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Original poster

Opinions please to settle a dispute

59 replies

Ninjamomma · 01/01/2021 19:08

OK so opinions needed either way so I can see other people views, DH aware I'm posting as we both feel others wouldn't agree with our views

DH in DDs bedroom - she is 8 just incase people think age is relevant. DD sat on DH - she trumps. DH isn't impressed and I agree with this. DD apologises, DH walks out of the room and says "that's pissed me off". DD heard this

I told DH I wasn't happy with him say he was pissed off in front of her. I agreed it would have annoyed me too but she shouldn't have to hear that.

I've been to speak to DD and explained she shouldn't be going that, I've asked her to try to move away from people at the very least, she says she didn't mean to and did apologise.

DH doesn't think he has done anything wrong was saying it "pissed him off" and feels that she should have been able to move away and should have had some form of punishment (removing ipad for example) for trumping on him

I've said I feel having a word is enough and that occasionally even as an adult it happens before you've realised and that I don't want him swearing like that especially when she knows it's aimed at her.

So 1. Should there have been more punishment? and 2. Is he wrong to have phrased what he said in the way he did?

OP posts:

chaosisaladder · 01/01/2021 19:10

No, it was a fart so no more punishment needed. I’m not sure why your DH was so pissed off by it - it would, in fact, piss me off if my DH spoke like that in front of my child

I say - more punishment for DH

RunningFromInsanity · 01/01/2021 19:12

No more punishment but I wouldn’t be too bothered about the language either as it’s quite a disgusting thing for her to do.
Just move on.

Original poster

Ninjamomma · 01/01/2021 19:12

Just to add, she has trumped near him a few times before, but again has always apologised and excused herself

OP posts:

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Families

MaggieFS · 01/01/2021 19:13

It was a perfectly natural fart! Are they normally such a cause for drama in your house?

A quiet word along the lines of 'it's polite to try and hold it in around other people' would have sufficed.

bloodywhitecat · 01/01/2021 19:13

Punished for what? Was it deliberate? I doubt it. If not no punishment is needed, she apologised.
DH should moderate his language unless he wants his child to think they are OK words to use.

Original poster

Ninjamomma · 01/01/2021 19:13

Not on him though ever before

OP posts:

Fluttering5 · 01/01/2021 19:13

I don't think a punishment is needed, just simply let her know it's not nice to do that .. it's not nice, no, but not the most disgusting thing to have happened either.

He was wrong to say what he did.
Agree with pp, punishment for DH

Ragwort · 01/01/2021 19:15

Bit of a non issue on both sides - but did your DD do it deliberately? The fact that she 'sat' on him makes it look like it might have been on purpose, did she initially think it was 'funny'?

I'm very prudish about swearing but I really don't think him saying 'that's pissed me off' is that bad, it's not as if he told her to 'piss off'.

I'd let them sort it out between them, you shouldn't have to micromanage either of their's behaviour.

Findahouse21 · 01/01/2021 19:15

I don't think she needed to be punished, but I also wouldn't have a problem with him saying he was pissed off. If dd did that to me I would yty not to swear but I would tell her how bloody disgusting it is. Most people could hold it in for 30 seconds to at least try and move away.

Awrite · 01/01/2021 19:16

Trumps result in laughter here so I feel sorry for your daughter.

Hope she doesn't grow up feeling shame.

I will add that my children know how to behave outside the house.

Original poster

Ninjamomma · 01/01/2021 19:16

DH doesn't has a dislike for farting anyway, in all honestly I suppose I do too in that I would hope someone wouldn't do it on purpose if they could help but certainly wouldn't be mad if someone apologised and said it was an accident

OP posts:

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 01/01/2021 19:18

Jesus Christ. That's molehill to mountain.

She did it accidentally, (well it sounds like it?!) she apologised. She's 8. What the hell more does he want? You don't punish people for accidents. I wouldn't punish an 8 year old for doing it 'as a joke' the FIRST time either & I HATEany kind of 'toilet humour'

Saying, but not speaking directly to DD 'that pissed me off' is a bit odd. Either speak directly to DD OR say nothing. You'd only say 'that pissed me off' about something that's unable to be addressed surely? Like if it rained in dry washing, but even do you'd say it TO someone or. you'd say 'oh Fir fuck sake' or something. His comment is grating, it's PARTLY I guess.

