What’s your “ How did this crap get published?!” book?

[MrsGrindah]

Just finished The Pretenders by Agatha Zaza. Gosh it was dreadful.Cannot understand how drivel like that gets a publishing deal. There was a scene where, in the middle of a “ dramatic” moment, one of the side characters crosses the room to his wife and “ took hold of the corner of her blouse” . What?! Who does that?! I can’t even picture it.

All the people say 50 shades, expecting a well written book would be like expecting decent acting/script in "confessions of a window cleaner" 😂

Normal People by Sally Rooney - just a book of nothing. And don't get my started on the lack of quotation marks around the conversation. Definitely wouldn't have made it to the end if this hadn't been our bookclub book.

@x2boys

50 shades of grey ,I couldn't finish it ,it was so dire

This, I don’t even think I got 3 chapters in 🤦‍♀️

@ithoughtisawapuddycat

Normal People by Sally Rooney - just a book of nothing. And don't get my started on the lack of quotation marks around the conversation. Definitely wouldn't have made it to the end if this hadn't been our bookclub book.

Oh the lack of those made me but at one point I was in a quite bonkers FB group (about the tv series) and they all thought it was wonderful or 'didn't even notice' when reading the book

@Notthissticky

The girl on the train. Posted about it on here as I genuinely thought I'd missed something after reading it. Just could not understand the hype

Same, its rare for me not to finish a book but I just couldn't plough on through it, I was so glad when the film was on and I could finally find out what the hell was going on 😁

50 Shades, it was awful and so repetitive!

50 Shades, Twilight etc

A supposed gothic horror where I ended up knowing more about sheep farming than what the plot was supposed to be about.

One horror set in an asylum where the doctor was possessed by a demon in about Chapter Two. Set in Yorkshire, the author, who probably couldn't find the county on a map, wrote the dialogue like 'Eeh, I were up at t'farm abart Choosdi'. That was supposed to be a police inspector. Drivel.

@DoctorYang

This is the Cows book - ]]

Why did you buy that !?!? sounds unspeakably vile.

Mill Point Road by JK Ellem. A completely ridiculous book about a serial killer written by someone who has no idea of police procedure, with some ghastly gratuitous sex scenes thrown in for the hell of it.

@HollowTalk

BA Paris - the one about domestic violence. My eyes almost rolled right out of my head.

Just read Adele Parks' new book (can't remember the title) and the same was happening there.

Both got to number one - no idea how.

God, me too. That BA Paris one that 'everyone raved about' was absolutely diabolical. I was actually cross that someone not only wrote that but then someone else thought it was good enough to publish. Shockingly terrible.

I can’t even remember the name of it but the plot was a sort of adventure thriller in the Indian Jones type vein. Post da Vinci code which is probably why it was published.

Main character, a professor or academic dr, was an utter tosser and it was clearly the male authors fantasy of being a hero, discovering something amazing all whilst having two very different women fight over him, one was an edgy goth like girl. Cliched to fuckery. A male Mary Sue

Agree with The Slap and A Little Life - both truly terrible.

‘A supposed gothic horror where I ended up knowing more about sheep farming than what the plot was supposed to be about. ‘

Any chance of more details? I like gothic horror but I am REALLY interested in sheep farming

@Rainbowandscarlett

The one where she goes to bed for a year My mate loved it-I got 3 pages in and gave it back

50 shades-I wasted 3 hours of my life reading that drivel-just to prove a point with my friends

Anything by insta-parents-I went though a phase and they are all the same crap with different covers

Anything by Cathy glass/Casey Watson
I used to love both but it’s turned into ‘my kids are angels,I’m an angel for fostering-I should get a medal for my services and the kids/parents should be hung up to dry’
And they are both very twee

I'm with you on the fostering stories! Their own kids are always absolutely perfect, and they take any excuse possible to lecture the reader. There was one where the children are watching a firework display, and she's at pains to note that normally they all go to bed much earlier than that, as all children should. Someone eats some chocolate and it's accompanied by a paragraph about how healthy and nutritious their diet is at all other times. Sanctimonious preaching that just detracts from the story she's trying to tell.

Torey Hayden's books are better. Slightly less twee and she's honest about not always immediately knowing how to help children with complex problems, and struggling with it sometimes.

Can I recommend an actually very good book? I read this over Christmas last year and it's stunning. A good social commentary on women who are usually overlooked by historians.

www.goodreads.com/book/show/37570548-the-five

Following on from The Sally Rooney stuff-Paul Mescal (Connell in NP-good up and coming actor) is going to be in a film adaptation of The Lost Daughter by Elena Ferrante with Dakota Johnson and Olivia Colman, so I gave that a go. I am intrigued as to how the film will pan out as the book has virtually no plot.

@SwanShaped - my kids love Father Christmas needs a wee!!

Y AlexCabot I have read that too and it’s excellent.

I just read ' When god was a rabbit ' for book club. It was so hyped but read like a soap opera...then this happened, then this happened...and at the end she has pontifications on ' How I Became A Writer'

Anything by an Instagram influencer. Brummymummyof2, motherpukka for example - just WHY?? All shit.

Any chance of more details? I like gothic horror but I am REALLY interested in sheep farming

You might like "The Coffin Path" - it has really detailed descriptions of the smell of fly strike, among other agricultural details.

Someone eats some chocolate and it's accompanied by a paragraph about how healthy and nutritious their diet is at all other times.

There was one of those books that was sprinkled with references to a recipe book she'd published. 'I rustled up a quick pasta, cheese and tomato bake - see my book 'Happy Eating For Kids'. I rustled up a quick boiled egg - see my book 'Happy Eating For Kids' Gaaah!

[quote AlexCabot]Can I recommend an actually very good book? I read this over Christmas last year and it's stunning. A good social commentary on women who are usually overlooked by historians.

www.goodreads.com/book/show/37570548-the-five[/quote]
Oooh, I've just finished that and agree that it really is excellent!!

I've got two more horrors:

Anything by David Walliams. Absolute rubbish. I had the unenviable task of reading them to DC and good god, it's overwritten, grammatically suspect, lazy shite.

And the second one? Wolf Hall. Sorry. I tried, I really did. Im quite knowledgeable about this period of history but when I got half way and still couldn't work out who was talking about who, I gave up...

50 shades. Utter drivel, unbelievably naff.

Anything by Martin Amis. What a pile of misogynistic drivel.