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Original poster

Please can someone advise? I'm desperate

86 replies

Loopylou6 · 17/12/2020 12:22

I have a total of about 11 pound that I have hidden. Just found out my husband has spent everything in our bank. I don't get another UC payment until 12th January.
What can I do, and who can I contact for help? I'm not a troll, anybody doubting me can ask MNHQ I've been here for absolute years.

OP posts:
ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 17/12/2020 13:44

I’d leave. Now. If necessary contact women’s aid as this is financial abuse. Or your local housing department (mine would rehouse you and your daughter today in these circumstances, albeit temporary accommodation and not perfect). Your local food bank, church or Salvation Army will be able to offer food parcels. In my area there are also community cafes offering free meals. You would need to make a new UC claim as a single person, but you could get an advance, and you wouldn’t need to worry about the money being stolen.

Dashel · 17/12/2020 13:44

There are local charities that will help with food parcels, some food banks need you to be referred by someone.

If you google food banks near where you live then you may at least be able to ask for food packages.

You definitely need to get away from him, could you ask him to leave so you and your dd can rebuild your lives? I would get him off the bank account or close the new account and open a new one? You need to get control of your finances, even if it means you have to keep all the banking stuff at your parents.

Have a look at money saving expert as they have some good ideas.

Moneuxly · 17/12/2020 13:45

@Loopylou6 do your own account, have UC paid into your account and then transfer it directly to another account (whatever portion you need)

However, I honestly would look into getting UC for just you and start preparing to leave if this is how he treats you too.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Benefits
Dinosaur19 · 17/12/2020 13:55

OP where in the UK are you? I’d be happy to help you if you’re local

mummymayhem18 · 17/12/2020 13:57

Sorry to hear that for you and your daughter. Definitely get out of there if you can as you say in the New Year . I hope you get something sorted like food bank etc. X

GinNotGym19 · 17/12/2020 14:02

There’s an app called too good to go, shops/restaurants sell left over in date stuff really cheaply.
Contact your local council if dh lost his job for COVID they might have grants etc.
Speak to cab/step change/pay plan for free advice. If you’re planning on leaving they can advise on what you’d be entitled to. Shelter can help with housing advice if you are looking to leave.
Open a new bank account he can’t access, so if you need to start a new single claim you have your own account to be paid into
Freeze joint account once you have a new account running so he can’t ring up debts on it.

UnbeatenMum · 17/12/2020 14:04

Try to get a foodbank referral today as they may not be open next week. In our area the food banks are doing Christmas food parcels as well, not the main meal but mince pies, cake etc.
For next month can you make sure your husband can't access the money? Or ask him to leave and close the joint account and let UC know your new account details. I suspect you would still get nearly as much UC without him on the claim if you get the child element and LCWRA element.

MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 17/12/2020 14:17

Hello everyone
We're getting reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circumstances, we're dropping by with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away.

But we always remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon. In the meantime, you might find some useful information on our guide for dealing with financial difficulty

frumpety · 17/12/2020 14:31

Where are you in the UK ? If we know where you are , we might be able to suggest local charities that could help ? Do you have a credit union locally to you , might be worth ringing and seeing if you could get a small affordable loan from them ?

Original poster
Loopylou6 · 17/12/2020 14:40

Gosh, I'm sorry people have felt the need to report me BlushSad I'm not asking for handouts, just advice and a hand hold.
I'm from a town near Chester, I can't seem to locate a salvation army locally, however there is a CAB I'm trying to call

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 17/12/2020 14:45

Your local authority may have a welfare rights section - they are brilliant at finding their way through the financial maze that is the benefits scheme and will also know about local resources in terms of practical help.

Jellycatspyjamas · 17/12/2020 14:47

A quick look shows Chester does have a welfare rights office - give them a call, they are literally set up for situations like this.

maxineputyourredshoeson · 17/12/2020 14:48

If your on a key meter for your electric contact the company, some will give you a top up to help until you have the money to be able to do so.

As your daughter gets FSM have the vouchers already been paid to you for the Christmas holidays? That should help get some food.

Speak to the school or your GP to get a food bank referral. In my local area there is a group that are delivering food parcels to local people to have little money, you can contact them anonymously - have a look and see if there is something like that in your area.

I’m so, so sorry this has happened OP Flowers

KVlovesWinter · 17/12/2020 14:49

If you are under Chester West and Chester council they are doing a winter grant scheme they have an online form to fill in. If not I think most councils are doing similar. Look on your local council website

MamaBearThius · 17/12/2020 14:49

OP what size clothes are you? I've been having a sort out and would love to send you some clothes if it'll help?

frumpety · 17/12/2020 14:55

There is a credit union in Chester , it is closed now but opens tomorrow at 9.30 ( 01244 399006) can't do any harm to contact them.

orangejuicer · 17/12/2020 14:57

Food bank OP. Don't be embarrassed.

frumpety · 17/12/2020 15:02

Does DH have anything he could sell ? phone, computer, tablet etc ? He is the reason you are in this mess !

Thesmellofolfbooks · 17/12/2020 15:09

Do you not claim PIPS or sick benefits OP as you should be if your mental health affects your ability to work.

Do you just need food or have you nothing at all as in presents? Really hope you find help but I would definitely look into PIPS and whatever the benefit is that sick people claim. Goodluck

crochetmonkey74 · 17/12/2020 15:15

OP definitely contact school- today if poss- tell them exactly what has happened- I work in a large secondary and as well as being able to give a food bank referral I know all the schools in my area have access to crisis funds- this may be in the form of food- or they may have other areas toi help to- we are helping 14 families currently- all of whom are in your predicament- please reach out to them today

Original poster
Loopylou6 · 17/12/2020 15:17

The smell, I recently started getting an extra component of UC because they've declared me unfit for work after a break to work assessment, I can't remember what its called now. I don't claim PIP, I haven't bothered because it feels a bit greedy, I'm already having to claim UC since he lost his job,I don't want to be a total burden to the state, especially in these times.
I have absolutely nothing for christmas, this is the very first time anything like this has happened to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopylou6 · 17/12/2020 15:20

Monkey, she's in a 6th form college, would that still work?

OP posts:
ItWasntMyFault · 17/12/2020 15:22

Are you in social housing?

If you are, contact your housing officer and they will be able to refer you to the food bank, local charities etc

crochetmonkey74 · 17/12/2020 15:33

@Loopylou6

Monkey, she's in a 6th form college, would that still work?
I would try- I would think so as we now support each young person until they are 19
TicTac80 · 17/12/2020 15:36

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you :( Some suggestions from me:
-Olio app ---> food is free on it. Well worth a look :)
-Warm Home Discount Scheme. Go to your gas/leccy provider's website and look this up. It's a quick form to fill in online, but it could give £140 towards gas/leccy this winter. Again, v much worth a look in.
-try phoning UC and seeing if they would be able to do anything re: an advance (this is an extenuating circumstance). I know you said that you'd already had a loan from them.
-apply for PIP. The worse that they can say is no, but it might make things more comfy for you/your daughter (make sure that this is NOT paid into the joint account!).
-LTB (easier said than done I know). Hopefully he could leave rather than you.

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