DRY JANUARY 2021! This way please... all welcome

[HPLikecraft]

It’s that time of year again... the late Christmas present to our livers!

You may be thinking of doing Dry January to:

*detox a little after seasonal overindulgence, or
*help you cut down a bit generally, or
*help you start to get out of a harmful alcohol habit, or
*just be a bit healthier for a month...

It’s good for all of those things!

I find the MN DJ threads excellent for support, encouragement, sharing info,‘we’re in this together’ camaraderie, suggestions for grown up drinks, aversion techniques and just fun.

This is my fourth year of DJ and I swear it has made all the difference to me; it was so hard first time, but having succeeded I did dry June and October after that, and do so every year. It has broken my habit, banished the craving and reset my relationship with booze.

I won’t be finding DJ too difficult this year, but some will. Hopefully this thread will help.

Come climb aboard the wagon! 🙂☕️🧃

I think the term alcoholic is useful in one way - for instance when I'm explaining why I'm a widow and why I was in the process of divorce when my late husband died. It makes people accept the things he did to me and my DDs because it gives them a rationale.

In other ways it isn't a helpful term at all. Before my first reset, I was drinking 45 units a week easily. I absolutely had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and would class myself as a problem drinker. Now I'm not, because I've changed that relationship. If someone had called me an alcoholic, would I have been as successful in making that change? I couldn't tell you. On the other hand my late husband was absolutely addicted to alcohol, both physically and psychologically, so what would be a useful non-pejorative shorthand term for that? No easy answers.

@BrassicaBabe

Painful!

Drinking to cope with boring people, or worse, being called boring for not drinking is bloody rubbish.

[quote Tazers]@CoronaIsWatching

A lot of people are in denial about their alcoholism. Alcoholics are pissing themselves in a homeless shelter, they aren't middle class mummies posting on mumsnet. Apparently.[/quote]
But aren't 'alcoholics' people that cannot live without a drink?
I can go without a drink I just enjoyed too many glasses of wine during lockdown and Christmas.
If I can stop for dry January easily surely that doesn't make me and alcoholic? Or is it the quantity that I was drinking?

[quote Tazers]@CrystalE

I've heard this too. It was the poster below who said she wasn't an alcoholic because she only drinks 30-40 units a week. I pointed out that this is way above the NHS recommended amount and another poster said that the NHS recommended amount is pulled out of thin air. That's two posters in denial about their problem drinking.[/quote]
I'm doing dry january (and am on day 15) because I recognise that I was drinking too much. So I can't see why you think I'm in denial

I failed last night. Back to day 1

I have found a lot of the neuroscience explanations of why alcohol is an addictive drug to be very helpful when trying to drink less. Annie Grace explains it plus lots of other stuff on the internet.

I think it's also really helpful in explaining the spectrum of alcohol issues rather than the kind of black and white of alcoholic/ not alcoholic.

On another point - I agree re boredom drinking with family. But when I last did a long non drinking stretch I realised that all the drinking family members didn't notice really if I sneaked off and read a book.

I once went to a family wedding where I drove home at the end and a cousin challenged me as she thought I'd been drinking all day. She hadn't even noticed that I d been missing for most of the boozefest walking round the venue grounds and had been drinking water all day.

@Therainisback

I failed last night. Back to day 1

You didn't fail. Don't think like that. You had 13 days without a drink and that's great. Now you can have another 13, or however many you want. Every day that you don't drink is a win for your health.

I agree with pointy. You aren't back to day 1 @Therainisback. You've done 13 days. And today. Don't think of it like snakes abs ladder dumping you right back to square 1. You've got this! Keep with us

Well done everyone, halfway through January! To Therainisback, you didn't fail it's just a blip and it sounds like you haven't given up so that's fab.
I've found that I think about alcohol less with everyday that passes. I still haven't broken the habit of sitting down to watch TV with a glass as I have tonic water every evening instead. I think I need to work on not looking for a glass of something to watch TV with but that's the next step.
I started yoga (never done it before) which I do every evening around 8ish which would normally be my "thinking about opening a bottle" time so it also keeps my mind off it.

