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Original poster

Conceived when? I’m going crazy

56 replies

Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 20:52

Hi

I’d like some peoples advice or opinions

Going off my last period.9/11/20 I should be 7 weeks 2 days.
I’ve had excruciating pain in one side which I ended up being checked for. I was scanned and there was nothing there. Which meant I was quite early. Hcg levels were 400 but have since progressed well.

I went for a scan today as following that initial scan it’s sent me into a panic. I assumed this would be my ex husbands who I’ve agreed to take back and give it another go. I did sleep with someone else 30th November. I agreed to give it another go after this incident.
I slept with my ex husband 19-23rd November.

The scan today said 5 weeks 6 days so I’d be 6 weeks tomorrow. Could someone please tell me when I’d likely conceived as that gestation is the actual growth and not of the last period. (The last period would make me further along which I’m not)
I’m panicking now as I don’t want this to hinder us being back together.

How could I be so stupid. :-(

OP posts:
Lairyfightzzzz · 30/12/2020 20:54

It could be either really. If you don't want to risk it being the other man's and you don't want to tell your husband then your only option is termination unfortunately.

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 20:58

I keep getting the conception date as 19th November which would fit with ex husband.
He’s my ex husband, which was his own fault too.

OP posts:
Literaryseed · 30/12/2020 21:01

When was the first day of your last period? You need to look at when you would have been ovulating. You don't get pregnant the day you have sex, that's why doctors take your pregnancy from your last period. So you need to look at when you would have ovulated/been fertile and that may give you more idea. But if you had sex with both in the same cycle there is no way to be 100% sure.

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1st trimester Families General pregnancy
dollymoo · 30/12/2020 21:02

Too close to call op

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:05

It was 9/11/2020
I was expecting to be 7 weeks 2 days from that.
The scan has measured 5 weeks 6 days without that 2 week they account for when going from your last period.

When I work it back it goes back to the 19th November which would fit with ex husband.

OP posts:
Lairyfightzzzz · 30/12/2020 21:06

You can go over it all you want but unfortunately without a DNA test you will never know- it really is too close to call as a PP said.

Ithinkim · 30/12/2020 21:07

Too hard to tell

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:07

There is a full week between both men.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/12/2020 21:07

By my calculations baby was conceived on 19 November. If you slept with your ex h between 18-23 November I’d say it’s his baby. The scan is dated from actual conception rather than from your last period. I say it’s your ex husband who is the father.

Lairyfightzzzz · 30/12/2020 21:08

A full week between them is pretty meaningless. You don't know when you ovulated. It could feasibly be either of them. Sperm can live several days in the body.

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:09

Thank you. That is correct I was with him all the way through each day. I then did nothing until the 30th November which was the other bloke🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Lairyfightzzzz · 30/12/2020 21:10

Statistically it is probably more likely to be your ex's given you slept with him more times than the other man, but again without a DNA test you won't know.

Was it unprotected sex with both men?

Affor · 30/12/2020 21:10

Who did you not use contraception with?

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:12

Yeah it was.
Unfortunately I can’t remember it with the other guy, however I know it happened. But yes it was unprotected 😔🤦🏼‍♀️ But was just the once with that one

Thank your for your replies. It’s really appreciated

OP posts:
Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:14

Both unprotected

OP posts:
Graphista · 30/12/2020 21:17

That's way too close to call! Any pregnancy can easily potentially be out 2 weeks either side of expected ovulation date based on a 28 day regular cycle but actually very few women are genuinely 28 day regular!

The only way you can know for sure is a dna test I'm afraid, possibly a standard blood type test depending on the blood types of all 3 of you and you may need to know the blood types of both potential fathers anyway if you're rhesus negative.

One week between potential conception dates is really no time at all.

Honestly the only way you can know for sure is dna testing which can be done during pregnancy but I'm not sure what any risks are.

If you can't remember with the other man was it consensual? Hard to believe it could be if you can't even remember it!

EllyNC · 30/12/2020 21:22

I ageee that’s quite close to make a call, but fingers crossed for you it is your ex’s! Only way to know is a dna test?
Also, I thought scans still dated including the 2 weeks prior to ovulation? Otherwise surely everyone’s due date would change by about 2 weeks following the 12 week scan??

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:24

I have thought about the prenatal testing. Apparently blood test from me and a swab from the fathers. 900 quid though. 😱🤦🏼‍♀️

I would have been up for it. I tend to black out when drinking for some reason. I don’t even have to drink that heavily to blackout either. I mean blackout as in I don’t remember stuff from a certain point when drunk.

Seems I’ve a decision to make🙁

OP posts:
Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:25

They type on the LMP date and it states on my report GA 7 weeks 2 days. Then underneath it states it’s GA-AUA 5 weeks 6 days

OP posts:
Respectabitch · 30/12/2020 21:26

Scans are dated from presumed period, not conception. Pregnancy is always dated in weeks and those weeks are always 2 more than the actual date that sperm met egg.

Regardless, with only 7 days in between unprotected sex with two men in the middle of your cycle, you cannot tell from scan dating, as this falls within its margin of error. You will have to get a DNA test, either pre or post natally.

User415373 · 30/12/2020 21:26

Why was your scan dated like that? Gestation measurement charts are based on including the 2 weeks. So they took 2 weeks off?

Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:29

Yeah it seems like the 2 weeks have been taken off. As it’s measured at 5+6 days and not 7+2 I had no concerns until this 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Respectabitch · 30/12/2020 21:29

@User415373

Why was your scan dated like that? Gestation measurement charts are based on including the 2 weeks. So they took 2 weeks off?
No they didn't. They just dated the embryo by size as smaller than was indicated by LMP, which means the OP probably ovulated later than usual or has a naturally long cycle. (Or there is a possibility it has stopped growing, unfortunately, if they didn't see a heartbeat. Did they? 5+6 often wouldn't show one.)
Original poster
Mandyfox90 · 30/12/2020 21:30

Heart beat was present and pregnancy is fine

OP posts:
Respectabitch · 30/12/2020 21:31

@Mandyfox90

Yeah it seems like the 2 weeks have been taken off. As it’s measured at 5+6 days and not 7+2 I had no concerns until this 🤦🏼‍♀️
They haven't taken two weeks off. They just think you are not as far along as your last period date would indicate. This means that you ovulated later than 14 days after the first day of your period. Or unfortunately it can sometimes mean a pregnancy that isn't progressing.

The difference between your date by LMP and your date by gestational age/embryo size is not a full two weeks anyway.