Another age gap thread!

[rainatnightlove]

I'm 21- nearly 22 and I've been with my partner for just over 3 years now- he's 37.

I'm in university studying a degree (psych) and he is a business owner. Together we have two dog children

Hoping to have a human child within the next few years- I've said before he is 40.

What are everyone's views on this?

To be honest I think it's fine. I'm 26 and my fiancé is 37. Been together for 5 years now and very happy. We also have 2 dog children

You got with him when you were 18?

He preyed on you.

You probably don’t think so but any man in his 30s dating a woman in her late teens is a predator.

If you'd been my 18 to I can't say I'd be thrilled at you bringing home a man of 34 who's old enough to be your Dad.

But only you know the dynamics of your relationship and the power play. And I'm sure you've heard all the judgements a million times.

Just remember to get a ring on it before you have a baby

It is weird that he wanted to date an 18 year old at 34.

Really similar situation to myself. I'm almost 22 also, and my dp is 36. Been together since I was 18 too. So obviously I would think there is nothing wrong with it, but it definitely depends on the individuals. We met at work and were friends before so that helped.

@oOmuffin
So your dp knew you when you were still a minor and befriended you and then once you were 18, you started dating ?

You don’t think there is anything at all odd with that?

Nothing at all?

When I was 18, I wasn't at all interested in men that old. So it seems strange to me. On the other hand, human attraction IS weird.

@Yoshinori we naturally became friends through work. Not to the extent where I would socialise with him outside of work but it was a small workplace where you kind of had to be friends with everyone.

Also, I didn't say we started dating as soon as I turned 18.

I don't think there's anything odd about it at all, although like I said in my pp, it depends on the individuals.

I was 22 when my DH and I started going out - he was 40. I'm 35 now and we're still going strong. He's my soul mate.

He’s a predator

It would be interesting to ask all these men in their 30s what they found so attractive about the teenage girls they dated.

And I've had relationships with similar age gaps, 15 years, but looking back now even at 24 and 39 it was a huge gap, let alone of we'd got together when I was still a teenager.

Unless you're a very worldly teenager and they're some terribly shy geeky guy, they have had a lot more life experiences and that creates an imbalance

We knocked around with lads max 3 years older than us. Yeah we were all dickheads but we had a ball.!
I had a friend that sloped off with an older sensible man and he showered her with gifts etc...He gave me the creeps, her Mum was distraught AND she missed out on so many parties/ nightclubs/raving/good times.

It won't be a popular opinion but I think the problems will come later. An age gap when you are both young like now is not a big deal.
When he retires at 65 for example, and you are 4 and have years of work left to go, so you can't enjoy it together. Or maybe when he's 80 and you're 64 and you end up being a carer. I've seen both of these situations.

49* not 4...

21 and 37 might feel fine, but remember to split up before he gets really old and you end up a frustrated and resentful carer to a cantankerous old sod.

@Yoshinori

You got with him when you were 18?

He preyed on you.

You probably don’t think so but any man in his 30s dating a woman in her late teens is a predator.

Wow! My husband is 23 years older than me and we are very happy and met when I was 19. 2 kids later and all is still well.

@babymoon89 oh how lovely! Congratulations on the engagement

@Yoshinori I wouldn't go with 'preyed' personally 😂 I can see how some may see it though. I didn't know him before so definitely not a groomed relationship at all in my opinion.

@Dnadoon I definitely don't miss out on nights out/holidays with my friends so don't worry! He's actually a workaholic so encourages me to go off out with my friends 🤣

Also no gift giving/money dynamic here!

Predator. Massive power imbalance.
Your brain is not fully developed yet.

I would slow things right down and really reassess things.

Is marriage on the horizon? If not make sure you educate yourself on the difference between being married and cohabiting before you have children.

Creepy AF. I question any grown man who wants to be with a teenage girl.

If you have kids with him before he's 40 then you would still be really young. Could you hold off until he's 45?

I'm studying psychology as well, final year

No judgement from me. I left my husband after 30 years and have been living very happily for a year with a woman 30 years younger than myself. All depends on the situation and individuals

@FatLassNumber1

No judgement from me. I left my husband after 30 years and have been living very happily for a year with a woman 30 years younger than myself. All depends on the situation and individuals

Is she a teenager though?

She's 21, does that matter?