@JC17fj74

Alcoholism is on a spectrum, as I understand it. Although I agree with the poster below who said it isn't really a helpful term. I used it in response to your comment as you had used the word alcoholic.

If you are drinking 30 - 40 units a week (I speak as someone who used to drink 40-45 units a week on average, so I'm not saying this to belittle you) then you are on the "alcoholism" spectrum. Although you may prefer to call it problem or risky drinking. Maybe functional alcoholic? 30-40 units a week is way more than medical professionals recommend.

After doing DJ several times, I've got my alcohol intake down to 10-15 units a week (although I have to watch for it creeping up again, which is why I do a reset dry month every now and again).

@CoronaIsWatching

I wondered if you'd stated that, in your opinion, the weekly limit of 14 units that is recommended by medical professionals in the NHS "is pulled out of thin air" because thinking that means that you can convince yourself that you aren't drinking too much.

Alcoholics are known for being the masters of denial. Think about it, do you really think that people who aren't problem drinkers consider eating a pizza without a glass of wine to be an achievement?

Evening everyone, day 16 here. I nearly succumbed today. I had the red wine craving from this afternoon following a tortuous week homeschooling. I recited the mantra - i will have a glass tomorrow if I still feel like one and drank my tonic water.

Things I've noticed this week:
my sleep is more interrupted compared to last week when I slept so well.
Other posters have commented on pms symptoms and I've not had any breast tenderness so far or serial killer mood swings but still gained a kilo which is standard pms for me.

To @Therainisback who had a drink, today is a new day. Get back on the horse

And @pointythings you are amazing setting up a COVID ward!!

@JC17fj74

My 40-45 units a week was made up of about half a bottle of wine Sun - Thurs with dinner and then a half bottle plus a couple of G&Ts on a Friday and Saturday. I work Mon - Fri which is why my weekly intake was less. I'll admit I felt drunk on a Fri and Sat (due to the extra G&Ts) but the half bottle of wine on a week night didn't make me feel drunk. This was risky drinking according to the research I've read and risky drinking is on one end of the "alcoholism" spectrum. The other end of the spectrum is, of course the stereotypical "alcoholic" who has lost everything due to drink - home, relationship, kids, driving license, job. There are a lot of stages on the spectrum between the two.

Thank you for all your kind eords. I do indeed intend to continue. Having a pukka night time tea ( or as DH calls it a sleepy snoozy night-night tea)

There are definitely stages of problem drinking, and I think most of us on this thread who have chosen to do dry January are doing so because we've recognised that we are in some sort of problem drinking situation. Personally I chose to do it because my drinking was out of control and incredibly unhealthy. I don't have a problem admitting that. If you want to call it alcoholism, then fine, it's a label, an uncomfortable one, but it's not the only label you can use.

If it's an achievement to have a pizza without having a glass of wine with it then to me that says two things, firstly that yes there is a drinking problem there, but secondly, and possibly more importantly, that the person admitting that is doing something about it. By being open about that issue, by trying to do dry January, by seeking support and offering it to others, they are owning and tackling that problem. I think we all deserve kindness and support for trying to change something we early recognise as a problem.

End of day 15 for me, another teacup on the app. I'm starting to think about what I want to achieve in February now. I'm thinking that a ban on buying alcohol, (we still have a lot of booze in the house) combined with a 14 unit per week limit might be the way to go. Koko

If it's an achievement to have a pizza without having a glass of wine with it then to me that says two things, firstly that yes there is a drinking problem there, but secondly, and possibly more importantly, that the person admitting that is doing something about it. By being open about that issue, by trying to do dry January, by seeking support and offering it to others, they are owning and tackling that problem. I think we all deserve kindness and support for trying to change something we early recognise as a problem.

