Life crisis - about to complete on a flat. Should I pull out?

[waytheleaveswork]

I lived and worked in the city centre for 8 years until I left my ex H. Moved back in with my parents a 45 minute commute away from work.

Have saved up for a year to buy my own flat in the same town as my parents as can't afford a place in the city.

About to sign contracts but having a major freak out. Suddenly realised I want a bit more fun city living (am 32) before I settle down.

Am sociable but is it total insanity to rent in a house share instead of buying my own flat?

Feeling so lost. WWYD? Have worked so hard for this freedom and don't want to mess it up.

SORRY! Wrong thread! I was trying to post on something different. Sorry, didn't mean to gatecrash. Sorry, I'm bwing a bit slow, but getting better x

Take a breath...there is no right or wrong decision, no magic right answer. Whichever decision you make you will make work and will be ok. So breathe and take the pressure off this. Going ahead with the purchase doesn't mean you are condemned to living in the commuter town...as others have said you can purchase and still have options to consider - you can move in, see how you like it and then choose to rent the place out while you rent yourself place in the big city and live that life for a while. Or you can choose to never move in and get it rented out straight away. Or you can move in, see how you like it and realise it is where you want to be. This isn't a decision that closes doors for you, it still leaves plenty open x

@BobISMyUncle

SORRY! Wrong thread! I was trying to post on something different. Sorry, didn't mean to gatecrash. Sorry, I'm bwing a bit slow, but getting better x

I loved your post, if the naked cinema was near the op's possible flat that might sway it

@waytheleaveswork

It's a 45 min bus ride. 10 miles out of the city.

It'll be 600 mortgage per month, same as renting a nice room in the centre

Yes but presumably you'll be paying down a mortgage and will own it eventually, and you'll have a whole flat, not a room in a houseshare. Owning means you have the freedom to go travelling for a year (not right now though ), while renting out your home and coming back to it. Honestly, you'll regret not buying it more.

This sounds like anxiety talking to me, rather than an actual issue. So the flat:

1. is walking distance to close friends and family
2. 10 miles from the city centre
3. 45 mins on the bus
4. costs the same as renting a room (but you will be paying off a mortgage so actually you'll getsome of the cost back when you sell)

Presumably you liked the flat when you offered on it? Is this because you haven't been into it for a while so it feels weird? Maybe you should ask for a "measuring up" viewing so you can have another look?

Personally I think you will regret this when the anxiety subsides as it sounds like a panic decision. And agree with PP - its not like a marriage, its a flat, you can sell it if it doesn't work out.

@BobISMyUncle

SORRY! Wrong thread! I was trying to post on something different. Sorry, didn't mean to gatecrash. Sorry, I'm bwing a bit slow, but getting better x

Brilliant reply though!! I'm very intrigued! 🤣

Get a big piece of paper. Draw 2 columns. Write all of the reasons for buying the flat in one column and all the reasons against buying in the other column. Everything. Even the silly things. Be honest about your feelings. Your decision may become clearer in black and white. One list may be full of silly reasons or unrealistic things or just natural worries. Your list may highlight the real crux of the issue and the things you should really be thinking about. Then get someone to look at your reasons with you and critically analyse your list. Someone who is unbiased, knows you well and has your best interests at heart ... that may be your parents or your friend although they may have their own reasons for persuading you in one way or the other. Good luck whatever you decide. And don't be rushed into signing next week if you are not ready to commit. Take a couple of days over Christmas to make sure you are happy with your decision.

The reasons for buying are all head - financial security, getting on the property ladder, decent transport links.

Wanting to pull out is heart - I love the city centre. I work there, feel more at home there. But I can never afford to live in the decent bits so I'd still be commuting 20-30 minutes to work.

'security' is a head and a heart thing imo.

Is there no option to buy a flat closer to the city but not in it? An easier commute for work and nights out?

People saying buy it and rent out, it's not that straightforward. You can't buy on a residential mortgage and rent out.

I think that's your answer. You want what you cannot afford. At 32 you really need to be looking towards your future investment. If you were mid twenties I think it would be a different story. I would buy and rent purely for investment purposes.

Given what you've said... I'd buy the flat. You want to live in the city but cannot afford to live where you would like. It's a goal. Buy, keep saving and plan a move for later.

