Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Friend nasty about more than one home?

107 replies

Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 09:09

My family owns a few homes, including the one they live in. Some are buy to let’s and others holiday homes, sometimes rented in peak season. My close friend has stayed regularly in one of these for holidays. My parents aren’t lavish with money and don’t spend on extravagant things. They have an old car etc

I’ve recently bought my own buy to let and have my own mortgaged home. My friend knows about this as our mutual friend did the conveyancing. She’s since told me that she ‘didn’t think I was like my family’ and that she ‘thought I had better values.’ This was said in text with a winking emoji but I’m hurt by it. I don’t have loads of money and the buy to let isn’t anything lavish, I just thought it would be a good investment. My family have done this and it works for them. I’m now wondering if all this time she’s actually had an issue with this despite staying in one of the holiday homes and apparently liking my family... I don’t know what to make of it and sort of want to bring it up with her?! Would you leave it? I almost feel she’s been false with me all this time if she had such strong views. I’ve known her over two decades.

OP posts:
catlovingdoctor · 18/01/2021 12:07

Well, you did get a handout- you got £10k...

Original poster
Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 12:11

@SatsumasOrClementines

I don’t have loads of money 😂 You own two houses.

Have as many houses as you want OP, but don’t downplay that you are privileged. That’s what will put people’s heckles up.

I’ve not said I’m not privileged? I’ve also acknowledged that I have 10k to help get on the property ladder.

10k doesn’t pay off a mortgage and buy you a buy to let though. I’m simply explaining that I’ve worked hard to get into this position and wasn’t gifted this or handed it on a plate. In fact the 10k was mostly swallowed up with legal fees and surveys.

OP posts:
SuperbGorgonzola · 18/01/2021 12:12

@LakeGeneva

Landlords provide a service

Waiting staff provide a service. Landlords charge tenants for a subsidiary interest in a plot of land. It's grand and it's legal but it's not a service.

It was as far as I am concerned.

Unless we have a huge overhaul of way we live, the rental market is necessary. I wanted to be able to move with a month's notice without having to find a buyer. I didn't want to be concerned by significant property upkeep. I couldn't have afforded to do these things even if I had the appetite. I also had the free choice to wait, browse and choose the house I wanted, not to be allocated one by the council based on my "needs" on some form.

Original poster
Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 12:12

@KaptainKaveman

OP you are free to use your money as you see fit, but I really would question the judgment of anyone who actually says that " I was given £10k towards my house" and yet simultaneously claims they received "no hand outs" in the same paragraph. Hmm
As I’ve said, 10k doesn’t pay off a mortgage or pay for a buy to let. I’m simply acknowledging that I wasn’t gifted this house and have worked for it.
OP posts:
LakeGeneva · 18/01/2021 12:14

It was as far as I am concerned.

If you don't understand the meaning of everyday words then I cannot help you.

Original poster
Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 12:16

FWIW my family are good to those who rent from them, keep rent down, fix things immediately (and not cheaply), have given rent breaks over covid and not asked for it back (and won’t). Have covered council tax when one man lost his job. Not all landlords are bad people... it’s an investment like any other.

OP posts:
ThreeFeetTall · 18/01/2021 12:24

BTL is very different from having a second home. Not sure why everyone is mixing them together. The first someone else gets to stay in, the other is where there is one house that is empty at any one time

SuperbGorgonzola · 18/01/2021 12:26

@LakeGeneva

It was as far as I am concerned.

If you don't understand the meaning of everyday words then I cannot help you.

I'm interested in the alternative that doesn't involve people being allocated houses with very little choice and freedom about where they are and what they are like. My budget when renting was very tight, but I still had choices over these things.
Badoukas · 18/01/2021 12:29

The way I see it, your friend has insulted you and your family. Ditch her.

KaptainKaveman · 18/01/2021 12:31

"I've worked hard to get into this position"

Spare the 'I'm a grafter so I deserve it' refrain OP. Loads of us work hard. All around me in London I see teachers, junior Doctors and other professionals who work their arses off and cannot afford to buy a house. Then they are shafted by greedy LLs. I couldn't give a stuff how 'hard' you work. That means nothing.

Yohoheaveho · 18/01/2021 12:36

@Ylfa

I have huge problems with the concept of homes as investment when housing is a basic human right. It’s capitalism gone mad.

Hopefully I don’t judge individuals who do this too harshly, we’re all just trying to survive after all.

