Anyone had mediation with employer?

[MrsLuciferMorningstar]

Regular poster but name changed for this. I’ve been having difficulties with my boss and her boss for over a year now and now HR have arranged some mediation. I originally was fine with it but now the meeting is nearly here I’m bricking it. Has anyone ever done this? If so, what was it like. Thanks.

I've done it from the side of the boss - I found it incredibly helpful and I know the other person involved did as well. It was a chance to really see the other persons perspective and talk things through.

@Chrysanthemum5

I've done it from the side of the boss - I found it incredibly helpful and I know the other person involved did as well. It was a chance to really see the other persons perspective and talk things through.

Thanks. Did you get annoyed with the person or think differently about them afterwards?

No I decided there was no point in the process if I wasn't going to approach it in a positive way and the mediator handled it all very well. It made the situation much better afterwards - didn't resolve it fully as the person had serious mental health problems so wasn't able to stay at work. However it did ease the tension and drew a line under some issues.

I meant to say I spent time in advance thinking through what I wanted to say and the mediator gave us both three questions to consider for this. Can't remember extents they were but it was along the lines of - what has been the impact of this upon you etc

Thanks. I’m just worried that they’ll gang up on me as there’s two of them. However, I have emails from both of them where they talk about my complaint (kind of what sparked this off) so hopefully no-one will think I’m crazy for bringing this up.

When I did it there was just me, the other person and the mediator. It's the mediators job to ensure fairness so they shouldn't let the others gang up on you. Hope it goes well for you

@Chrysanthemum5

When I did it there was just me, the other person and the mediator. It's the mediators job to ensure fairness so they shouldn't let the others gang up on you. Hope it goes well for you

Thank you, you’ve been very reassuring.

I did. The mediator was very good. I met with her alone and then on the second day the three of us. As I predicted my kind manager managed to make it about her. But she did apologise although I'm sure she had to seeing how strong my case was and the mediator was amazed I hadn't become sick sooner. The agreement was I would return to work with her once my objectives were agreed. It never happened because the line manager didn't do them. But importantly for me was that I proved that once again I was reasonable even in completely unreasonable circumstances. I'm sure you will be fine

Thanks @user1471538283 that’s the sort of thing I’m hoping for. Still dreading it though.