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Please can someone advise? I'm desperate

86 replies

Loopylou6 · 17/12/2020 12:22

I have a total of about 11 pound that I have hidden. Just found out my husband has spent everything in our bank. I don't get another UC payment until 12th January.
What can I do, and who can I contact for help? I'm not a troll, anybody doubting me can ask MNHQ I've been here for absolute years.

OP posts:
Pringlemonster · 17/12/2020 15:38

Local church ,local food bank ,ask friends for a loan .

TowandaForever · 17/12/2020 15:39

It's not greedy to claim pip.

It's disgusting that people's vile attitude to people claiming benefits makes you feel this way.

crochetmonkey74 · 17/12/2020 15:43

Local church also a really good idea OP- My lovely late Mum used to volunteer at her local church and help families just like yours

Definitely apply for all the other stuff PPs have said too- although I know that won't come in instantly

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PlanDeRaccordement · 17/12/2020 15:46

Wishing you luck OP
Agree with others, it will take awhile but apply for PIP. Make sure it goes to separate account in your name. Even if you don’t need it usually, it can build up and be good savings in case of events like this.
It can also be used by you to help your DC.

You should still get Child Benefit for your DC while they are in 6th form. Check into that and have that also put in a separate account only in your name.

Second going to food bank. Also talk to Council/social services about your DH and his alcohol problem. You could ask about settIng into motion him going into an NHS rehab centre that way he’s not spending all your joint UC on alcohol.

LadyJaye · 17/12/2020 15:52

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you can find help by reaching out.

Do you have a local Mutual Aid group? I volunteer with my local group and, apart from volunteers, many have members who have professional knowledge and experience of working with people experiencing crises who can advise, especially locally. You can find your local group on Facebook.

Best of luck and a safe and hopefully happy Christmas to you and your daughter.

endofthelinefinally · 17/12/2020 16:15

I have heard of an organisation called turn2us.org.uk or maybe just .org. they help people in financial difficulty.

CurbsideProphet · 17/12/2020 16:27

@LoopyLou6 I'm sorry you're in this situation. All councils still have their Covid 19 hubs operational. If you Google your council and covid help then you should be able to find the number easily. The Borough councils in my large county council are delivering food parcels within a day.

peaceanddove · 17/12/2020 17:10

So sorry you're in such a predicament. I have a bundle of good quality clothes (most barely worn) that I'm just not going to get around to wearing, if I'm totally honest. I was going to donate them, but very happy to post them to you if you want to PM me your address x

Tyke2 · 17/12/2020 17:14

Im sure you can get an emergency loan from UC. I have a close relative who works there and she says that some people have a dozen !

Loopylou6 · 17/12/2020 18:05

Thank you all for your kind and caring words, there really are some good people out there.
I'm looking in to all your suggestions, I'm so grateful for the help and support X

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 17/12/2020 18:56

@Loopylou6 what size clothes are you?
I've a huge pile of clothes and other random bits heading to Charity.

Weirdly I may have a spare Christmas tree left over from a shoot. Not much use but cheering.

I'm six miles outside Chester and happy to drop off.

Please PM if interested.

Babyroobs · 17/12/2020 19:30

I was just reading another thread about food banks being inundated with donations so I would try to contact a local food bank. you may be able to get a Uc budgeting loan but would depend what your partner earned in the last 6 months so may be unlikely. Do you have child benefit coming in weekly?

RickOShay · 17/12/2020 19:40

So sorry to hear this. I would definitely contact your local food bank. They may be able to point you in the right direction. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and you deserve to claim your PIP.
Wishing you all the good things louby. Flowers

thelionessqueen · 17/12/2020 19:41

You could give British Red Cross a call too - they will help in a crisis too .

Thisisworsethananticpated · 17/12/2020 21:07

Id try every single suggestion here
School
Local Facebook pages
Food banks
A chap posted on our face saying he was embarrassed but money was very tight and he needed advice about food bank
He got a lot of support as his post was so nicely worded
I’m ever so sorry you are in this predicament OP

Thisisworsethananticpated · 17/12/2020 21:08

Where are you based?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 17/12/2020 21:09

Id also call
Women’s aid
This is financial abuse
And refuge might be an option for you

umpteennamechanges · 17/12/2020 21:19

Also try a free app called Olio where people give away food they don't need to stop it being thrown away.

400rabbits · 17/12/2020 21:41

OP someone else who would really encourage you to apply for PIP. I volunteer for an advice centre and I see so many people come in who have got into terrible situations because they are too ill or disabled to work, but put off applying for PIP because they think they're not bad enough, or all the stories they've seen in the papers about scroungers...it's awful

If you feel bad about applying, look at it like this- you can spend the money on a bit of security, which will improve your mental health. It will also be positive for your dd to not be worrying about money too

Embracelife · 17/12/2020 21:50

If dh is not doing anythung to help ask him to leave

HollowTalk · 17/12/2020 21:55

If he's spent everything in your bank account, then how will he have money to drink over Christmas?

CorianderQueen · 17/12/2020 21:59

Never feel shamed into not claiming what the state can provide. You deserve the help. This is exactly what I am happy for my taxes to pay for. You are not a burden, you're a person who needs a helping hand up. Take the hand where possible.

DianaT1969 · 17/12/2020 22:21

Have you checked his pockets and any places he might have hidden money? Staying with him is going to cost you until you get UC - as in any food you'll get - he'll eat too. Would he move out and live with family? Is your electric a key? Call them and explain that you can't pay until January. Do you think he's going to do anything to get money?

myhobbyisouting · 17/12/2020 23:28

I'd get rid of him. He is providing absolutely nothing and is going to cost you money.

Foodbank and any churches or the Salvation Army.

Sell anything you can to tide you over, bits of furniture often sell quickly or as it's Christmas do you own any Lemax villages, outdoor light etc....they get snapped up too. Your parents might have something you can sell?!

What size feet are you? I have boots and trainers I've hardly worn that we're going to charity. Also have clothes. If you PM me your address I can send them on.

Good luck

Zoflorabore · 18/12/2020 04:30

I’m over the water in Liverpool op but would be willing and able to help with food etc..

I have a ds in 6th form college, they have bursaries and funds for families in dire straits. Please contact everyone you can. There is absolutely no shame. Your not so “DH” has got you in this situation,sadly many women have been in this position before but there is always help out there somewhere.

Does your dd know what is going on?

I really feel for youFlowers