My point was that people who aren't a problem / risky drinker don't even think about alcohol. This is something that a fair few posters seem to be in denial about.

@katmarie

There are definitely stages of problem drinking, and I think most of us on this thread who have chosen to do dry January are doing so because we've recognised that we are in some sort of problem drinking situation. Personally I chose to do it because my drinking was out of control and incredibly unhealthy. I don't have a problem admitting that. If you want to call it alcoholism, then fine, it's a label, an uncomfortable one, but it's not the only label you can use.

If it's an achievement to have a pizza without having a glass of wine with it then to me that says two things, firstly that yes there is a drinking problem there, but secondly, and possibly more importantly, that the person admitting that is doing something about it. By being open about that issue, by trying to do dry January, by seeking support and offering it to others, they are owning and tackling that problem. I think we all deserve kindness and support for trying to change something we early recognise as a problem.

End of day 15 for me, another teacup on the app. I'm starting to think about what I want to achieve in February now. I'm thinking that a ban on buying alcohol, (we still have a lot of booze in the house) combined with a 14 unit per week limit might be the way to go. Koko

I agree the fact we are doing dry January means we want to change our drinking habits one way or another. Support and kindness is needed and encouragement. One thing I have noticed on my Fitbit is my resting heart rate has gone down dramatically, it was 70-76 and since I've stopped alcohol it's gone down to 60-63 I'm amazed by this and it's made me even more determined to see this through and change my drinking habits after dry jan to Friday and Saturday nights

Initially I did Dry January because I was indeed a problem drinker.

These days I do it partly out of habit, but also (and this is going to sound very unedifying) to cock a snook at my late husband, whose intake that I knew of was about 140 units a week. I loved him very much when I married him. He was a great guy. Then his parents died in the space of two years, he dove into the bottle and became unrecognisable. His behaviour put me and both my DDs into therapy. By the time he left the marital home with the police, I no longer loved him. I am still not over being angry at him 2.5 years on, because we are still living with the consequences of the things he did. So I do Dry January as a way of saying 'here, I can do what you couldn't'. And no, I don't even find it difficult any more except on days like this when work has been hell. Even then, it's easy to say no, I'm not drinking and forget about it.

But my motivations for doing Dry January are not wholly healthy and I hope that one day I will overcome that.

@Spacecudet - the going to bed at 10.30 is part of the problem. My sleep patterns are dreadful not helped by DH snoring.

I got a bit better by sleeping in my DS bed when he was away at uni but now he's home for an indefinite period I am back to rubbish sleep again.

Anyway, am not feeling the urge tonight. Long may this last.

I've done 15 days. I can't believe that. And I think I'm starting to feel the benefits a bit, have slept a bit better and actually enjoying the evenings now.

@CrystalE

Quies wax ear plugs may be worth a try. They aren't expensive on Amazon. I have a snoring partner, mine also likes to have loud conversations with himself when he's asleep.

@pointythings

Nothing wrong with cocking a snook at your ex, after what he put you through (if I can say that). It sounds like you are acknowledging and recognising things and are working on them. These things take time.

I shared a bottle of wine with DH last night. Had such a tough week (like many of us) and decided to 'treat myself' to a takeout and glass of wine.
To be honest I didn't even enjoy it that much after the first glass and my sleep was definitely worse for it. Back on DJ.

@Tazers my sleep problems also includes being addicted to listening to audio books to get to sleep. So not very nice for DH.

I think if I get drinking back on track I will have a proper crack at sleep once DS goes back to uni (if ever ). I have access to a programme called sleepio which I m told is good but didn't try it before as alcohol is the biggest sleep disruptor.

Although also DH and I are sleep incompatible in many ways. I like curtains open, windows open and he is opposite

The lazy lie ins that are now being enjoyed as a pleasure rather than feeling like a necessity to try and sleep off the night before, are really nice.

Sleep is lovely and I am enjoying the extra hours (when they aren't being interrupted by DH snoring and/or night sweats).