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Original poster

Friend nasty about more than one home?

107 replies

Gooooesj · 18/01/2021 09:09

My family owns a few homes, including the one they live in. Some are buy to let’s and others holiday homes, sometimes rented in peak season. My close friend has stayed regularly in one of these for holidays. My parents aren’t lavish with money and don’t spend on extravagant things. They have an old car etc

I’ve recently bought my own buy to let and have my own mortgaged home. My friend knows about this as our mutual friend did the conveyancing. She’s since told me that she ‘didn’t think I was like my family’ and that she ‘thought I had better values.’ This was said in text with a winking emoji but I’m hurt by it. I don’t have loads of money and the buy to let isn’t anything lavish, I just thought it would be a good investment. My family have done this and it works for them. I’m now wondering if all this time she’s actually had an issue with this despite staying in one of the holiday homes and apparently liking my family... I don’t know what to make of it and sort of want to bring it up with her?! Would you leave it? I almost feel she’s been false with me all this time if she had such strong views. I’ve known her over two decades.

OP posts:

TillyTopper · 18/01/2021 10:39

Firstly, I never mention what we have in terms of earnings, investments or property to anyone other than close family (i.e. DP and 2 adults DS) so you'd do well never to discuss it outside your close family.

Secondly, I think she's cheeky but jealous. I'd probably reply "yeah capitalism rocks" and distance myself. Or just block her.

Keratinsmooth · 18/01/2021 10:42

I would reply with a message along the lines of; well I guess that you won’t be using their property again then 😉

Omemiserum · 18/01/2021 10:43

If there were no landlords no-one would be able to rent a home.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 18/01/2021 10:47

Yep she’s clearly very jealous. Plus judgey

petrocellihouse · 18/01/2021 10:48

I would also tackle the friend who did the conveyancing. They have a duty of confidentiality to you as a client not to disclose this information.

Romancer · 18/01/2021 11:10

Don't let them worry you.
A b-2-let is a good provision for your pension. We now are planning when to cash in and pay the tax bill.
We have had good tenants mostly.
We have long term tenants, currently over 4 years. It suits them.
We replaced the boilers and refurbed a kitchens.
Happy tenants regular income, always people wanting to come to us.
It suits the tenants so it is Good Business.
Tax situation makes it less attractive than holiday lettings.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 18/01/2021 11:15

It sounds like she's looking down on your family and questioning their 'values' the way she worded that text. No way would I be letting that go. I'd also be telling her that it's been noted how she feels about these extra homes and despite her being happy to stay in them before, she obviously has a problem with them and therefore won't be welcome to stay again.

LaBellina · 18/01/2021 11:18

Could be jealousy. Or could be that she's one of the people who has a hard time buying a house because they have to pay a lot of rent and have to bid against investors when trying to buy a first home at a reasonable price. I do understand her frustration if the latter is the case but the way she has brought this up to you wasn't very kind and it's understandable that you feel hurt about it.

Iwonder08 · 18/01/2021 11:23

OP, I think you should say something to her. For instance it didn't bother your so called friend before when she stayed in one of the buy to let properties for a holiday.
She is jealous, it is better to get rid of such friends.

inquietant · 18/01/2021 11:29

This is a tricky one.

I have a friend I've known since school who has changed a lot since then and made some choices very different to those their younger self would (I think).

The choices they've made are not ones I would make, and I've changed less I think.

I try really really hard not to say things but there comes a point when I can't not say iyswim, because when asked 'have you thought about doing x' my instinctive face is because anyone who knows me would know that wouldn't be a route I'd take.

It is hard when values are very different though, it can make it awkward to discuss certain things.

But I would never send a text like that!

IJustWantSomeBees · 18/01/2021 11:31

I'd ignore her OP. I don't agree with the way the housing market is going and I don't agree with families not being able to afford to rent (both due to living in a right-wing, capitalist society) but realistically every single person here would have a BTL property if they could. Real life isn't MN or Twitter, etc. In real life we do what is best for our own families and we don't squander amazing opportunities for the sake of being able to say that we are woke.

