mumsnet (Panda something) who also updated her post to say that she had lost her husband in November! Such a difficult time for so many.

Lostinwinter · 20/01/2021 18:26

I have been thinking of you. I really hope you get some good news.

stairway · 20/01/2021 18:28

Hope today is a better day for you wardrobes.

Loshad · 20/01/2021 21:55

More hugs @Wardrobes123
I do hope there may be some light at the end of the tunnel, keep hugging your dc x

1WayOrAnother2 · 20/01/2021 23:42

Thinking of you and Mr W. tonight - and hoping for the best. ICU miracles do happen - may one happen for you.

LeopardPrintKnickers · 21/01/2021 09:27

Wardrobes my love, we're all quietly thinking of you and your family, so keep us in your pocket and use us when you need us. Words seem so inadequate right now but sending you love and strength to get through this hideous time, xxx

cautiouscovidity · 21/01/2021 12:16

Thinking of Mr Wardrobe and all of the Wardrobe family

SunshineCake · 21/01/2021 12:30

Thinking of you all on this thread with ill family members or have lost someone Flowers.

FrostyGotFurloughed · 21/01/2021 12:58

Sending you all the love and support to you all
And to anyone else who is going through this!

TeeniefaeTroon · 21/01/2021 13:01
Thanks
Notverygrownup · 21/01/2021 13:09

Continuing to think of you @Wardrobes123 and to say a prayer for MrWardrobes and for MrMushroom/ @intheshadowofthemushroomcloud too.

dane8 · 21/01/2021 19:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MeowPurrGrr · 21/01/2021 20:06

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, I worked as a nurse in ICU until I left very recently and nursed many covid patients so I just wanted to offer you some ways to get through this time.

You will be contacted if your husband deteriorates or things change. But do phone and speak to his nurse, ideally in the afternoon but it’s always check a good time with them. Also speak to the night nurse too, it’ll give you confidence about the team looking after him and they’ll give you updates. Of course the unit pressures may make this difficult at times.

Does he have a phone with him? If so make a playlist of music, talking, jokes, prayers whatever you like and send them to the phone and the nurse will play them to him. This is a nice way to stay connected and help your children through this too. If he doesn’t have a phone, my trust allowed drop offs at the main door and we’d pop down (or send someone else) to collect items. Discuss this with the nurse looking after him.

Also sending in photos, pictures the children have drawn is lovely too, again check they allow this at the hospital he’s at, we did and it really helped the family.

Don’t put pressure on yourself to get anything done at home, carry on taking each hour/day as it comes and allow your mum to look after you all. Flowers

SaltyTootsieToes · 21/01/2021 23:49

Hope you’re ok op. Sorry this has been happening to your family

ButterMeUpScotty · 22/01/2021 08:23

I hope that things are improving for your family. Love and prayers.Flowers