ADs and the hardon colanders

[CruCru]

Here’s the new thread.

Welcome, @Anotherthink, you're absolutely in the right place.

Luckily my DH thinks the same as me (largely, how the hell did it come to this?) but I know there are others on here who have a similar issue. Really don't know what to suggest. I don't think I could handle having to live by any more rules than Saint Boris is already dishing out.

That sounds tough Anotherthink.
I think there are a few regulars that are out of synch with their OHs on this.

DH is fine, although there are times when you know that boats in a storm analogy .. well DH is in a different class of the boat and doing better upstairs insulated by being absorbed in his work. I've felt put of synch with friends, either too busy (genuinely) or more risk adverse. Particularly annoying in the summer when the going was far better and they weren't taking advantage of what could be done until right at the last minute.

That social disconnect and different values has been the hardest thing about all this. It's bad enough with the practical social disconnection without the fear or practicalities and damaging relationships over differences.

Hopefully things will feel calmer in the morning.

@anotherthink
this is definitely a safe place to have a rant.

It's really tough when you are of a different mindset to your partner. It doesn't sound, from your post, that you had any direct contact so I can't see what his issue is.

[quote Sonicthehedgehogg]@CarpeVitam ADs are a thread of people who needed a safe space to discuss/challenge/moan about Covid without being sneered at or shouted at. It's a mostly safe place for that. We have a very mixed bunch of views, so don't think that we're anti-vax, or anti Covid restrictions or have any one homogenous view for that matter. What IS important is that we can raise questions or opinions and that's just fine, we don't need to all have the same views to get on. In fact, I like these threads best when there is polite and respectful disagreement because it's in those differing opinions that we reflect on and challenge our own. [/quote]
@Sonicthehedgehogg Ok, thanks for that!

And we don't ever think it's ok to put cheese in our coffee

@SirSamuelVimes

And we don't ever think it's ok to put cheese in our coffee

Or birthday candles in a potato. Crisps on a bench are fine, as are seasonal purchases

Thank you, got second thoughts on whether I'd remembered the thread names rightly after I hit post

I don't know how to handle it tomorrow. I want Christmas Eve to be nice and atmosphere free for the kids. But I can't be bothered with smoothing things over as I can't bear to have the same conversation again and Im pretty pissed off that he is happy to jump to conclusions over what I have or haven't done.

He flew off the handle over me going 100 yards down the road in my brother's car on a really hot day in the summer. There was an extremely tired and hot whingy 3 year old involved who then fell over and was crying, and had been promised an ice cream so brother who was just leaving (from visiting outside) offered to drop us at corner shop rather than me deal with a tantrum to get her to walk there. So despite me enforcing an unnecessary outside visit I was a bastard for weighing the situation up and accepting the lift in a car with shock horror air con on. This was when indoor visits were allowed ffs.

It just makes me feel we're so incompatible. Like I've always thought I couldn't live with someone who has polar opposite views on something huge like brexit and I'm basically living through it now with covid.

Gosh that was another rant I'm really sorry but thank you for letting me sound off!

That is largely what we're here for!

I feel like I'm going to be here a lot now sir

I've just got back from the hospital after sitting with my dad as he died. He went into hospital 4 weeks ago with heart problems, caught Covid while in hospital and unfortunately couldn't fight any longer.

I've been a lurker/occasional poster on the AD threads right from the beginning, and they've been a constant source of comfort, as a nurse working with Covid patients among a lot of dementory staff.

What I do want to say is for everyone who claims every Covid patient will die a terrible, gasping death, it's not necessarily true. My dad slowly slipped away with his family by his side, no gasping or struggling. Just went to sleep. And really, I couldn't have asked for anything more.

@TooManyButtons Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your dad It’s good you were able to be with him and he had a peaceful death surrounded by those he loved and who loved him. My thoughts are with you and your family.

@TooManyButtons, I am sorry for your loss .

Toomanybuttons
Thinking of you This thread has kept me sane too. Thank you for what you said about EoL with covid xxx

Sorry for your loss. Hope you can take comfort in that he died peacefully with loved ones.

TooManyButtons so sorry for you and your family

Sorry to hear about your DF TooManyButtons, and thanks for posting. I sat with mine last year for a couple of weeks as he died of pneumonia, and it was the best type of death really you could hope for, it gave time to say goodbye and he didn't really seem to be in pain. I've wondered why covid would be different. Take care of yourself dealing with the shock in the coming weeks.

@TooManyButtons So Sorry for your loss. 

@Anotherthink Therin lies the problem of the wide amount of grey 'interpretation' that lies on either side of the rules. There have been arguments here too, although thankfully not many, due to differently interpreted rules.

@TooManyButtons So sorry about your dad, and condolences to you and your family.

@TooManyButtons I am sorry.

@TooManyButtons
I'm sorry for your loss

@Anotherthink
I'm out of sync with my DH. He seems quite scared of covid, I've got long term health issues and have been asked to shield but refuse to live life like that, I assess risk myself and carry on from there. I think so many people are unnecessarily scared of covid, and perhaps the healthier you are the more scared one is - vast generalisation, but for example DH is 40, runs a lot, no health conditions and slightly overweight- and is terrified.

Having said that, this news of the more contagious variant is scaring me a little, so ADs any kind of comfort you can give me is great. This thread literally saved my sanity in March; I remember being scared I was going to die and leave my kids without a mother. I now am much less scared having seen that this does not normally kill young healthy people, but the seed of fear is there now. I've been in ICU multiple times before but not since kids were born 6 years ago; I've never been scared before.

@Jourdain11
Good luck with the appointment today hope there are some results

Good luck today @Jourdain11 and @TooManyButtons

I am out of sync with DH as well. He is all doom and gloom and likes to be 'right' about his predictions for lockdown.

Every now and again I snap and tell him to keep his opinions to himself as I am fed up of him brining the mood down.

But he is and always has been a glass half empty person and catastrophises all the time. I find that very draining

I do often wonder if all these people wailing about covid deaths have ever actually experienced death? I nursed both my parents through cancer and the end was horrific. Particularly my mum, that left me with PTSD.

Also overheard two older ladies talking in a queue yesterday and one said to the other that "its sad that people have become so afraid of dying, we've all stopped living".

I wanted to hug her so badly as that sums up this whole mess for me.