AliceinBunniland · 18/01/2021 11:32

Your friend is being out of order and probably jealous

inquietant · 18/01/2021 11:33

@Ylfa

I don’t understand why people often have to claim benefits to top up their incomes to pay rent to people who go on to use that money to pay off a mortgage on the property in question. It not only seems to widen the gap between people but it’s not a good use of public funds. I can’t find any logic in this system, it makes no sense.

It does make sense when viewed as a mechanism to transfer public money to private property owners. Widespread council housing really limited property owners' ability to make money.

IJustWantSomeBees · 18/01/2021 11:35

For what it's worth as well, many people rent their properties to the council specifically to provide more housing for people who need it. I believe this anger against everyday families who own second homes is very misplaced, and I say that as someone who does not own a second home.

LakeGeneva · 18/01/2021 11:43

Your family are free to own a bunch of houses. The rest of us are free to think as we wish about it. Unfortunately that's out of your control. Nobody's in the wrong.

LindaEllen · 18/01/2021 11:47

@Ylfa

I have huge problems with the concept of homes as investment when housing is a basic human right. It’s capitalism gone mad.

Hopefully I don’t judge individuals who do this too harshly, we’re all just trying to survive after all.

Yes but people aren't being denied housing, are they. They can still rent these houses. People have to make money in this world, and not everyone can afford a mortgage. Not everyone WANTS a mortgage, i.e. if they want to rent in the short term or something.

The rental market is incredibly important, and it wouldn't work without landlords. Some can be arseholes, but equally there are some wonderful landlords, like the one I rented my first flat from.

Purplekitchen · 18/01/2021 11:49

I think just texting back a ?? Might prompt her to explain herself a bit more and give you an insight into her thoughts without being too aggressive.
I also don't get all the aggro thrown at BTL owners. Me and DH have a property which is rented out but it is the only property we own. We have accommodation provided with our job atm but the flat is our insurance as if we were to lose our jobs for some reason we would also be homeless.

SatsumasOrClementines · 18/01/2021 11:51

I don’t have loads of money
😂 You own two houses.

Have as many houses as you want OP, but don’t downplay that you are privileged. That’s what will put people’s heckles up.

KaptainKaveman · 18/01/2021 11:52

OP you are free to use your money as you see fit, but I really would question the judgment of anyone who actually says that " I was given £10k towards my house" and yet simultaneously claims they received "no hand outs" in the same paragraph.

SuperbGorgonzola · 18/01/2021 11:54

Agree with you. Landlords provide a service; one I used myself for around ten years, which gives flexibility.

There are also areas in my town that would be derelict without landlords. Little old Victorian terraces, with no gardens that first time buyers don't want because of the level of update needed compared to ceiling price, and lack of room to grow. But they're prefect for singles and couples to rent from a landlord who can update the house as an investment.

tara66 · 18/01/2021 11:55

Tell her people buy property for income and capital gains because there is 0% or 1/4% interest on money in the bank now for several years while there is still some inflation. I think most people are aware and you can tell her if she does not know. Taxes in uk are high so nothing is ''for free''.

picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2021 11:56

OP doesn't own two houses. She has two mortgages. Both houses will be lost if she fails to pay her mortgages.

It's a business opportunity, requiring investment and then time and effort to maintain and keep it running. No different to any other side business that people would usually say 'good for you' about. My dad was self employed and used a BTL property as his pension. It means you get calls on Christmas Day about taps not turning off, pay through the nose if a tenant does a runner leaving the property trashed, etc etc.

His tenant named their baby after him.

LakeGeneva · 18/01/2021 12:00

Landlords provide a service

Waiting staff provide a service. Landlords charge tenants for a subsidiary interest in a plot of land. It's grand and it's legal but it's not a service.

LakeGeneva · 18/01/2021 12:02

His tenant named their baby after him.

Was he called Jesus?

KaptainKaveman · 18/01/2021 12:05

@LakeGeneva

His tenant named their baby after him.

Was he called Jesus?

{grin}

Or Nicholas Van Hoogstraten? Peter Rachman?

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