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What’s your “ How did this crap get published?!” book?

521 replies

MrsGrindah · 20/12/2020 15:37

Just finished The Pretenders by Agatha Zaza. Gosh it was dreadful.Cannot understand how drivel like that gets a publishing deal. There was a scene where, in the middle of a “ dramatic” moment, one of the side characters crosses the room to his wife and “ took hold of the corner of her blouse” . What?! Who does that?! I can’t even picture it.

OP posts:
Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 21/12/2020 01:27

Any of the Shopaholic books, otherwise I love Sophie Kinsella.

TheSandman · 21/12/2020 01:40

@Fluffyandsilly

The Alchemist. Ugh.
Oh god yes that WAS awful.

I tried reading a Philippa Gregory recently and was amazed at how dreadful it was.

Historically the worst book I have ever read was one of the Survivalist books by Jerry Ahern. It's a series of books set in a post nuclear holocaust world and in the one I read basically a white family of gun fetishists spent the book shooting non Christian hairy bikers for 180 pages. Apparently the rest are just the same.

"The author wrote 27 books in numbered sequel plus an addition of two un-numbered books selling a total of 3.5 million copies in total"

www.bookseriesinorder.com/survivalist/

YaHabeebee · 21/12/2020 01:52

It has to be 50 shades.

Interested in this thread?

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EmilyinWolverhampton · 21/12/2020 02:05

Okay so I apologise for thread-jacking but the story of how 50 Shades got published is WILD and an object lesson in evil genius marketing.

As you may or may not know, 50 Shades of Grey was originally written as a Twilight fanfic and posted online under the title Master of the Universe. This was at a time when fandom culture was at its height. EL James was what is known in fandom circles as a "BNF", or Big Name Fan, a fan who is extremely active and popular/famous within that fandom.

EL James spent several years assiduously building up her status as BNF, and her reputation as a writer of decentish (by fanfic standards) and explicitly sexual Bella/Edward fanfiction. Master of the Universe is what's called an "AU" or "Alternate Universe", a fanfic that takes pre-existing characters but puts them in a new realm. So in her AU, Edward was a billionaire businessman into BDSM.

Then she announced that due to the response to her little fanfics, she was going to convert her most popular fanfic Master of the Universe into a proper book. She changed the names from Bella and Edward to Anastacia and Christian, changed the title, changed a few tiny other details and self-published it on Amazon.

Now it's extremely easy to make the Amazon best seller list, if you're savvy about how Amazon's algorithms work, and have a decent amount of friends willing to shell out 99p for your ebook. Many members of the Twiight fandom bought her ebook even though presumably they'd all already read it for free when it was a fanfic, in order to support one of their own.

EL James had substantial media connections and media savvy due to her father working in TV, her own lengthy career working behind in the media, and her husband's career as a screenwriter. She launched a huge PR blitz trying to attract the attention of any publication she could find with her story of "the little self-published ebook that topped the Amazon best seller chart." This pretty shameless self publicity generated a fair bit of press which resulted in her book being picked up by a trad publisher, and the whole thing snowballed and snowballed.

Some time later (before she'd become huge) EL James' former assistant/helper leaked her emails online, and the emails showed that the entire Twilight fandom thing had been one big PR stunt from the start, a highly calculated attempt to infiltrate and monetise fandom. In the emails James talks dismissively of Twilight fans and openly admits she's only spending time writing fanfic and becoming a Twilight BNF because it's an easy way to latch onto a built-in audience base. One of the things new writers struggle most with is getting their names out there and building up an audience. By linking her work so explicitly with Twilight, pretending to be a Twilight superfan, and engineering conditions so that a good percentage of Twilight online fans felt honour bound buy her book, she leapfrogged that entire arduous process. She didn't need to build up her audience, she just helped herself to Stephanie Meyer's audience instead.

Obviously something about her book struck a chord with people. But to invent such a calculating plot was pretty devious, and she certainly has a genuine gift for PR if not for writing.

Silvetmoon · 21/12/2020 02:09

Such a Fun Age.

Can’t understand the hype!

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 21/12/2020 02:12

On Chesil Beach

One Day

Both with such unlikeable protagonists that I couldn’t give a flying what the frig they did with their lives.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 21/12/2020 02:14

Also, The Luminaries
Is there a person alive who genuinely read every word through to the end?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 21/12/2020 02:14

@sofiathe2nd

Where the Crawdads Sing, really don’t understand the hype
Me neither. We read it for book group and everyone else loved it. It got voted "best book this year" at our (virtual) Christmas meeting.
PerveenMistry · 21/12/2020 02:40

Anything by Janet Evanovich.

DeeCeeCherry · 21/12/2020 03:37

Anything by Martina Cole. All her books = same characters with different names. I don't know how she gets away with it tbh

White Teeth by Zadie Smith - lazy sloppy "research" eg the sounds of Spanish(!) in Brazil...

