What would you think to see a fellow mum in the foodbank

[PodgeBod]

Just wondering. We have really suffered recently and I'm considering taking food from the local food banks. I can afford food but cannot afford even second hand winter clothing. It has become a delicate balancing act. Should I buy a hat, gloves and scarf set for my 3 kids or a weeks worth of shopping? Socks or bread? I'm so embarrassed but at the point where we cannot go on without help. But terrified a local mum will see us and spread it as gossip.

I volunteer at our local foodbank please don't feel embarrassed there has been a huge increase in people needing help you can just turn up you don't need a referral

Thank you for the responses, they have really helped and I'm feeling a bit more confident now. Happy New Year to all

Also try olio (food and other bits given away free) and nextdoor. There are quite often clothes being given away on nextdoor

I had some good quality childrens clothes that I offered to the local church clothes bank but they said they were inundated with donations so don't feel ashamed about taking some off their hands - you're doing them a favour!

I wouldn't judge at all. I dont know if it's been mentioned further up thread but join your local 'zero waste' group and put out a request for clothing bits you need. People are keen to get rid of stuff they don't need and would love to see it go to someone else to get use out of.

The food bank I helped set up though I am not currently volunteering with though still in touch with the committee have been delivering to peoples doorstep. Check out your local food bank on Facebook as it will give instructions to how they are administering supplies. As you are probably in tier 4 now as most of us are there will be very specific instructions. Also have a look at local churches. One I was involved with used to have a food project that had a hot lunch for 100 people once a week and they also gave out food parcels, it has had to be suspended due to covid but they now offer a take out service.

If you think you could do with assistance in sorting out finances then Christians against poverty are a very helpful group. You do not have to be a church goer or believer to access their assistance.

The road that people have travelled to need a food bank is no ones business but the food bank may ask it’s totally confidential. They do this for data purposes to lobby Government.

I came on to suggest Olio too, there are people on there who collect food at the end of the day from the supermarkets and give it away for free.

I think anyone with any decency would judge the gossip and not the person using the food bank.

I wouldn't think anything at all. Also OP have a look on your local Facebook, we have a group in hampshire where we gift and swap things for free - so if you needed gloves and a hat for a six year old you'd just pop a post out asking if anyone has any to gift and likewise you'd gift them on when you finished with them. It's used by all mums in the area and is quite successful. We also have local clothing exchanges who have masses of stuff and would be able to source out gloves and hats etc for you, and I absolutely promise you there is no judgement as far as I know. I have certainly never thought anything of the mums who pick stuff up from me and nor have I ever felt judged when I've picked something up from someone else. I know it's not the same as food obviously but more thinking to have a look if you have such a group locally for swapping out winter bits for kids. And it's all clothes and toys and everything we do, not just accessories.
Food bank wise I'd not mention it - whether I had to use one myself or was volunteering there I'd smile and acknowledge you either way if I saw you, chat if you wanted to, and then forget about it. There is no shame in feeding your family.
Please do access all the help you can, don't be put off by worrying about what people who don't matter might have to say x

@2020quelhorreur

If anyone I knew tried to gossip about someone else using a food bank, I think that would be the last time I spoke to them.

Completely agree with this. But possibly not before I gave them a bit of a scathing put down

Hi Op
I understand your Concern.!

Anybody who Judges you is 100 petc Cent Arsehole !!!

(And not Really worth Knowing Anyway !!!
(So in a way its really good to get shot off toxic people like that.!!!

Don't worry about what anybody you know thinks !!
Everybody knows 2020 was a Monamental Shit year when a hell of a lot of people are struggling emotionally/financially !
(Even well established business are too.

Like another Poster said,why should anybody Judge you for trying to do your best for your family at extememly difficult Times !!

p.s l has a couple of food hampers from my local Born again church centre, place over Xmas period.
(I seen someone I knew who used to work in our local hospital tuck shop many moons ago.
I was a teenager back then doing princes trust scheme community work there.
I was a bit embarrassed standing on my tod,but it was real nice to see someone who I haven't seen for some time,she was lovely,an know she well too.

I think if I heard someone gossiping about a foodbank user, I’d think less of them, and cull them from my social circle as far as possible.

What area are you op and what ages are kids? I have lots of outgrown clothes and will drop off if you are not too far and they are useful to you.

Do please reach out.

Any shame around the use of food banks sits firmly with the economic and political systems which have led so many people to need their services.

Many of the people involved in the organisation of our local charity initiatives are former users. They are encouraged to drive the approach in order to be as approachable as possible.

In time, when your DC are grown, you might be in a position to pay it forward and volunteer yourself. You would be doubly welcome as someone who has used the services. All the best.

Please contact your local council covid 19 relief fund. They can help with food and money it's for everyone not just those on benefits

Secondly contact pink orange they will send you food parcels

Don't feel embarrassed it's the same for lots of families

I wouldn't judge and I wouldn't mention it to anyone. I would try and see if I could quietly help you without causing embarrassment or being patronising.

@PodgeBod how old are your kids? I have some coats I could send if they are the correct size?

No one will judge you. And go to a charity shop for the clothing, nobody judges you for that or better still see if there's a local Salvation Army or similar organisation that has clothes they give to those in need. If you are near me I have lots of excess winter clothing I'll willingly give you.

If you need it you need it. I would never judge anyone. 2020 in particular has been a bugger and more people are going to need help. I would also try the social food shops and community fridges. If you belong to a buy and sell group ask for winter stuff on there maybe? I've put several things on for free. I'm sure times will get better for you and when they do you can donate

I volunteer at a food and no judgement at all also cause of Covid we are offering delivery as people can't come in as they usually would
Please don't be embarrassed everyone is struggling just now especially with lock down and people are being very generous giving to food banks so the food is there for those in need

Be kind to yourself and take a helping hand