Encouraging investment in property results in others being priced out which is is destructive to society as a whole, so yes I would judge people who took part in this socially destructive type of investment but she ought to have a proper conversation with you instead of making sarcastic comments
fatblackcatspaw · 18/01/2021 12:36

There are issues around second homes and the impact on other people Apparently Edinburgh needs 43,000 new homes however the council won't shut down the 23,000 Airbnb's which are doing terrible things to the housing market here. Meanwhile people in rented accomdation have higher rents and more instability afraid to report problems with their flats as they will be slung out for Airbnb as the landords make 3 times as much rent. And no they are STILL being rented out during covid times. Your friend is entitled to her opinion. BTW I had a now dead friend who would RAIL AND RAIL about second homes and she owned a house in Glasgow, a flat in Edinburgh (she got fed up communting) a flat in London, and a share in a house in St Andrews and in the Isle of Man! If you have ever passedthe opinion about worries about other people's housing situation, lack of decent affordable housing etc and are contributing to it you are a massive hypocrite.

pilotsprincess · 18/01/2021 12:36

She is jealous.
Ask her what she means by that!

LakeGeneva · 18/01/2021 12:37

The way I see it, your friend has insulted you and your family. Ditch her.

Actually it's worse than that. This is a slight on your and your family's honour and must be avenged as such. Kill her first born and daub the entrails of a ritually slaughtered chicken on her dwelling place. Then turn your back on her. That bit is important.

Yohoheaveho · 18/01/2021 12:38

Not all landlords are bad people
I can agree with that
It's an investment like any other
No it isn't

Oreservoir · 18/01/2021 12:38

Ask her how she feels about her own pension pot being invested in companies that own property. I would think most pension pots are at least part invested in this way as well as stock markets, currency etc.
You’re just doing it directly.

Miljea · 18/01/2021 12:39

I could easily buy a BTL outright.

But I don't because I think 'ave a go' amateur landlording is immoral.

There, I said it.

likeamillpond · 18/01/2021 12:40

@bobbojobbo

If people on low incomes can't manage to get a mortgage, then their only option is to rent, which is what buy to let properties provide

Usually at extortionate rent and at massive profit, without maintaining properties adequately. They aren't being charitable.

Lots of people feel the same way, OP. If you want to be a property mogul you are going to be judged. Live with it

This
beantrader · 18/01/2021 12:43

You friend is an arsehole for enjoying your properties and then making comments about your family.

But spare me the "I've worked hard" nonsense. Loads of us work very hard and don't own property! It's not your fault that BTL exists, but your family don't get extra points for being nice to their tenants - that's the way it should be tbh

likeamillpond · 18/01/2021 12:44

@fatblackcatspaw

There are issues around second homes and the impact on other people Apparently Edinburgh needs 43,000 new homes however the council won't shut down the 23,000 Airbnb's which are doing terrible things to the housing market here. Meanwhile people in rented accomdation have higher rents and more instability afraid to report problems with their flats as they will be slung out for Airbnb as the landords make 3 times as much rent. And no they are STILL being rented out during covid times. Your friend is entitled to her opinion. BTW I had a now dead friend who would RAIL AND RAIL about second homes and she owned a house in Glasgow, a flat in Edinburgh (she got fed up communting) a flat in London, and a share in a house in St Andrews and in the Isle of Man! If you have ever passedthe opinion about worries about other people's housing situation, lack of decent affordable housing etc and are contributing to it you are a massive hypocrite.
There s a film on tv at the moment called 99 Homes. Well worth a watch This is different, it takes place in the states but there's still an element of making money out of other people's misery vibe about btl. That's why people judge people who buy up properly to let.
Beans13 · 18/01/2021 12:45

It's a bit of a dig by your friend, but obviously said light heartedly. However there's always truth in jest!

She's probably slightly jealous that you are so comfortable right now to be buying a BTL house when many are struggling. I'd ignore it though, move on.

Justasecondnow · 18/01/2021 12:49

Not in a position to buy to let, so never thought of it. Will have to mull it over now if I think immoral or not - I’m not sure.

That to one side the question is - is the friendship good enough to either have it out and the friendship survive, or for you to shrug it off and have the friendship survive?

Personally I’d have to reply.. but I quite like a good debate. You might want to consider the no hand outs but received £10k line though. I can see what you mean but it comes across a bit tone deaf.

justanotherneighinparadise · 18/01/2021 12:51

She’s jealous. It’s always the same answer.

Rooroobear · 18/01/2021 12:52

Oh fgs!! This thread is turning nasty. The OP came to see if she was being unreasonable and is being jumped on for being in a good position to be able to have a btl, that’s she’s worked hard for. All the ‘spare me the hard working line’ blah blah...yes most people work hard and could never afford a house of their own never mind 2 but that’s life. There are people that have well paid jobs and people that don’t and they will all work hard! Stop with the judgey, shitty comments.

dragonsmoke · 18/01/2021 12:55

@petrocellihouse

I would also tackle the friend who did the conveyancing. They have a duty of confidentiality to you as a client not to disclose this information.
This!