Couple pay for elderly man's sandwich

[DailyPotion]

It's on my local FB group, that an elderly man was queuing to pay for a takeaway bacon sandwich but a young couple had already paid.

Cue loads of posts about how wonderful our community is.

My Dad would be devastated if someone did that for him, absolutely insulted and offended.

Would most people really be pleased?

I went to my local cafe the other day and a guy who runs a nearby shop, who I'm friendly with (he's friendly with all his customers; he's adorable), was getting his coffee. He insisted on buying me one. I wasn't offended; it was a lovely gesture.
It is 'pay it forward'. It's a nice thing.

The act itself is fine, the virtue signaling gets right on my tit ends each time it happens.

There’s a difference between the kindness of strangers and acts of charity to the needy. Being kind to strangers is what you do if you’re a nice human being. To be offended by that insults the humanity of us all. It has nothing to do with being old or poor, young or rich.

Devastation is an extreme reaction to this. He could have paid what he was planning to pay for sandwich and the next person could enjoy it!

Some people get quite insulted when labelled as "elderly". My parents were once referred to as elderly and were both fuming They're in their 70s and work full time so not particularly old.

I can absolutely understand why someone might be offended at this. It’s implying they look like they can’t afford it - so they look a bit down at heel maybe. Not a nice implication.

If someone paid for my sandwich I’d think I must look properly knackered and shit that day as they clearly felt sorry for me. It wouldn’t make me feel good.

If they want to do a random act of kindness, why not send some money to an old age support charity where it will go to those who definitely need the help and couldn’t cause offence.

Maybe they were in a good mood and wanted to pay for the person behind them and it just so happened to be an elderly chap.

I’ll take a free sandwich anytime thanks

@FlibbertyGiblets

How do you know how much to pay?

I want to know this too!

Not sure I'd offer unless the person actually appeared unable to pay, for whatever reason. Forgotten purse/couple of quid short or whatever. I've offered to buy homeless people food before now, some are grateful and some are most definitely not.

If it happened to me I'd feel really weird. I know I probably look like a withered old hag quite often but I'm not short of cash. How do you convey "I don't want or need your charity" without looking like a twat?

What if he wanted bacon and egg. Or a hash brown on the side or something, does he just pay the difference?

Devastated is a bit dramatic for a sandwich

@Bytheriogrande

What if he wanted bacon and egg. Or a hash brown on the side or something, does he just pay the difference?

It is odd that they had paid the correct amount for the person behind. Unless they said to the till "here's £2.95 for the next person ordering a bacon sarnie.

Why not just pay some money to an age support charity because you wouldn't get applauded for that. Obvs.

It’s not about charity. It’s just a act of kindness.

Your dad being devastated would be a ridiculous reaction. He could pay it forward.

It’s implying they look like they can’t afford it - so they look a bit down at heel maybe. Not a nice implication.

It doesn’t imply that at all. Some very twisted thinking on this thread.

@WankPuffins

My dad is heading towards 90 and is a tight git. He'd just be thrilled that he didn't have to pry open his wallet (not that he would buy a sandwich when he could make it cheaper at home).

Oh yes, my ex is just like this! Acts like he hasn’t got a halfpenny to his name etc etc but absolutely rolling in money! Like your Dad he wouldn’t buy something like a coffee or even a bottle of water and would be thrilled that someone was ‘ daft’ enough to throw their money around!! 😂 Putting the sandwich incident on Facebook takes the edge off the charitable intention.

Actually I sort of get the sentiment of being 'offended. My mum's side of the family is like this (well not so much now, but when I was a kid); if we went to stay with my sister or an auntie (or vice versa), when we left my mum would stick a fiver under the kettle or somewhere. The other person would post it back Sometimes it went on for quite a while until they'd probably spent more than the fiver in postage.
And into my adulthood (again, a little less in very recent times) if I took any food round to a gathering I'd get 'do you think we weren't going to have enough/couldn't afford enough?' Said in a jokey-kind-of way, but not entirely a joke.

I think it stems from them being really hard up in my mum's and auntie's youth but also having a sort of defensive pride in not needing or asking anything from anyone.

I loathe it when people feel the need to post about how ‘blessed’ they are to help others. I refuse to comment on those sorts of posts. I’ve done nice things before and either never mentioned it or mentioned it in passing literally years later.

@DailyPotion

TBF, I don't think it was the donor who put it on FB.

Dad would be really offended to think anyone believed he needed charity.

That’s your dad’s issue then.

It’s a nice pay-it-forward gesture.

There's a lot to be said for assuming people mean well and just saying thank you politely when someone does you a favour.
If nothing else, it may encourage them to do it again for someone else who really needs it, rather than thinking 'I could get that homeless guy a sandwich but then again, I got shouted at last time I tried that'.

@SpaceOp no it wasn't charity, but obviously op said her dad would be so offended because he'd assume it looked like he needed charity. That's what that post was about. I think it's a lovely gesture, and the person can accept it and pay it forward for the person behind them, accept it and just say thank you and leave or just insist that they'd rather pay for their own and chips to the pass the 'free' along to somebody else.

@chunkyrun

I think charity is a private affair, by all means do lovely deeds but I'd hate someone to splash it all over fb

100% agree with this. I've never understood why people feel the urge to plaster everything on social media for approval from people they most likely barely know (very anti-social media me! Sure they have lots of real friends but a lot of people do add random people too to get their friends list up in tally)

Also in my view, charity is a private affair so it kind of diminishes the act if you go around gloating or expecting praise.

And yes my parents/PIL would be mortified if someone else paid for them without them knowing, especially if they showed no problem in paying themselves (Ie. No faff looking for a card/change at the till).

I have read this thread and the only solid conclusion I have come to is that I NEED A BACON SANDWICH RIGHT NOW.

I’ve not once seen someone plaster their pay of forward act on FB. It’s always be the recipient or a relative/friend of the recipient. And OP said herself the people paying it forward didn’t post it on Facebook. The whole act of paying it forward is designed to be a way of giving subtlely.

@daisypond

It’s implying they look like they can’t afford it - so they look a bit down at heel maybe. Not a nice implication.

It doesn’t imply that at all. Some very twisted thinking on this thread.

It sort of implies that in this tale of events. Why else bang on about him being elderly if not to imply that he was in need/ struggling on a pension .

A lot of the younger SM generation also have odd ideas of what they class as "elderly", usually anyone over about 50.