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Original poster

Life crisis - about to complete on a flat. Should I pull out?

110 replies

waytheleaveswork · 15/12/2020 20:41

I lived and worked in the city centre for 8 years until I left my ex H. Moved back in with my parents a 45 minute commute away from work.

Have saved up for a year to buy my own flat in the same town as my parents as can't afford a place in the city.

About to sign contracts but having a major freak out. Suddenly realised I want a bit more fun city living (am 32) before I settle down.

Am sociable but is it total insanity to rent in a house share instead of buying my own flat?

Feeling so lost. WWYD? Have worked so hard for this freedom and don't want to mess it up.

OP posts:
sakura06 · 16/12/2020 06:10

Buy the flat. Won't you lose your deposit if you pull out? I'm sure that's a lot of money!

TeddyBeans · 16/12/2020 06:12

Buy the flat. I'm 30 and stuck in a rented flat with no savings behind me. Don't fall into that trap!

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 06:16

No I haven't exchanged yet.

I know I'm really lucky to be able to afford to buy. I'm really scared something's not right though.

OP posts:
IHeartNiles · 16/12/2020 06:17

It’s a no brainer. Buy the flat. Savings will not rise at the same rate as property. You can’t afford to buy in the city. You might decide to settle there and a 45 min commute is not bad. If you don’t feel ready to settle down yet just rent it out and then rent a place in the city. One of the best things I ever did was buy my first house in my mid 20s.

inquietant · 16/12/2020 06:22

@waytheleaveswork

No I haven't exchanged yet.

I know I'm really lucky to be able to afford to buy. I'm really scared something's not right though.

Can you speak to someone helpful, a counsellor.

Most people on this forum will tell you to do it.

But you need to feel it is the right thing for you, not for them.

Nothing in life is really a 'no brainer' because people are different.

I'm not saying you shouldn't buy it - I'm saying you need to feel whatever you do is right for you.

ukgift2016 · 16/12/2020 06:22

You are 32 years old, on the cusp of owning your own home. Don't throw it away!

This is coming from a 31 year old who just brought her own home. Grow up, your not in your 20s anymore.

Clymene · 16/12/2020 06:23

Always get on the property ladder if you can. I didn't want to particularly live where my first flat was but I sold it some years later for a profit and when I was earning more and could afford to move to where I wanted to live.

Norwester · 16/12/2020 06:24

If you are going to lose money that you cannot afford to lose by pulling out, then it is too late to be having this conversation with yourself. Buy the flat - it can be rented or resold later if you decide to move.

If you can pull out and preserve your house-buying money, then pull out. This assumes that you can rent in the city without touching your savings.

And you are not too old to crave some excitement. You are also not too old to plan for stability.

midnightstar66 · 16/12/2020 06:25

Buy it, rent it out for a year if you still feel the same once it's all through . Depending where you are city life is not was it usually is though. Here you can only go out to eat til 6pm and you cannot buy alcohol - who knows when that's going to change.

Theworkwitch · 16/12/2020 06:27

Buy the flat. You don't have to live in it.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 06:29

I can't cope with the stress of this decision right now. I can't see straight.

OP posts:
Dinosauraddict · 16/12/2020 06:29

Buy the flat. You can rent it out if you hate it. 45 mins is nothing for a commute. I'd get yourself on the ladder while you can. You've done well to be able to save and afford this on your own, you accept you can't afford the city centre location you'd like, so cut your cloth accordingly.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 06:30

This is my last chance to be young and carefree in the city.

OP posts:
lifestooshort123 · 16/12/2020 06:32

I don't think you'd regret buying it as getting on the housing ladder is a great achievement if you see home ownership as the way to go. Presumably it is the right flat for you (or you wouldn't have got this far?) and it's a sudden attack of nerves. Sit down with someone whose opinion you value and go through the pros and cons with your head not your heart and you will get the answer. Do it quickly because if you pull out you might be spoiling someone else's dreams.

ukgift2016 · 16/12/2020 06:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MinesAPintOfTea · 16/12/2020 06:35

With some risk-based caveats, what you but, you can sell. You can buy it, and if in 6 months you want to move, put it on the market again. In that time you will have had space from living with your parents and not been beholden to a landlord.

It is not a lifelong commitment.

Norwester · 16/12/2020 06:36

This is my last chance to be young and carefree in the city.

It's not. And you won't be carefree. You'll be worried about buying a home.

Let's back up. Why did you choose this flat? Do you like it? Do you like the location on its own merits?

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 06:37

I thought it was the right thing to do a few months ago.

I'm having a really shit time generally at the moment and this feels like the wrong time to be buying something.

Thanks for your advice. I just feel such dread.

OP posts:
Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 06:39

It has two bedrooms, close to the main town. But it's a boring commuter town. Walking distance to my family, best mate, swimming pool and decent shops.

I could afford a tiny studio in a less nice part of the city.

OP posts:
iano · 16/12/2020 06:43

Last chance to be young Grin You sound a right drama lama.
Buy the flat and rent it out if you're so intent on being 'young'. Tbh you'd be a right idiot to not buy it in exchange for living in a flat share in your 30s.

Pringlemonster · 16/12/2020 06:45

100% buy your flat ..45 mins commute is nothing,my dh ended up doing a two hour commute

Ginandplatonic · 16/12/2020 06:46

OP based on your responses here it sounds like you have already basically decided. So pull out if the thought of buying is making you this stressed - it’s not worth it. But don’t just fritter your deposit away on rent and nights out. You’re single with no commitments, why not look to buy the “tiny studio in the less nice part of the city”?

inquietant · 16/12/2020 06:46

I think you need to talk this through with someone who can support you and understand where you are coming from.

There is no point listing attributes because what matters is how you feel and what you think.

The flat sounds good on paper. But life isn't paper. But also agree with the person above - this is not a lifelong house - people sell or move.

inquietant · 16/12/2020 06:48

Renting property is not lucrative now so that wants investigation with financial advice due to the tax implications and the extra obligations.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 16/12/2020 06:49

Thank you. I'm in such a panic. I'll talk it through with my parents tonight.

I've messed up so much in my life and I don't want to do it again.

OP posts: