Bad Gift? Do I say anything?

[PinkYellowTinsel]

My husband is usually last minute with regards to gifts but made an effort this year and had bought all his family's gifts (and mine) and they're wrapped under the tree.

I'm awful for opening gifts early (have done since I was a child) and it almost feels like a tradition for me (opening gifts and wrapping them back up) I know many will have something to say about this.. but please don't. My family know this, and often laughed about.

My issue is I've opened his gift and he's got me a less expensive version of a jewellery item I already have. I splurged on this item to wear on our wedding, and as much as I love the item I have I don't wear it often (unless I'm going out). I don't want to say specifics because it's 'outing' but it's the EXACT same thing, but less expensive. Note, it isn't just less expensive gold earrings, it's an exact same style of something.

Do I say now that I wish he'd return it? I know it's ungrateful but he alternative is that I won't ever use it, I barely wear the more expensive 'version'.

It's super strange because he knows I have this jewellery item, so unsure why he's bought it?! I know it's coming from a good place, and I know he thinks I'll love it..

So unsure whether or not to say anything?

I just can't get over the fact that you open your presents, sorry.

I always have a necklace on but I don’t take it off to shower; or sleep. I rarely take it off... that’d be a total faff.

I also have the same present problem as you, it makes me so anxious knowing people are watching me, but I couldn’t disappoint people by opening them ahead of time... I’ve got a lot better at it. My husband really likes to surprise me and it was important to me that he got that enjoyment too... just incase you’d like to not have to look. If you’re happy with your coping mechanism, and he’s happy to swap the gift, you’re all good.

I know it’s sorted now, but I would have mentioned the more expensive version and said hmm I might sell it as I don’t ever wear a necklace and aren’t that bothered to start - then he wouldn’t have known you looked!

Dp once bought me a pair of earrings for Christmas which were almost identical to a pair I already owned (and wore regularly) - they were the same type of metal and had the same animal on them. I think he must have seen them in the shop and thought 'hmmm that looks like something that peaked would wear' without making the connection that I actually did wear them all of the time

I love buying people presents and I would be really hurt if they slyly opened them and rewrapped them to make sure they were okay.

I wonder if your DH chose something you already own and don't wear just to see if you opened it and told him to return it.

@Ellmau

Wear the expensive one on Christmas Day.

This!

I don’t really get your justification for opening presents. You don’t need to know what a gift is to prepare your face just pick a grateful face on Christmas Day, assume you’ll hate what you’ve got and use your ready prepared face. It’s what grown ups do you’re not a child anymore. You’re either very fussy or your family are terrible gift buyers if hiding your disappointment is a regular problem.

Presentzilla

If you were in my family, I think it would become a challenge... I would wrap your presents like pass the parcel, with sweets and little gifts between all the layers so you couldn't unwrap them without my knowing! And I'd only put them under the tree at the last minute. Or I'd set up a treasure hunt for you to find your hidden gift!

I'd be honest - he'll probably know by your reaction anyway. But you should really stop opening presents early, you're an adult not a kid anymore.

If there was someone in the family who had form for opening and rewrapping presents I would keep the presents at work or something.

@emilyfrost

If I knew you did this I wouldn’t be laughing about it, I just wouldn’t be buying you anything ever again.

Saying anything would be rude and ungrateful. Shame on you.

Absolutely this.

Feel a bit sorry for him to be honest. I'd be very put out if DH opened my gifts to him early and then told me he didn't like it either. Bit fucking rude.