A child trumped ...how did you get to her being 8, before he acted like such a twat about it?

Briannaoftarth83 · 01/01/2021 19:18

This is ridiculous. It's a fart ffs. What does your pathetic man child think will happen? Will he be forever tainted by the noxious fumes of an 8 year olds bottom?

My husband pins me down sometimes to fart on me and it's a cause of so much hilarity I often release a little wee. Imagine if that happened. Your husband would likely explode. God knows what will happen when my DS reaches 8.

I mean, you be you - your house your rules and all that but my view is lighten up.

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Soutiner · 01/01/2021 19:19

What a peculiar snapshot of someone’s private life!

Sometimes parents slip up and swear/shout/lose their cool etc and it’s ok as long as it’s not all the time and they demonstrate to the child that they shouldn’t have done it and apologise if necessary.

From what happened it’s hardly a big drama and not worth carrying it on.

plg21 · 01/01/2021 19:22

Sorry, I don't think your husband's reaction was unreasonable in the circumstances. Not everyone would see "pissed off" as a swear word, and even if you do, it's fairly mild.

I'd see the situation as resolved, I'm sure your daughter didn't do it on purpose but, equally, I'd probably have said I wasn't happy, whether expressed as he did or in another way. I would leave it at that.

HeronLanyon · 01/01/2021 19:22

Absolutely no punishment for your dd - it was a fart for goodness sakes - unless she did it deliberately and has been doing so.
I’m pretty shocked that your dh said that to her. Why was he so upset for goodness sakes and why did he make her feel badly. I just don’t understand this. I think he should apologise to her !!

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 01/01/2021 19:23

Overreaction on both parts.
She farted, she should apologise and if needs be told it’s not nice and not to do it again if she can help it.
I wouldn’t be too fussed about the language. I’d be pissed off to be trumped on.

BornIn78 · 01/01/2021 19:25

I don’t think your DD needs any further punishment, but I also don’t think your DH did anything wrong by saying she’d pissed him off.

But then I don’t believe for a minute that your DD did that by accident.

Groovinpeanut · 01/01/2021 19:26

She's 8 and she trumped?
What a huge fuss over nothing. Your husband needs to grow up!

Wispygypsy · 01/01/2021 19:28

Is this real? So much drama over a fart! We laugh when people fart

Original poster

Ninjamomma · 01/01/2021 19:29

Thank you, I appreciate all of the comments, maybe need to take into account it was probably just said out of disgust at the time but feel from responses I was right about not needing punishment and that having a word was enough

OP posts:

Omeara · 01/01/2021 19:31

It’s just a fart, she probably thought it was funny. I feel sorry for her. I wouldn’t even have made her apologise, I would have just had a quiet word to say it’s not really appropriate to fart on someone.

southern82 · 01/01/2021 19:35

God in our house...farts are hilarious! I can't imagine telling my son to hold it in...its just a bodily function!
I think you are both overreacting way too much!

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 01/01/2021 19:36

Jesus Christ woman, she farted. This is ridiculous. Both you and your not so dear H are being utterly ridiculous. Poor girl!

spidermomma · 01/01/2021 19:43

Oh wow.

It was a trump!!! Don't hang the poor girl out to dry please !!

If you hold them in it really hurts- sometimes impossible to do too

maybe not on his knee if she could of helped it but I'm sure you've both before had a surprise trump and not been able to stop it happening?! No need for how you've both reacted imo!
You don't need to give her a lecture and shame her for doing something so natural, she farted, he stormed off like a baby, that's that. She's 8!!!!!!!!!
My DS is 19 an he will sometimes trump as he's going to the toilet. I don't beat him black and blue?? We laugh because we all then know he's going for a poo lol My youngest kids find them hilarious (they do say excuse me when they do it but they obviosuly don't know how to control their trumps ) it's just a bodily function we all do!!!

I'm just WOW atm

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