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Original poster

Who the fuck is this wine for?

126 replies

ApolloandDaphne · 15/12/2020 22:04

So we got some wine delivered today. I assumed it was a Christmas gift from BIL. Here is a picture of the message. The only thing that is slightly right is the name at the beginning but nothing else matches our family. Who sent us this? Give me your best guesses??

Who the fuck is this wine for?
OP posts:
PickAChew · 15/12/2020 23:39

Save it for new year. If no one claims it, you're good.

Grittlelayrabbit · 15/12/2020 23:42

Margaret and Tony live across the road. Margaret is a secretary at the hospital and Tony was a lorry driver until his back went, and now he does a bit of taxi driving. They’re nice. But I’ve lived opposite them for 15 years and have only ever had a Christmas card, even when their son Greg reversed into my brother’s car. Tight buggers.

Grittlelayrabbit · 15/12/2020 23:43

They also have my spare extension cable from when they did a little garden party for Greg’s daughter. I’ll mention the wine when I ask about the extension cord. Thanks for reminding me.

Grobagsforever · 15/12/2020 23:45

Pls make sure this thread gets an ending OP!

VodrangeLime · 15/12/2020 23:52

Stop wineing and drink up

CatchTheCulprit · 15/12/2020 23:59

I am more relieved that someone identified 'the hole in the floor' rather than who sent the wine - I couldn't work out what it was!! Seriously though don't leave us hanging - tell us when you find out who Margaret and Tony are..............

saraclara · 16/12/2020 00:04

I googled Viola Scott. Surprisingly there are quite a few of them.

Though of course she might have kept her maiden name.

FlamedToACrisp · 16/12/2020 00:10

The wine is obviously poisoned, and the cryptic note is to confuse the issue as to whether you and DH were the intended victims or it's a mistake.

Who benefits from your/DH's untimely demise?

Oh, btw, Merry Christmas... Grin

Toilenstripes · 16/12/2020 00:11

Tony and Margaret are the names of two characters in the Crown? Was it a joke about that?

SilverBirchWithout · 16/12/2020 00:48

I think Mammy is working abroad at a orphanage in Bulgaria and has been unable to get back to the Uk because of Covid. It’s short for Marina and she’s Viola’s daughter from her first marriage.
Scott and Viola’s marriage is bigamous, no one knows except Tony and Margaret - they send 2 bottles of wine every year. They are the same wines that were served at Viola’s first wedding. Scott doesn’t know believing Viola’s marriage was annulled.
Mammy is in Bulgaria trying to find her half-sister, if she does Viola’s secret will be revealed.

parsnipinapeartree · 16/12/2020 00:58

Scott will be spending Christmas alone with his baby DD Viola as Mammy is in hospital with Covid, Margaret and Tony are Mammy's parents but are isolating back in Ireland so won't be coming over to make a Christmas bubble, especially if Mammy can't be there. Scott is miserable as the three of them should have been living in Oz near his parents in Sydney by now but covid meant they couldn't get afford a flight when lockdown was looming. It's been a shit year for him, he's not coping so well with the nappies and working from home etc and the nanny is useless. Careful with drinking Scott's wine. He's close to breaking point.

cheesemongery · 16/12/2020 01:16

Wow, beats the christmas card I have here addressed to somebody in Norwich.

I'm a good 100 miles west of Norwich, but the name of my town begins with N - so that's something.

Your husband is secretly married to a viola. Could have been a cello I suppose, but very outing.

SilverBirchWithout · 16/12/2020 01:16

Or maybe it was Mammy who was the bigamist, she’s coming to the end of her prison sentence and will be freed in the middle of January. Scott is her adult son, but has been looking after his teenage sister whilst Mammy is inside.
Margaret and Tony are the police officers who put her away, and have been keeping an eye on her children. They regularly send inappropriate gifts.

FlamedToACrisp · 16/12/2020 01:20

@cheesemongery

Wow, beats the christmas card I have here addressed to somebody in Norwich.

I'm a good 100 miles west of Norwich, but the name of my town begins with N - so that's something.

Your husband is secretly married to a viola. Could have been a cello I suppose, but very outing.

Or is he just on the fiddle?
tuttifuckinfruity · 16/12/2020 01:27

@SilverBirchWithout

Or maybe it was Mammy who was the bigamist, she’s coming to the end of her prison sentence and will be freed in the middle of January. Scott is her adult son, but has been looking after his teenage sister whilst Mammy is inside. Margaret and Tony are the police officers who put her away, and have been keeping an eye on her children. They regularly send inappropriate gifts.
Love this Grin

Realistically, if they are such a rush the mistyped Scott but printed it anyway and didn't notice, they also probably made an arse of putting it with the right delivery.

I do prefer the suggestion above though.

efes · 16/12/2020 01:40

I hope there are no sour grapes when you get to the bottom of this serious matter.

custardbear · 16/12/2020 06:38

So I read about this in the night when I couldn't sleep, I went back to sleep and had a dream about this, so it's all solved now -

Margaret owns a dog called Tony, your husband and Margaret are dog walking friends and you have a dog called Viola that you're getting for Christmas (sorry to ruin the surprise)
you're welcome, please come again,
Detective Cuatardbear 🕵️‍♂️

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 16/12/2020 08:20

@custardbear

So I read about this in the night when I couldn't sleep, I went back to sleep and had a dream about this, so it's all solved now -

Margaret owns a dog called Tony, your husband and Margaret are dog walking friends and you have a dog called Viola that you're getting for Christmas (sorry to ruin the surprise)
you're welcome, please come again,
Detective Cuatardbear 🕵️‍♂️

Thanks for solving this in the night @custardbear. I am looking forward to meeting my new dog. I'm not sure how much my current dog is going to like it though. She isn't the sharing sort!
OP posts:
Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 16/12/2020 08:25

I've just read back all the posts from during the night. Do you guys not sleep? All on best, highly amusing, MN form I see.

You might wait while for an update as this relies on my DH messaging his DB to ask. My best guess is he will get round to it on Saturday. He is less intrigued by this than I am/we are.

OP posts:
chocolatepowder · 16/12/2020 09:18

Why does no one send me wine??!

Audreyseyebrows · 16/12/2020 09:27

All will be resolved when mammy gets home. Maybe the ghost of Christmas past?

Change your name to Viola and keep the wine.

Diverseduvet · 16/12/2020 09:33

Your address is niche? Really?😅

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 16/12/2020 09:56

@Diverseduvet

Your address is niche? Really?😅
Yeah I know how wanky that sounds. I would be rolling my eyes too if i read that. But it genuinely is.
OP posts:
user1495884620 · 16/12/2020 10:05

@Diverseduvet

Your address is niche? Really?😅
I'm imagining it is something like Mad Sadie's Cottage, and the only house on Scraggets Drove so not something where a number or wrong town name could have got easily confused like 73 Station Road.

(Apologies if I have outed you OP.)

RockinDobbin · 16/12/2020 11:38

I've just realised the most obvious answer for who the wine is for. Obviously it's for Alice.
I know you have a niche address, but you may not realise that she lives door, and has done for 24 years.

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