WWYD - childminder heavy handed

[1lumpor3]

As I picked my son up from a childminder, I noticed that she was changing another child through the window (she didn't know I was there).

Childminder was heavy handed with the LO, almost what looked like slapping/pushing their legs into position for changing the nappy.

Son also claims he spend a lot of time upstairs with childminders 12 yo son playing video games.

WWYD?

Mine would be out of there quicker than Concorde

Sorry OP, I know it's awful when your childcare doesn't work out and leaves you in the shit...but there's no way my DC would be going near her again if I'd seen that.

My child wouldn’t be going back, and I’d be straight on the phone to OFSTED.

How old is your DS who plays video games upstairs?

My son is only 4.

Not acceptable. Either part of what you describe.

I am quite a relaxed person but I would be looking for another setting immediately.

How old is your DS? What does he say? I'd be very much guided by how happy he is, providing he's old enough/able reporting any problems to you. Sometimes wiggly toddlers and nappy changes require a certain amount of assertiveness.

My son loves it there. He says the childminder is nice and happy.

Remove him and tell the other parent what you saw.

My DC would have enjoyed playing unsupervised with a 12yo boy on unsuitable video games as well...but that's not what you're paying her for.

It's good that he's not telling you he's been hurt or upset by her, but I wouldn't risk it further personally.

Well, if hes happy there just ignore what you saw and he reports and crack on.

@LizDiz I don't know who the other parent is.

I don't feel comfortable with ignoring it at all.

If she’s letting your 4 year old play upstairs on video games with the 13 year old then she’s not providing a suitably safe, supervised, environment for him. That’s even without the nappy changing incident.

The baby getting its nappy changed - was it distressed, crying?

Ask your CM about the video game playing - I would hear her side of the story.

Communicate first, then decide what to do.

Next time you drop him off, how are you going to feel?

You can't trust this provider.

And video games with a 12 year old?! That's beyond unacceptable.

I’d pull DS out.

@GintyMcGinty yes, the baby was crying. But stopped soon after.

Another young child there too apparently.

I would find a new childminder.

Report report report. And remove your child obviously.

Please tell the other parent what you saw.

I would want to know if that was my child.

And I wouldn't be sending Ds back.

Seems like someone here doing this in their own home with their own older children around and other distractions possibly - so not really a ''professional'' child minder. Does she have any license and training to child mind? Can you put your child in a nursery?

If you got your wain in the car, thought about what you’d seen all the way home, are still thinking about it and have thought ‘I’m glad that was not my baby’, then you know what to do (as hard as it is).

@1lumpor3
Please remove DS from this situation.
CM isn't heavy-handed with him because she isn't caring for him...he is being cared for by the 12 year old son....which in and of itself is probably harmless but could be the perfect set-up for future sexual molestation by the older child...older boy left alone with younger boy who probably idolises him. Of course I'm not saying this happens in all cases but it happens enough to be concerning...especially since you are paying the CM to mind your child.
You don't have to accuse anyone of anything...just say you've found a better situation that works for your family...especially since your son has only said positive things about his experience there.

Thank you @Sweetpea1532 . My son won't be back. Do you not think it's important I tell the childminder why?

I'd be concerned about the fact she was changing a child by the window, where it could be observed by anyone and the video games. Her holding the child to change them if being really wriggly may be ok, as the nappy has to be changed. If she was pulling them about roughly and unnecessarily this is not fine.