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Original poster

Friend nasty about more than one home?

107 replies

Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 09:09

My family owns a few homes, including the one they live in. Some are buy to let’s and others holiday homes, sometimes rented in peak season. My close friend has stayed regularly in one of these for holidays. My parents aren’t lavish with money and don’t spend on extravagant things. They have an old car etc

I’ve recently bought my own buy to let and have my own mortgaged home. My friend knows about this as our mutual friend did the conveyancing. She’s since told me that she ‘didn’t think I was like my family’ and that she ‘thought I had better values.’ This was said in text with a winking emoji but I’m hurt by it. I don’t have loads of money and the buy to let isn’t anything lavish, I just thought it would be a good investment. My family have done this and it works for them. I’m now wondering if all this time she’s actually had an issue with this despite staying in one of the holiday homes and apparently liking my family... I don’t know what to make of it and sort of want to bring it up with her?! Would you leave it? I almost feel she’s been false with me all this time if she had such strong views. I’ve known her over two decades.

OP posts:
Plussizejumpsuit · 18/01/2021 12:55

This goes against my values. I don't really believe in making money from property and don't think you should be allowed to own more than one home. I don't know how I'd address owning your own home to live in and making money from it but some places like Vienna do very well with social housing. Orb maybe just stopping property as investment would be enough.

Anyway these are my views and I'm certainly not alone in them. Unfortunately I have family who have done this they know I don't agree with it but they are my family and I'm not going to stop loving them. It's not like they are property tycoons.

So depending on how close we were I might say something to my friend. Or in all honesty depending on the friendship and their actions I might distance myself. As it's quite a big underlying factor of social problems and I really wonder about someone's values who does thi. But political and social values are really important to me. Where as I know some people manage to be friends with someone who has very different political views.

Id say if you value the friendship you should speak to her. Then at leat you will both know where you stand.

isitsafetocomeoutyet · 18/01/2021 13:01

Just gonna sidestep the raging debate about buy to let's...

The problem isn't that or whether the ops parents have a fancy arse car or what the hell the op chooses to spend her money on.

The problem is the friend's apparently snarky comment and her attitude towards the op and her family.

If you've been friends for 20 years it seems a shame you can't talk openly about it. I would text back what do you mean to get to the nub of it.

But frankly it appears she has a problem with it, your family and now apparently you.

Does she normally send snide bitchy comments with a winky emoji after it? (Hate that. Oh you can't be offended, I'm only joking)

How is the rest of the friendship?

Carriemac · 18/01/2021 13:09

I'd say sorry you feel
Like that - presume you don't want to stay in holiday home again if it's against your values?

icedgem85 · 18/01/2021 13:21

Meh... she's got a point. No respect for landlords at all. It's disgusting to use housing as investment. It should be illegal, it causes poverty and makes children homeless and that's not even being hyperbolic. It's legal though, so I don't hate anyone who does it, just see them as machiavellian and wouldn't trust them very much.

picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2021 13:46

Well there's a few people on this thread that should be ashamed of themselves, and it's not the landlords.

My experience has been that the 'have a go' landlords are far more concerned about the state of their property than the 'professionals' with quite a few. The ones with several houses have been awful for doing the bare minimum and trying to make it pay as much as possible.

I would say, don't do it where you keep buying more as you scrape together a deposit, and use the rent to pay the mortgages. The asset should be the value of the building, not the rent. You have to be able to afford to invest in the building, and not skimping the maintenance to maximise the rent. That's wrong.

GypsyLee · 18/01/2021 13:54

I'd tell her your values are better than hers.
Insinuating that your family don't have good values, when she has taken advantage of a holiday home.
Don't let her stay again and cut contact with the using bitch.

Original poster
Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 14:02

@beantrader

You friend is an arsehole for enjoying your properties and then making comments about your family.

But spare me the "I've worked hard" nonsense. Loads of us work very hard and don't own property! It's not your fault that BTL exists, but your family don't get extra points for being nice to their tenants - that's the way it should be tbh

@beantrader I’m pretty sure it’s not accurate that my family ‘should’ pay someone’s council tax or write of rent. What a strange comment.
OP posts:
beantrader · 18/01/2021 14:17

Yes it was really nice of them to write off the rent (was this during covid?), and to pay the council tax, but you post also mentioned fixing things on time at cost to them - that is what I meant with regards to what they should be doing. Normal, on time maintenance of a property is pretty basic.

