What time are your year 9s allowed out til?

[evenmoreforthemoor]

Just interested to know whether DDs 'home time' is typical.

Non school night, no lockdown hers is 9pm, later if she's at a friends house and we pick up.

Usually out at a park or similar.

@MrsJE

Wow! I went to Ibiza with friends in sixth form!

I have no objections to DD going on holiday but I will not allow her to roam the streets.
One of my older DDs travelled to Canada alone at 16 to meet a penfriend and she also did Camp America at 17 but I have never allowed any of my children to hang around the streets.

You'd let her go to Ibiza on holiday at 16 but not to the park with friends in the dark?

I'm guessing you live in a city?

Erm some kids go to the park to use the Skatepark’s.
My year 7 has my permission to do this.

@evenmoreforthemoor my eldest isn't quite that old - y8 - but sounds about right to me (for lighter evenings). I would probably ask he is inside now in winter. But that could be a friends house.

Goodness sometimes in summer I would keep my younger ones at the park till late on a non school night if we were having fun and they didn't need an early night.

I used to love playing out as a kid! rule was to be home by the time it got dark, as a teen I honestly can't remember but did go out while it was dark. Seems there's been a shift in attitudes going off these responses. I'd be more concerned about online habits though

*You'd let her go to Ibiza on holiday at 16 but not to the park with friends in the dark?

I'm guessing you live in a city?*

To be fair I said holiday I didn't actually say Ibiza

I live in a lovely village, near lovely towns, and the local city is nice too...

But my year 9 dd doesn't spend her evenings randomly loitering in parks or on the streets. Unless she has somewhere specific to be, she's at home!

@Bunnybigears

I'm baffled as to what people think is so bad about hanging about the streets? Especially now they cant go in each others houses. Hanging about doesn't always equal trouble.

It's interesting isn't it?

I think it probably has to do with where people are geographically. I wouldn't let her hang out in a park if we lived in London, but the local lit park in a small town with her friends seems to me to be a very safe place to practice independence.

@MrsJE

*You'd let her go to Ibiza on holiday at 16 but not to the park with friends in the dark?

I'm guessing you live in a city?*

To be fair I said holiday I didn't actually say Ibiza

I guess the same remark stands for 'holiday'.

I mean what if she went to a park, after dark, on holiday?!

Same rules as I had as a teen

No real curfew, I had to be honest about where I was and who I was with, let them know when I'd be gone and warn them if I was going to be late.

Also I was never allowed to roam the streets or hang in a park - that was an absolute no.

I was a venture scout though so we went camping with my mates nearly every weekend.

Totally thought you were all discussing your 9 year olds and was thinking WTF?! 😆

I’ve just made my y10 come home at 5.00 pm as it was dark.😁.

She was in the park with her friends until then.

@ActuallyIveGotDental

I live in a lovely village, near lovely towns, and the local city is nice too...

But my year 9 dd doesn't spend her evenings randomly loitering in parks or on the streets. Unless she has somewhere specific to be, she's at home!

Loitering was a massive part of my childhood. I loved it! In fact my parents moved from London to where we live now so that I could loiter in a safer place!

I've grown up to be pretty awesome, well qualified, happy and well adjusted.

I guess maybe loitering is in her genes :)

@Paddingtonthebear

Totally thought you were all discussing your 9 year olds and was thinking WTF?! 😆

It feels to me like some people are!

Thanks evermore for clearing that up! My ds is 15 and I let him out till 9 most nights and shock/horror he is actually out hanging around the streets, I do worry but I do think a bit of freedom at that age is good! To learn right from wrong etc, I trust him and hopefully I brought him up right to make the right decisions, can't keep them locked up!

@solomonsfish85

Thanks evermore for clearing that up! My ds is 15 and I let him out till 9 most nights and shock/horror he is actually out hanging around the streets, I do worry but I do think a bit of freedom at that age is good! To learn right from wrong etc, I trust him and hopefully I brought him up right to make the right decisions, can't keep them locked up!

Yeah, that's my thinking too. Got to give them their wings. She's really learnt this past year or so how to be responsible when going out - letting me know what she's doing and with whom.

She's only cocked up a couple of times with timings etc and I've reeled her back in and told her her independence is reliant on me being able to trust her. I'm quite proud of how well she's managing her loitering.

I live overlooking a park and tbh the teens hanging about the in the evenings are loud and anti-social. I suspect at home they're all 'lovely kids' and they're just out 'being independent'.

I don't think there's any need for loitering tbh and my kids won't be doing it! We also live in a very nice, leafy small town. Doesn't matter.

@FollowThatStarTonight

I live overlooking a park and tbh the teens hanging about the in the evenings are loud and anti-social. I suspect at home they're all 'lovely kids' and they're just out 'being independent'.

I don't think there's any need for loitering tbh and my kids won't be doing it! We also live in a very nice, leafy small town. Doesn't matter.

That doesn't sound like fun living there. However, not all teenagers are anti social at all - although most are loud! If you can't be when you're a teenager, when can you be?!

Hanging out at friends houses till late is one thing but just wondering around late at night...not a chance!

There is too many weirdos out there these days regardless of whether you're in a city or a small town where everyone knows everyone IMO. You never know who's lurking about and what their intentions are, especially in the dark. I know everyone is different but I personally wouldn't let mine sit in the park or walk around in the dark without an adult. It might just be me though

The kids around here (small rural town) who hang around in the parks are the ones how set fire to fencing around the children's playgrounds and break saplings.

Oh and some of them assaulted a girl.

So, no, my kids aren't out, roaming the streets with fuck all to do. That's a recipe for trouble for teenagers.

@Clymene

The kids around here (small rural town) who hang around in the parks are the ones how set fire to fencing around the children's playgrounds and break saplings.

Oh and some of them assaulted a girl.

So, no, my kids aren't out, roaming the streets with fuck all to do. That's a recipe for trouble for teenagers.

Ahh the days of 'fuck all to do'.

What I'd give to get them back!

Sorry for your experiences, that sounds shitty.

Thankfully my year 9 ds has no interest so it has never been an issue. It's certainly not something I would ever encourage though. I used to do it myself, lots of drugs, underage sex / drinking, smoking, fights, grooming by older men, rape, carrying knifes for 'protection' etc. And this was in a small 'safe' town. Thankfully my parents knew nothing.

There is too many weirdos out there these days regardless of whether you're in a city or a small town where everyone knows everyone IMO. You never know who's lurking about and what their intentions are, especially in the dark. I know everyone is different but I personally wouldn't let mine sit in the park or walk around in the dark without an adult. It might just be me though

What age do you think is ok for dealing with the weirdos? My 13 year old son is a foot taller and a lot stronger than me, he can also run a lot faster and from his time 'hanging around the streets' a lot better at spotting potential trouble.

A gradual introduction to the big bad world via the safety of a local park seems ideal to me aged 13/14.

The people I met at uni who hadn't been allowed any freedom all went insane in the first few weeks! One ended up pregnant and a couple of others with accidental drug overdoses (both fine now! And the baby is now 24).

Obviously that is a massive generalisation and can't be extrapolated to include all kids who are kept away from the streets and park and I'm sure most kids who don't 'loiter' turn out to be perfectly fine. As do most kids whose parents allow them to play in parks past sundown!

It's the wide variety of parenting that makes us all the wonderful and interesting individuals that we are.

Mine s nowhere near year but I really hope she 'll be hanging out in the park. Fresh air, no adults around. Let them have fun.