You've said you're too old and you're too young. You need to get your head straight and decide and stick to it, not mess people about. I'd buy the flat. A 25 mortgage taken now will run until you're 57, how much later do you want to leave it?

OMG buy the flat! Unless your parents are minted AND very generous, and willing to help you out in future - which I think not, because you're fairly limited now.

Absolutely YES to paying down the mortgage and taking advantage of the stamp duty holiday. If your repayments are £600 pcm, then you'll be paying off what - £250 - £300 off the capital - every month!! Could you rent AND save that?

For the next 3-6 months you're not going to be able to 'live the city life' as before anyway.

Think of it as a two-year plan. Buy the flat. Make peace with yourself. Pay down that mortgage. Go on ALL the nights out / cafe stops etc., and get a taxi home if you need to.

THEN decide what to do. After 2 years you'll have £6k+ equity in the property, plus its increase in value. So you can swap to a BTL mortgage, or buy a place in town, or something else! Be realistic, you're on your own now, be your own best friend in life.

And spend lots of time with your family and friend while you can.

Definitely but the flat - 45 min commute is nothing.

*buy

Buy the flat. It will appreciate in value. Savings won’t get any interest. You might want to be young and carefree now, but you won’t want to be renting a room and sharing with others in ten years time.

But that flat. You can’t go out at the moment anyway (depending where you are).
I loved living on my own. I had a little cat. I commuted the same as you, but allowed longer as it was motorway driving.
It’s the best decision I ever made was to buy a house.
Roll with it. You can always rent it out later on down the line.

The difference in commute is only 10-20 mins so for that reason alone I would go for the flat.

I agree with the PP that said see it as a 2 year plan - you are not tied in to this flat for the rest of your life. It’s been a tough year and everyone needs a bit of headspace. Buy the flat and settle your mind for a while. It will be fine. You can get a flat mate, or rent the flat out and rent a place in the city, or you might realise that the commute isn’t too that bad after all.

I completely understand your reasons for wanting the city, and am not trying to dismiss them, I just think you’d be throwing money away on renting when you could be putting it into a mortgage in a better property than one you could rent.

If it helps OP, I've bought twice, and both times have been convinced on moving in day that I had made a terrible mistake. Cried, panicked, etc. All bollocks, it was just my nerves. It's a big commitment so it's understandable that you're having a wobble. Talk to your mum and dad but honestly I would go ahead any buy it. My biggest regrets are the things I didn't do. If you don't like it, sell it next year! Nothing is set in stone.

What city are we talking about? I’d initially assumed you meant London.

Bristol.

This is a very personal decision. If you can give yourself some time and space, you'll know in your gut what's right for your life.

Speaking purely personally, if it was me, I'd pull out, find a cheap-as-possible rental much closer to where I wanted to be, and spend the next couple of years hammering more money into savings and also aiming to increase my income. Even if I couldn't be right in the middle of where I wanted to be after that, I would stand a chance of being closer. 45 minutes isn't outlandishly far out, but it's a consideration when you're out with friends, or on a date, or just fancying a bit of late-night culture. (I have a personal rule that if I can't get home from the centre of London in a cab in 30 minutes, it's too far. But again -- that's just me.)

But then I have different ideas about what constitutes 'security' than a lot of people. (And I don't have kids, which affects this considerably.) I was over 40 when I got my first mortgage. Security is a mutable concept anyway; I'm self-employed but for various reasons I think my situation is a lot more stable than a lot of people who are salaried employees these days.

Very personal viewpoint from me there, though.

God id never share with strangers these days. Im 34 and my days of house shares are long behind me. Wouldnt you much rather your own place? And not having to put up with others peoples stuff and way of living?

100% buy the flat. You're 32. You have a job. You will always have bills. You'll either have a mortgage or rent. You'll always have responsibilities, so that aspect of your argument is a tad ridiculous.

You can still nip to the cafe before/after/during work when free (depending on your job of course). You can still have nights out, just stay at a friends house or a Premier Inn or something for those nights.

I actually think you're idealising city living a little bit.

Buy it, get a lodger. Use the lodger money to rent a weekday-only room in the city and live there, doing the cafe/nightlife thing (once covid ends), and come back to the suburbs at the weekend to chill, see friends from home and parents.