WWYD - childminder heavy handed

[1lumpor3]

As I picked my son up from a childminder, I noticed that she was changing another child through the window (she didn't know I was there).

Childminder was heavy handed with the LO, almost what looked like slapping/pushing their legs into position for changing the nappy.

Son also claims he spend a lot of time upstairs with childminders 12 yo son playing video games.

WWYD?

Is she registered with anyone ?

@Diverseduvet you are concerned that she changed the baby by the window?? Really.....do you think there are weirdo's lurking outside peoples windows waiting for babies to have their nappies changed

Children have no idea what is supposed to be going on I mean a child could be going into a drug den with filth but given a lollipop and sweets and have someone kind smiling at them so not horrible and love it too.

I'd only ever put non verbal children in someone else's care if I was desperate.

@1lumpor3
Yes, I think it would be a good idea to tell her why since your son isn't going back...not so much about the heavy-handedness with the diaper change but definitely about her son minding your child whilst playing video games. Most older children are going to be playing video games that are inappropriate for a 4 year old.
It seems she isn't capable of caring for 3 children properly if she's pawning off your DS on her son. Think about it this way...would you be OK with letting your 4 year old play video games all day in your own home?
I know you wouldn't as you're a good responsible mum. Four year old DC are such little sponges...no telling what he could picked up from being around the older boy.
I am so sad for you that you are going through this incredibly stressful situation right now... It is so difficult to find good child minders

You must report what you saw to Ofsted. This is not acceptable at all. Please find a way to tell the parents of the baby being changed too.

Dreadful that the 12 year old is playing video games, what kind of games? Are they even safe for small children to see?

This has made me even more wary of childminders. As a child we went through a few questionable ones ( granted this was before ofsted and proper inspections and procedures) until landing on a good one.

Having said that, are you sure she was being heavy handed? The baby might be squirmy and she might have been trying to hurry so from there outside it looks heavy-handed.

I'd move mine ASAP, and report her to OFSTED. That's never acceptable

The video games would be unacceptable.. My ds is a teenager, he isn't allowed to play X box whilst i am working.

The nappy changing.. it is really hard to interupt... it could be a baby who rolls away, kicks legs but hard to know Based on what you wrote if those fit... you will no the answer to this.

Difficult...if you tell her she'll only keep curtains or blinds drawn. I'd be tempted to raise it through official channels.

Seems like someone here doing this in their own home with their own older children around and other distractions possibly - so not really a ''professional'' child minder
After a week of being told I’m selfish and short of morals for putting my dc into school so I can continue to childmind, now childminders are being told they are ‘unprofessional’ for keeping their own dc at home through the school closures. We really can not win!

And I’m not saying this one sounds great based on what the op is describing, but honestly, we are dammed if we do and dammed if we don’t.

No myusername, I dont think there are pervs hanging outside peoples windows, it's just something else I would find pretty slack.

@1lumpor3
I'm sorry I said you should tell the CM why you will no longer be using her services...you don't owe her an explanation at all! Especially if the thought of it is causing you extra stress.
. Like I said in my first post, just tell her you've found a situation that works better for your family...that's quite enough...unless YOU feel comfortable telling her...the less said the better for you.
I pray you find a loving new CM for your LO...he sounds like a lovely child...maybe an older woman ..retired school teacher?

@Maryann1975
What a thoughtful thing to do for your clients! Please don't listen to the naysayers...you are a parents' dream CM...it sounds as if you really take your CM job seriously...so that you can concentrate on the children in your care with your full attention.

I wouldn't keep my son there and I would report.
Playing video games is not acceptable. And if you felt the baby was being man handled then you were probably right. If it didn't look right it probably wasn't...

@Sweetpea1532 thank you. One parent cried when I told her I’d put them in to school, she was so relieved she wasn’t going to have to uproot her child, take time off from her front line job to sort alternative care. My dc are happy enough in school, the routine benefits them massively. And 5 families get to stay in their Critical worker jobs Because childcare continues. I think that is a very small win at the moment.

@Maryann1975
You are very welcome!🏆

Just for balance. Good childminders are absolutely golden. Ours is amazing. Such a natural environment for kids they all love to be with older / younger kids and get plenty of attention and she does loads of educational activities and crafts and takes them out in the holidays. Well done childminders!

There are good ones out there. Ask for recommendations and opinions and you will get the idea.

@LizDiz

Remove him and tell the other parent what you saw.

That’s assuming OP knows who the other parents is.

@JanuaryBlus

Difficult...if you tell her she'll only keep curtains or blinds drawn. I'd be tempted to raise it through official channels.

She’s hardly likely to do this in front of an OFSTED inspector.....

@Sweetpea1532, I agree with your comments about the older boy. That was my concern too when reading OP's post.
Very difficult time for you OP, I hope it gets sorted.

Of the 12 year old is off school, shouldn't he be doing on-line learning rather than playing video games.

Presumably you have a contract with the childminder which you can't just break without giving a valid reason.

Once you are unhappy as a parent with childcare/nursery/school there is no going back imo.

Thank you, all.

Please also know that this is in no way meant to be a CM bashing thread. I appreciate there are fantastic minders out there too.

CM advised me that my son was left with 12yo to play on the computer upstairs in his bedroom, but she states she would still be able to hear them and she checked every 5 mins or so.

My job deals a lot with child protection and I am acutely aware of potential risk scenarios. I'm sure her son is a lovely child. It isn't the question here.

She’s hardly likely to do this in front of an OFSTED inspector

That's kind of my point 😂

January-

Anybody can put on a show and make a good impression for an inspection!

@1lumpor3
It sounds like you're handling it well and I'm glad to hear that your job deals with child protection issues so you are extra vigilant