Bad Gift? Do I say anything?

[PinkYellowTinsel]

My husband is usually last minute with regards to gifts but made an effort this year and had bought all his family's gifts (and mine) and they're wrapped under the tree.

I'm awful for opening gifts early (have done since I was a child) and it almost feels like a tradition for me (opening gifts and wrapping them back up) I know many will have something to say about this.. but please don't. My family know this, and often laughed about.

My issue is I've opened his gift and he's got me a less expensive version of a jewellery item I already have. I splurged on this item to wear on our wedding, and as much as I love the item I have I don't wear it often (unless I'm going out). I don't want to say specifics because it's 'outing' but it's the EXACT same thing, but less expensive. Note, it isn't just less expensive gold earrings, it's an exact same style of something.

Do I say now that I wish he'd return it? I know it's ungrateful but he alternative is that I won't ever use it, I barely wear the more expensive 'version'.

It's super strange because he knows I have this jewellery item, so unsure why he's bought it?! I know it's coming from a good place, and I know he thinks I'll love it..

So unsure whether or not to say anything?

Maybe he thinks you don’t wear the expensive item because you’re afraid of losing it and his intention was to buy you an everyday version

Maybe he thinks that you don’t wear the other one because it’s expensive, and therefore might like a cheaper immitatuon to wear more regularly?

I’m sure many would say they would tell him to return but personally I couldn’t and would act happy and try to wear it a few times.

Why don’t you wear the expensive thing very often? If it is because it’s very expensive, then surely having a cheaper version makes sense?

I realise there could be other reasons.

No, you shouldn't say anything. You shouldn't have opened it. He probably knows you love the original, and wants you to have this version to wear everyday.

Anything other than a pleased 'thank you' will make you look bad here, imo.

X post several!

Either he's bought a less expensive version for every day wear or knows you'll open it and it's a fake present.

I don't wear the more expensive 'version' because it's a necklace. It isn't that I don't love it (I absolutely do, and it isn't mega fancy) but I don't wear necklaces.

I only got it for the wedding because of the wedding dress style.. it 'needed' a necklace due to the cut of the dress.

Made an effort doesn't mean he got it right or put any thought into it.

I'd be honest...on Christmas Day when you're meant to open it.

@Thehogfatherstolemycurry

That's a great suggestion. However, it's absolutely my present it's around £100 so not a 'buffer' gift.

That's why I want to say something £100 is a substantial amount for something I won't really wear.. or wear a few times to seem as if I'm happy.

I know it sounds ungrateful, and I'm not. It's just I have the exact same necklace from a more expensive brand.

Wear the expensive one on Christmas Day.

Why do you think he got it? You must have an idea.

On a side note, don’t save nice things for best, enjoy them now.

If you liked it enough to wear on your wedding day and he's got you a more reasonably priced on you can wear every day I don't see how this is a bad gift and think if you say something you look ungrateful and also like a child for opening it early!

You’re an adult, just wait until you’re given a gift and accept it with grace.

I would just start to wear the expensive one every day!

Well you kind of got what you deserved for opening it early didn't you, disappointment. Either have the good grace to wait until Christmas Day to say something, or risk come across like even more of a spoilt brat than you already do 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does your husband know you do this?

how do you know its for you?

@rottiemum88 I would have been disappointed if I opened it on Christmas Day.. it isn't the opening it early which makes me dislike the gift.

To those who suggested that he got me a less expensive version so I can wear it day to day.. that would make sense, but I don't wear the more expensive version because I don't wear necklaces. I only got it because the cut of the dress (I don't usually wear this cut in shirts etc) which is why I don't wear it.

I've admitted I've opened the gift and explained why I'd prefer he returned it. I'd rather he kept the money than pretend to like something I won't wear. Instead, I've picked another jewellery item that I would wear.

Thanks for those who offered helpful advice!

@Onadifferentuniverse Yes, notoriously knownz

@thebabessavedme it had my name on the gift tag.

You might as well just buy your own present next year.

I wondered if he bought it as a distraction gift?
Did he give you any reasoning behind the purchase?

Have a bit of a 'clear out' and find a way of refering to the necklaceyou already own and 'what a waste it is you don't wear as you don't wear necklaces any more'. Or some other subtle way of bringing to his attention!

I’m intrigued, why can’t you stop yourself opening presents? Genuine question.

@Whatpaint I don't have a good 'poker' face and if I'm disappointed in a gift it shows. Therefore, as a child/ adolescent I liked to know what I'm getting before so I could 'arrange my face' if necessary.

Then, it just stuck. I usually pick my own gifts (from my mum etc) to avoid the whole thing but my DH likes to surprise me.