Keeping maiden name post marriage, any problems?

[Siw2020]

How many people actually do this without any issues?

The only thing I don't like about it is having a different name to any future DCs. Double-barrelling would not work for us (DP already has a very long surname).

Makes sense for us both professionally to not have the same name. Also, I just feel like this is my identity, it just feels a bit historical to go by your father's surname until you marry and then taking on husband's....

Would love to hear of people's stories where this has worked with no bother.

Why would there be any problems keeping my name, it’s my name.

A coin flip can help you decide which name to give a child. If you have multiple kids, you could even alternate surnames.

No problems

Didnt double barrel the kids either, they have their fathers name

@Cloverforever

Why would your kids have a different surname? You give birth to them ergo they can have your surname.

This. And if the husband feels it's important they have the same name he can change his.

I use Ms Myname, been married 15 years. The only irritating things are:

1. people addressing cheques, post etc to Mr and Mrs
2. having to constantly explain. Actually I haven't had to do this so much recently but I did when we were first married and when the kids came along.

Kids have their dad's name. Someone said I should always travel (back when we could!) with my marriage cert /kids' birth certs if travelling with them but this has never been a problem.

I didn't do anything with my bame until I was heavily ph with our first child.

The children have DH's surname.
I am Dr MaidenName at work and Mrs MarriedName at home.

I’ve kept my name with zero issues.

When I travel alone with DCs I take birth certificates, but never been questioned about them having a different surname. They have my surname as a middle name.

Over 20 years married and never had a problem with using my own name - yes it happens to be my lovely dad's name too but it became mine when I was given the name at birth.

DC have DH's surname as I lost that battle (but I chose the first names if they were having DH's surname.) I personally don't like double barrelling so wouldn't have done that.

Do what makes you happy OP. It's no hassle.

I still have an account in my maiden name, I refuse to change it despite my bank being a bit funny about it. I’ve had cheques which they refused to deposit without making a big fuss. Also when buying property it seems to crop up. It seems you cannot go by two names without it raising some suspicion.

Twenty years and three kids later, never had a problem.

I've kept my name. Ten years married and counting and I've experienced no issues at all. Occasionally older relatives on his Sade address cards to Mr and Mrs Hisname which gets an eye roll but it's fairly rare. Our child does have both names double-barrelled though.

Give the children your name.

I've kept mine. Earlier this year the cashier at the bank tried to tell me it was illegal for me to not have changed my name. I laughed at her. The bank still cash cheques to my married name (doesn't happen often as most people know) they just ask to see my marriage certificate and it's no problem.

Ugh. Hate the thought of taking a mans surname.

I didn't change my name. And my children took their dads (my husband) first name as their surname as culturally this is how lineage is recorded. So we've all got different last names and it's never been an issue.
The only time anyone has questioned it has been the first time I entered the country with my child and immigration asked to see a copy of their birth certificate or something that linked them to me as their parent. This is part of measures to reduce child trafficking which I thought was very responsible.

In over 4 years it's never been an issue!

Keep your name!!!

Just kept my name, never had an issue until we travelled to Amsterdam and I needed proof they were my kids as they have my DH name.
I couldn’t care less whether we have the same name or not, they are my DC, they know it, I know it.
I get called Mrs Kids surname by the school, but my DH get called Mr WN, all mistakes but no harm done.

I didn't change my name when I got married and haven't had any problems in 10 years, unsurprisingly, because it is the "do nothing" option and I hadn't had any problems using my own name in the previous 40... Our kids have their father's surname, nobody had a problem with that before we were married or after. We've had a holiday abroad as a family and there were absolutely no issues with that either.

A couple of people wrote cheques to Mr and Mrs Assassin for wedding presents, but we just sent them back politely saying we wouldn't be able to deposit them and they both just sent rewritten ones. Can't remember the last time anyone sent us a cheque though!

@HopefulMama2020

Just to offer a slight alternative, I changed my name to my husbands in my personal life as I want to have the same name as our children, but have kept my maiden name at work. I'm well established in my profession so it made no sense to me to change it - best of both worlds I think!

I’ve done this too and it has worked well for15 years.

I use my husband’s surname when it’s anything to do with the school / doctor etc
I use my maiden name for everything else.
My passport is in my maiden name, but my driving licence is in my married name

I have exactly the same approach as Lampzade. Married 13 years, very few problems. I have been asked twice at passport control what my relationship to my children is but just looking at them would tell you they are my blood kin

My kids think I am lucky to have two names but will always refer to me by my maiden name if needed. I secretly like this as they are all boys and it appeals to my feminist side.

Occasionally I forget which name I use for what but it’s never been a massive problem. If there is ever a doubt (eg hospital records which predate my marriage are in my maiden name but I am registered in the GP with my married one) I just double-barrel casually and tell them to send the correspondence to Blogdog Maiden-Married.

I find the older I get the more attached I am to my own name. My married one feels foreign to me.

As a PP said, in many countries you don't change your name when you marry, it's just unheard of.

I'm Spanish and I have both my dad and my mum's surnames. I will pass my dad's on as that's my first, but you can choose whether your child has dad's or mum's surname after their first name, so you can pass on either of them.

Everyone has two surnames so it's not double-barrelled, but I guess we might have to double-barrel our kids' depending on which country we're in when they're born and growing up.

I tend to only use my first surname in the UK as otherwise people assume it's my middle name, and use my 2nd surname as the only family name. So I usually drop the second, except for official forms etc.

The thought of ever having to change my own name is definitely weird to me.

I kept my maiden name. Oddly, the only person who persists in addressing cards etc to "Mr and Mrs Hisname" is an old, old mutual friend who knows perfectly well what my name is and has me on Facebook under my correct name. The only issue - and it's more of an irritation than a real issue - is that I'm nearly always called "Mrs Myname" when I'd much prefer "Ms Myname".

I've been married 28 years and kept my surname without any problems. Like mineallmine, our DCs have my husband's surname but I chose their first names. One has my surname as one of their middle names, and another has my mother's maiden name as a middle name.

I didn't change my name. The only issue I had while married was the bank who insisted I come in and explain why - I told them it was none of their business.
The main issue was after I divorced. When travelling with my son (who had my ex-husband's surname) I did get asked a couple of times whether he was my son or not (and he also got asked whether I was his mum)
In retrospect, I should have given my son my surname as a middle name so that it appeared in his passport (I'm not keen on double barrelled surnames)

Kept my own name with no issues at all.

No DC of my own but we’ve travelled with DSD several times, all 3 of us have different surnames and we’ve never had to provide any proof to allow her to travel with us.

Absolutely zero issues. We’ve double barrelled the kids but like a PP if that hadn’t worked I would have wanted them to have my name or a compromise third name, though my feelings are complicated by being an immigrant living in my husband’s country (the UK).

It’s very useful for identifying misogynists at Christmas time.

We have more issues with people assuming the kids’ surname is DH’s when it comes to cheques etc.

When I married my husband over 25 years ago he took my name. The logistics of it meant that he changed his name by deed pole just before our wedding. To save any confusion in the church the vicar didn’t use our surnames during the ceremony. We’ve never had any issues with it. He didn’t like his name and didn’t want to pass it on to any children.
Certain members of my husband’s family had plenty to say about it but we just ignored them.

No problems legally or with banks etc, but even now, after eight years of trying to explain, 90% of my friends and family refer to me as Mrs (DH surname). I have asked and asked people to use my name as they’ve always done, but they don’t listen. Sigh