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Original poster

Opinions please to settle a dispute

59 replies

Ninjamomma · 01/01/2021 19:08

OK so opinions needed either way so I can see other people views, DH aware I'm posting as we both feel others wouldn't agree with our views

DH in DDs bedroom - she is 8 just incase people think age is relevant. DD sat on DH - she trumps. DH isn't impressed and I agree with this. DD apologises, DH walks out of the room and says "that's pissed me off". DD heard this

I told DH I wasn't happy with him say he was pissed off in front of her. I agreed it would have annoyed me too but she shouldn't have to hear that.

I've been to speak to DD and explained she shouldn't be going that, I've asked her to try to move away from people at the very least, she says she didn't mean to and did apologise.

DH doesn't think he has done anything wrong was saying it "pissed him off" and feels that she should have been able to move away and should have had some form of punishment (removing ipad for example) for trumping on him

I've said I feel having a word is enough and that occasionally even as an adult it happens before you've realised and that I don't want him swearing like that especially when she knows it's aimed at her.

So 1. Should there have been more punishment? and 2. Is he wrong to have phrased what he said in the way he did?

OP posts:

spidermomma · 01/01/2021 19:44

Also I don't think you can fake a fart. If you did you'd probably just shit yourself

ChipsAndDip · 01/01/2021 19:45

Oh god I can't believe your DH reacted like that! Me and DP fart on/near/in front of each other all the time. DS is 2 and loves nothing more than trumping on my leg and shouting stink

Morgan12 · 01/01/2021 19:45

Its a fart ffs.

Tell him to get a fucking grip.

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ktp100 · 01/01/2021 19:47

Oh FFS, he needs to grow the fuck up and be grateful you don't have boys because they'll fully sit on your head and fart, the little shits!!

I can imagine how big a twat you have to be to be 'pissed off' and swear in front of a child because they accidentally farted!!

Does he think he's the fucking Queen??

Mydogmylife · 01/01/2021 19:47

@BornIn78

I don’t think your DD needs any further punishment, but I also don’t think your DH did anything wrong by saying she’d pissed him off.

But then I don’t believe for a minute that your DD did that by accident.

Agreed

lcdododo · 01/01/2021 19:48

@Morgan12

Its a fart ffs.

Tell him to get a fucking grip.

This

spidermomma · 01/01/2021 19:51

@ktp100 I don't even think the queen would of reacted like this. More Kim Jon Un 🤣🤣

TwelveDogsOfChristmas · 01/01/2021 19:54

Wow, we laugh at farts here. Better out than in. Sure - teach her to go to another room to do it, but don't shame her. Jeez. Holding in farts leads to trapped wind which can be painful.

mySILisawful · 01/01/2021 19:58

He is being ridiculous. It was a fart. She didn't shit on him. She is 8 years old. Don't make her ashamed of normal bodily functions.
Every time my dh picks up our 4 year old for a super hug ds farts. And the two of them laugh hysterically. I feel sorry for your daughter. Complete over reaction.

Regularsizedrudy · 01/01/2021 19:59

You both sounds absolutely mental! I was farting all over my parents at that age! . Punishing a child for farting is awful, your going to give her a weird complex.

DrFoxtrot · 01/01/2021 19:59

Crikey, I'm so glad I'm in a family that is relaxed about farting.

I don't think either your DD or DH need any further telling off, he's entitled to feel annoyed but, to me, it's an overreaction.

YoBeaches · 01/01/2021 19:59

At 8, farting is still funny. The whole 'disgust' notion is totally over the top for a normal bodily function. And she apologised, what more did he want her to do?

Does he/you intend to shame her for all of her bodily functions, because as a female she has a shit load more to deal with down the road.

You both need to take a trip back to reality.

AdaColeman · 01/01/2021 20:02

Does your DH fart? If so, next time be sure to take his iPad off him, and tonight send him to bed without any supper for saying "pissed"!

Using bad language in front of children is never a good idea, and he will find that she soon picks up his poor use of language. It seems that DH can't control what he says, but yet expects DD to control her digestive system!

Kingstonmamma · 01/01/2021 20:02

Gosh what a fuss about a fart. They happen, it’s natural (and generally quite funny)... I’m sure she knows how to behave in public... more punishment? Give her a break. She’s eight and she broke wind, I’d have laughed to be honest.

F0M0 · 01/01/2021 20:03

No punishment warranted for a fart! A telling is enough.

As for DH's reaction, I agree it was a bit much. He could have just told her that that's rude and not to do it again.

XmasGridlock · 01/01/2021 20:04

My 2 year old farts on me and DH all the time. He obviously can't help or control it, but we think it's hilarious and when he's 8 I'd still find it hilarious. It's just a fart. Nice way to make someone feel ashamed of natural bodily functions by saying it's pissed him off. In fact, I'm very windy and fart on DH deliberately and he does the same to me. We find it humourous. There's really no harm in it. Can't believe your DH thinks it's okay to punish a kid for farting. Okay, yeah, she did it on him but so what? It's just a bodily function. Big deal.

zaffa · 01/01/2021 20:04

If she is trumping regularly then actually I'd be investigating why - is there a dietary problem/ not using the loo regularly enough etc.
if she thought it were funny and has been trumping on people over and over deliberately I'd be having a sterner conversation.
If it was an accident and she indicated so then I would think nothing further of it.
I don't think your family reaction to what sounds like a one off incident is normal and I also don't think that she should be taught to hold them in as it can be quite painful.
You are however not unreasonable to not like anyone using the pissed off phrase around your daughter.
Are you usually so uptight as a family and what effect is that having on how your daughter is being raised? Was she sad or scared after the incident that she would now be punished and berated?

XmasGridlock · 01/01/2021 20:05

I also do silent but very deadly farts in the supermarket that I just cant hold in. I do it promptly and briskly walk away, leaving passers by thinking it was my poor DH.

zaffa · 01/01/2021 20:06

@XmasGridlock

I also do silent but very deadly farts in the supermarket that I just cant hold in. I do it promptly and briskly walk away, leaving passers by thinking it was my poor DH.

I have done this once

it was a terrible time and I had the most awful bloat so although it was silent it was most uncomfortable and I scuttle - waddled away

Singlenotsingle · 01/01/2021 20:06

It happens. We're all human. What a fuss over nothing.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 01/01/2021 20:08

I’d be pissed off if she farted on me, he is not being unreasonable.

Imiss2019 · 01/01/2021 20:09

Aw your poor dd. Two parents making a drama out of this is complete nonsense!

Aquamarine1029 · 01/01/2021 20:09

Do you and your husband always make such a big deal out of things?

maverickallthetime · 01/01/2021 20:11

Blimey your child should feel comfortable farting in front of you! My 2 both do but know not to do it in public!!

Cynara · 01/01/2021 20:11

Good grief, it sounds like an awful lot of angst over nothing.
The oddest part of it is the fact that two parents had to be involved in making clear to a child what an unacceptable act farting is. Your DH behaved like a tantrumming toddler and then you followed up by "having a word" with your DD in support of him. Very odd, and a complete overreaction by both of you, imo.

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