Fifty Shades - So tediously written I could only read a few pages

LocaNel · 21/12/2020 04:04

EmilyinWolverhampton fascinating background..thanks for the insight...makes me want to read it even less...

ginislife · 21/12/2020 04:13

Wolf Hall. I didn't get past page 6. Tedious. How it won awards is beyond me. And I rarely give up on books.

LocaNel · 21/12/2020 04:14

Someone earlier mentioned Victoria Hyslop. I was given one of hers set at the time of the Spanish Civil War. I'd forgotten all about it till this thread..had to look it up on Amazon to be sure of the name - The Return. It infuriated me so much. Such cliched characters..old schoolpals/ different lifestyles in south West London/love flamenco/go to Granada for weekend/ the one with the rubbish marriage happens upon a cafe where the (80 something) waiter by pure chance turns out to have been a brilliant bullfighter on the losing side in the Civil War. Absurd coincidences and the war sections were straight out of Wiki.

Womanwiththegoldenbun · 21/12/2020 04:59

The Girl Before by JP Delaney - awful book, silly, continuity errors and offensive ( one character is said to be speaking in black speak.)

As pointed out 50 shades was self published so can't express shock at how that got published but @EmilyinWolverhampton does a brilliant job of giving some background.

Sorry but Eleanor Oliphant was tedious.

Celeb author worship also worries me. Richard Osman Thursday Murder Club is now one of the best selling hardbacks of all time. It's a pretty bog standard murder mystery but reading the reviews and the huge marketing campaign behind it, you'd think it was penned by God Himself. No doubt more celeb books will follow.

AdriannaP · 21/12/2020 05:13

Another vote for The Minituarist. Can’t believe that got published - let alone was a bestseller.

ThreeImaginaryBoys · 21/12/2020 05:46

@HelloDulling

The Hunting Party. Utter tosh.
Couldn't agree more. Lazy stereotyping, crap storyline and sub-GCSE writing style. The woman only appears to know three adjectives.

And anything by Kate Mosse, as PPs have said. Books that scream 'I've done lots of research, don't you know?' but are tedious as all hell.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 21/12/2020 06:00

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. It’s lauded as a deeply meaningful book. It’s not. It’s bollocks in so many ways. Which matters when one is writing about the Holocaust.

whichminoguesister · 21/12/2020 06:03

That bloody crap Eat Pray Love. All that shite where she's on the floor.

Moonmelodies · 21/12/2020 06:18

There's a pertinent ad in Viz this month ...

What’s your “ How did this crap get published?!” book?
CrazyFoxLady · 21/12/2020 06:21

@TheChosenTwo I agree about the dithering woman. There are quite a few annoying characters actually! It's good bedtime reading though, and I'm dying to know if she's bonkers, or some small children really have physically regressed from being teenagers. (Not a spoiler btw) Grin

TheChosenTwo · 21/12/2020 06:51

@CrazyFoxLady me too! It’s the only reason I’m persisting Grin
Agree, it’s fine for a bit of bedtime reading but I know when I’m really into a book because I’ll read it during every spare minute of the day and will have it finished in a day! Not this one, I’ve been plugging away at it for about a week so far and am only on page 60.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 21/12/2020 07:12

A Discovery of witches. The main character is SO WET. Repetitive self absorbed drivel. And so many baths!

Shantaram. More self absorbed, hubristic wank. Very high on the "of course that happened, dear" list.

There are loads of books I start and give up on unfortunately because they're such drivel. I've gone back to reading a lot of classic literature because it's so disheartening trying to find decent reliably good authors like Kate Atkinson, Tracy Chevalier or Karen Maitland.

Silvetmoon · 21/12/2020 07:14

@DeeCeeCherry

Anything by Martina Cole. All her books = same characters with different names. I don't know how she gets away with it tbh

White Teeth by Zadie Smith - lazy sloppy "research" eg the sounds of Spanish(!) in Brazil...

Fifty Shades - So tediously written I could only read a few pages

The sound of Spanish in Brazil! Oh my.
BatleyTownswomensGuild · 21/12/2020 07:23

50 Shades of Grey without a doubt - also didn't finish...

Jayneisagirlsname · 21/12/2020 07:47

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. It’s lauded as a deeply meaningful book. It’s not. It’s bollocks in so many ways. Which matters when one is writing about the Holocaust.
Absolutely agree. So many major plot points that would never have happened in Nazi Germany. It's insulting to the myriad of true and devastating stories.

I didn't know that PS I love you was written when she was 17. I like the premise but always thought the characters seemed stuck in their school personas so that explains it.

Any book by David Walliams. Crikey they make me angry, what an unpleasant man he must be.

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