What’s your “ How did this crap get published?!” book?

[MrsGrindah]

Just finished The Pretenders by Agatha Zaza. Gosh it was dreadful.Cannot understand how drivel like that gets a publishing deal. There was a scene where, in the middle of a “ dramatic” moment, one of the side characters crosses the room to his wife and “ took hold of the corner of her blouse” . What?! Who does that?! I can’t even picture it.

@BalaamsAss

This is possibly very outing because my particular hatred of this book is well known among my friends, but the worst book EVER WRITTEN is, without doubt, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake.

Aside from the fact that there is nothing in the book to “place” the story - it literally could have been set anywhere at all - it is the biggest pile of crap I have ever read. It begins with a possible hint of a good premise, but it quickly becomes clear that the author has stretched things far beyond the realms of even the most imaginative reader. It ends with a character WHO TURNS INTO A CHAIR!!! No word of a lie - I sat there open mouthed at what utter tosh I was reading.

After I had finished it, and shared my disgust with my book group (who all agreed with my conclusion on the merits (or lack thereof) of the book), it went straight in the bin - I couldn’t even bring myself to donate it - I wouldn’t inflict it on my worst enemy

I was just coming on to say this!

I thought the premise was great and then... nothing. It was bloody awful! Why I finished I don't know.

I also wasn't impressed with So lucky by Dawn O'Porter.

Not rtft but..

Part Time Working Mummy: a patchwork life.

Absolute drivel.

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. It’s lauded as a deeply meaningful book. It’s not. It’s bollocks in so many ways. Which matters when one is writing about the Holocaust.

This is the biggest pile of bollocks I have ever had the misfortune of teaching. It is badly written and stupid how the hell would a German kid miss understand the furher (spelling) for the fury? I always spend a lot more of my teaching time on the history than the English when teaching this drivel.

Closely followed by 'they all fall down' about the plague (my head of department is big on cross curriculum links) it was so dull, didn't care about any of the characters and the history was so show horned in.

Anything by Paulo Coelho. Badly written pseudo philosophical crap.

@wellthatsunusual

I loved The Slap. I thought it was excellent precisely because every single character was thoroughly unlikeable but I still wanted to know what would happen to them. I think it takes a good writer to make me care about people who I dislike.

Agree. They were a revolting bunch but it completely drew me in.

@TrufflyPig

Anything by Paulo Coelho. Badly written pseudo philosophical crap.

Omg yesss! I felt guilty for not 'getting' it.

Absolutely agree about Sophie Hannah! Her latest effort was utterly ludicrous!

Fifty Shades of course.

Anything with 'why mummy swears/drinks' in the title. Just boring really.

Martina Cole...she just bangs them out now. Same characters, same dialogue, huge inconsistencies...she's just laughing all the way to the bank.

I think Adele Parks either needs to take a break from writing or reinvent herself under a different name.

I loved The Slap! Surprised to see it here.

Just read the most awful book, think it's called Love in Lockdown. Was interested to read a fictional book set in lockdown, really wish I hadn't bothered. Blander than wallpaper paste.

All The Lonely People by Mike Gayle. I've read a couple of his which aren't bad but this was so irritating.
Basically he was writing as a Jamaican pensioner. Well if he 'kissed his teeth' once, he 'kissed his teeth' a hundred times!
It was like the author had learnt the saying and then thought it had to go in every friggin chapter.

Hubert almost kissed his teeth.
Gus kissed his teeth.
Hubert kissed his teeth (again)
Hubert kissed his teeth (really? Yep again)
Hubert kissed his teeth (and again🙄)
Hubert kissed his teeth in frustration (as did I)
Poor writing.

And yes 'padded' into the bathroom is irritating as hell. Padding anywhere makes me cringe

@tisonlymeagain

Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. Hated this with a passion, long, dull and bloody boring,

One Day - awful characters, nothing likeable about either of them.

Wow ... I love Kate Atkinson and Life After Life is probably my favourite of hers! The sequel was great, too.

I also loved Life After Life, amazing book it really moved me. Same as Time Travellers Wife, it's one of my favourites along with The Goldfinch.

The Secret History however, has now put me off Donna Tartt for life. What was all that about?

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake is a parody of go-nowhere wank

@Wishimaywishimight

Anything by Dorothy Koomson, read a couple years ago, so dire I was moved to write a review on Amazon (why can one not give zero stars??).

Anything by Nora Roberts - to say her books are drivel would be a kindness.

You might be interested to know that she now has a podcast on how to become a better writer

Should have specified Dorothy Koomson has a podcast...

I really loved The Goldfinch and The Slap.

@ThreeImaginaryBoys @dayswithaY I really wanted to like it, I've liked her other books, I just found it dull and the characters not particularly likeable!

I tried reading a Val McDermid but couldn't get into it. Should I give it another go?

The Boy in the striped pyjamas should be anywhere near schools. The way it treats the Jews as if they're animals is bizarre. And The idea one aryan kid getting mixed in by accident with the killing is the real tragedy.

Lots of people have said this, its even on wikipedia-

''A 2009 study by the London Jewish Cultural center conducted a survey in which 75% of respondents thought Boyne's novel was based on a true story.[16] Many students also thought "the tragic death of Bruno brought about the end of concentration camps."[12]

Criticising the book's accuracy, the Auschwitz-Birkenau State Museum commented in 2020 that the novel "should be avoided by anyone who studies or teaches about the Holocaust.''

The writer also weirdly pretended his partner had died when they had actually just broken up

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas is absolutely dire and really offensive to boot - I can't believe it's used in schools!!!

*shouldnt

Yes I detest The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas too for all the reasons above.

Books by:- jenny colgan, Sophie kinsella, cecelia ahern, maeve binchy, Meg Cabot and Nora Roberts. I just could not get into books by these authors. Mind you lots of people love Terry pratchett but I did not like his books despite trying to read them! I don't mind Dorothy koomson!

I love Terry Pratchett books. I have all of them. Nowt wrong with not liking them though. I really don't like it when you say you don't like an author & people look at you like you've admitted wearing puppies as slippers.