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Original poster

Life crisis - about to complete on a flat. Should I pull out?

110 replies

waytheleaveswork · 15/12/2020 20:41

I lived and worked in the city centre for 8 years until I left my ex H. Moved back in with my parents a 45 minute commute away from work.

Have saved up for a year to buy my own flat in the same town as my parents as can't afford a place in the city.

About to sign contracts but having a major freak out. Suddenly realised I want a bit more fun city living (am 32) before I settle down.

Am sociable but is it total insanity to rent in a house share instead of buying my own flat?

Feeling so lost. WWYD? Have worked so hard for this freedom and don't want to mess it up.

OP posts:
NeedToKnow101 · 16/12/2020 06:52

Please buy the flat. It's just fear and 'buyers remorse.' You can go to the city for nights out. I didn't 'buy the flat' once when aged 33 and it impacted on me financially for years.
Renting is so expensive and insecure, just buy.

inquietant · 16/12/2020 06:53

I recognise the feeling! I had a lot of angst over an engagement. I made the right decision in the end.

Some people are more prone to worry over decisions.

I have learnt how to make decisions in the right way for me - but listening to other people saying 'do x' or 'do y' isn't part of the process! They are not you.

midnightstar66 · 16/12/2020 06:57

Renting property is not lucrative now so that wants investigation with financial advice due to the tax implications and the extra obligations.

It doesn't need to be lucrative though - this isn't a business venture. Only needs to cover costs in the long run.

pinktophat · 16/12/2020 06:57

I don't think this is the right property for you. It doesn't sound like you actually like it. I would say continue to INTEND to buy but don't buy this particular place as you don't like it. It's not true that it's normal to buy somewhere you don't like. Yes, owning way more preferable than renting. But own somewhere you like.

Please bear in mind city living is nothing like it has been during covid times and you'd feel way lonelier there without your support circle as life is so restricted. You'd be better near best friend and family in the short term for sure.

Best of luck.

letsnotscaretheneighbours · 16/12/2020 06:58

@waytheleaveswork I think you need to talk it through with your parents. That is sensible. I bought my first place at 21. I've still remained a complete idiot young and free whilst owning a property. Mainly because it was cheaper than rent and I could afford to pay the taxis.

Norwester · 16/12/2020 07:00

You are not messing up! You are single and 32 years old, yet in a position to buy your own home. You're doing great.

This is a good problem to be having. Smile

Norwester · 16/12/2020 07:04

Talk to your best mate! Lovely that you could live near a good friend.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 07:08

I bought the wrong house and married the wrong man last time. So there's a lot toes up in this.

I feel like such a failure. I don't want to get this wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 07:08

*tied

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 16/12/2020 07:09

I would say buy the flat, goodness knows when life will get back to normal, a way off yet. Your own home will give you something to focus on, and of course you can still have nights out in the city when it’s possible. You may regret it if you don’t. It’s just a wobble.

letsnotscaretheneighbours · 16/12/2020 07:10

@waytheleaveswork I've married the wrong man twice! You're not a failure. Stop beating yourself up. Take a deep breath. Tell your parents and best friend how you feel. Talk it through with people who know and love you. Whatever you decide it'll be fine.

NerrSnerr · 16/12/2020 07:13

I would buy the flat. Stay with friends or a travellodge in the city.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 07:15

It's about general city living though. Meeting new people in house shares. Popping into cafes on my way home from work. That kind of thing. Being able to cycle to work.

OP posts:
inquietant · 16/12/2020 07:16

@midnightstar66

Renting property is not lucrative now so that wants investigation with financial advice due to the tax implications and the extra obligations.

It doesn't need to be lucrative though - this isn't a business venture. Only needs to cover costs in the long run.

Yes indeed - and it doesn't sometimes in year one. So it needs investigation with a financial adviser and different mortgage product potentially.

However by a rental and renting may be a good option.

inquietant · 16/12/2020 07:16

By a = buying a

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 07:17

But I'm running out if time. I have to sign the contract next week.

OP posts:
inquietant · 16/12/2020 07:18

@waytheleaveswork

But I'm running out if time. I have to sign the contract next week.
Then speak to your friend today.
MinesAPintOfTea · 16/12/2020 07:21

Can you pop into cafes enjoyably for the next year though? Are you currently wfh, and liable to spend the next year working in your bedroom (so that second bedroom looks fantastic) or are you going to be commuting in every day regardless?

It’s only the flat for now, not a marriage. You can sell it later.

ohgetoveryourself · 16/12/2020 07:25

I’m voting but and rent it out as well. You get security and freedom.

SciFiScream · 16/12/2020 07:29

I have a 7 minute train journey into town but it's a 45 minute cycle.

What is your 45 minutes based on? You might be quicker cycling. How FAR is it?

How much is the mortgage going to be?

How much would rent be?

Another vote here for buy the house. Imagine the freedom of being mortgage free in your 50s!

Branleuse · 16/12/2020 07:32

45 mins is close enough to get into london easily. Is there nothing to do where you are supposed to be buying though? I mean, im 45 mins from london and its a large town in itself. Its not like everything outside london is the suburbs

BobISMyUncle · 16/12/2020 07:39

Where I live, we have a little locally owned cinema. We get some major films, about once a month. Not always. A bit hit and miss.
The best thing ever, is that on a Wednesday, it's Naked Night!
Bring your own towel. I kid you not. I have always wanted to lurk. LOL! I try to be a professional lurking person. Towels are to sit on, I've safely established that. OH! And we don't have seats in a row. No. We have comfy armchairs and tables. And well weird naked bloody farmers in their amazingly horrific glory. Honestly, if I was a turkey, I'd be scared for the pidgeons. Bring your own towel indeed. I'm not sure what scares me more. Turkeys or pidgeons.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 07:41

It's a 45 min bus ride. 10 miles out of the city.

It'll be 600 mortgage per month, same as renting a nice room in the centre

OP posts:
letsnotscaretheneighbours · 16/12/2020 07:41

@waytheleaveswork I think you've made your mind up and want validation. You're an adult. If you want to pull out of the purchase, pull out. You'll lose some money because you'll have to pay the solicitors for the work they've done already. Ultimately its your decision.

Woolysock · 16/12/2020 07:42

You're overthinking things, the shit time will pass and you'll be grateful of having the security of your own place, it's the sensible thing to do. Like many pp have said you can always rent it out and rent that room in a house share in the city centre.

Like you say;
Have worked so hard for this freedom and don't want to mess it up.

Buying a flat isn't messing up your freedom, sounds like a case of cold feet, hopefully your parents can reassure you as it seems us strangers aren't helping! Your life your decision at the end of the day.