PurpleMustang · 18/01/2021 16:26

No you shouldn't ignore the comment. I would ask her what she means and make her explain herself and say what she thinks. And yes, then you can say well you was happy to have the benefits off it and now you want to bitch about them. She has thought about that comment before she sent it and the whole 'jokey banter' and the emoji is hiding her true feelings

murbblurb · 18/01/2021 16:29

playground jealousy with adult bitchiness. Your family have more money than hers. This isn't a crime but she is too insecure to realise it.

lot of it on here too. Ignore, or tell her the truth - she is insecure and jealous and as you are no longer at school, you don't have to put up with this.

BTW as soon as someone on MN has money the first suggestion is BTL, which amuses my cynical side. I bet a lot on here sleep with bankers too, and they earn money from mortgage interest.

Rhinosaurus · 18/01/2021 16:37

Buy to let and renting a property to people who need somewhere to live is completely different to a second/holiday home which stands empty throughout the winter, doesn’t pay local taxes, pushes up local property prices - usually where income is low and seasonal and kills communities. So no, you’re not as bad as your parents.

ilovebagpuss · 18/01/2021 17:21

It’s just a passive aggressive way of saying she is jealous. I’m sure if most of us had the funds we would think about another property I know I would.
That’s just me being honest they are a great investment.
My parents bought a little cottage and rented it (when property was more affordable) and it really supported them in their retirement and old age. Your friend is also insinuating she wasn’t aware you had the money for this it’s obviously stung her and maybe she is fishing to see if you have been gifted it by your family.
I would be disappointed but I wouldn’t engage with the comment. Probably just reply as you have explained on here.

ScribblingPixie · 18/01/2021 17:29

You may not want to challenge your jealous friend, OP (though I agree replying with a question mark would be a good idea), but I hope you won't offer her a holiday again.

Scarcity20 · 18/01/2021 17:36

She's jealous. Plain and simple.

LizFlowers · 18/01/2021 17:45

Your friend was really unpleasant saying she thought you would have 'better values', implying that your family have poor values. Perhaps she didn't mean it in the way it came out but, honestly, it is none of her business! If people can afford to invest in property, that is good. They are providing for their future as well as homes for those who need them. There's a lot of expense involved, it isn't all profit, but personally I think it's an excellent idea to put money into bricks and mortar.

Pay no attention to 'friend', she is probably jealous. In future, don't let anyone know your business! It's not worth the hassle.

LizFlowers · 18/01/2021 17:46

@ScribblingPixie

You may not want to challenge your jealous friend, OP (though I agree replying with a question mark would be a good idea), but I hope you won't offer her a holiday again.
Yes - no more cheap holidays for her!

(PS: I have a buy to let property which is currently let to a young couple with a baby, at an affordable rent.)

sueelleker · 18/01/2021 17:51

@BlueJag

We own btl homes. We always get digs about it. Fat cats, greedy, we are taking houses away from more deserving people etc. We truly don't care. We need a pension. Unfortunately £117 a week isn't going to cut it to live once we retire. We are self employed so it's up to us to provide ourselves with an income. I'll send a text asking what does she mean?????ConfusedConfusedConfused
And if you're letting it, you're not taking it away from anyone, are you? The only second homes I'd quibble over are the ones left empty except when the owners go there for holidays.
peaceanddove · 18/01/2021 17:59

It's envy. Pure and simple. She was happy enough to stay in the holiday properties owned by your parents - where were her values then?

But now that you can afford to invest in a 2nd property it's become personal to her. Suddenly, she thinks you've moved a few rungs up the ladder from her. In order to hide her envy and readdress the balance she's now pretending that she's morally affronted by you owning a 2nd home e.g. you might have the 2nd house but she occupies the moral high ground.

People are so predictable Hmm

YouBoughtMeAWall · 18/01/2021 18:05

How many homes do you and your family hoard?

AliceMcK · 18/01/2021 18:12

I’d ask what exactly dose she mean. Saying she thought you had better values than your family is a complete put down to both you and your family.

My first thought is that she’s jealous.

tenlittlecygnets · 18/01/2021 18:21

She sounds jealous.

Yohoheaveho · 18/01/2021 18:24

Landlords provide a service
aye, they service their own retirement with money that other people earn

VettiyaIruken · 18/01/2021 18:28

Well, I'm sure she won't be holidaying in one of them again after that little dig.

There's nothing wrong with being a landlord FFS.

MyGazeboisLeaking · 18/01/2021 18:45

OP, what a shitty, snide comment from her.

I think a 'how d'ya mean?' Is in order, at the very least.

I bet you're often too nice and let things slide. How dare she be so rude to you when you and your family have been so generous to her. What a cow.

Oldraver · 18/01/2021 18:50

OP has she had mates rates for the holiday homes or freebies ? If so it makes her attitude even more a cheek