What would you think about this 9 year old child if I told you the following?

[Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese]

Favourite type of humour is slapstick.
Doesn't really understand irony or subtle humour.
Quite routine driven but copes with change
Love and are excellent at maths and building stuff
Perfectionist, very hard on themselves. Has very occasionally hit themselves in the head, cried and said they are stupid.
Sometimes unsure how to be in a social situation or what to say and can come across as rude, also used to be very shy
Quite sensory about certain fabrics, loud noises, certain foods.
Amazing memory
Very sporty, excellent at almost all sports
Has friends and well liked in their class and makes their friends laugh.
Can make eye contact
Can be very chatty but likes to talk about things that are of interest to them
Gets engrossed and slightly fixated on things.
Struggles to talk about feelings, emotions, struggles to express an opinion.
Hates losing but this is much improved!

Would you think this child might be on the autistic spectrum?
The autistic type behaviours are generally very mild.
If these do sound autistic what should be done about it? Nothing presents a problem, just his little quirks!

Oh, and re: tantrumming. My youngest was the sunniest, smiliest, most contented baby and toddler ever. Had his moments aged 2-3, like any toddler, but he is the easiest going child ever, apart from not being able to cope with losing board games.

My middle child was the stressiest baby imaginable. Total Velcro baby - couldn’t be put down, was startled by the tiniest thing and always upset. She was a horror for tantrums to the outside world, but actually, they weren’t tantrums at all. They were meltdowns, and happened because she was overwhelmed. As she got older, her meltdowns evolved, and now most people wouldn’t realise she was having one - she is now very quiet and if anything shows at all it’s a quiet tear or two, but she’s still experiencing the full meltdown (just hates showing it and looking ‘different’ so now reacts differently)

You’ve just described my boy to a T - waiting for an autism assessment! I know it’s not referred to as Asperger now, rather high functioning autism which is what I think he has! Xx

“The DSM-5 Manual defines autism spectrum disorder as “persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these “limit and impair everyday functioning”. “ from National autistic society

I have an autistic child, who I could describe very similarly to yours. But his traits impair his every day functioning. It’s not obvious to anyone who doesn’t know him well (which many people seem to confuse with being “mildly affected”), but definitely as his parents we notice. Nothing you’ve said so far suggests your child meets that threshold, but if you are concerned then do see what school thinks.

He sounds very bright. Austism would have never crossed my mind.

@Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese

Favourite type of humour is slapstick. Doesn't really understand irony or subtle humour. Quite routine driven but copes with change Love and are excellent at maths and building stuff Perfectionist, very hard on themselves. Has very occasionally hit themselves in the head, cried and said they are stupid. Sometimes unsure how to be in a social situation or what to say and can come across as rude, also used to be very shy Quite sensory about certain fabrics, loud noises, certain foods. Amazing memory Very sporty, excellent at almost all sports Has friends and well liked in their class and makes their friends laugh. Can make eye contact Can be very chatty but likes to talk about things that are of interest to them Gets engrossed and slightly fixated on things. Struggles to talk about feelings, emotions, struggles to express an opinion. Hates losing but this is much improved!

Would you think this child might be on the autistic spectrum?
The autistic type behaviours are generally very mild.
If these do sound autistic what should be done about it? Nothing presents a problem, just his little quirks!

No I'd not think that.

Very few 9 yr olds understand irony (and few adults too.)

Your list shows a normal 9 yr old possibly on the verge of puberty (if a girl) but could apply to a boy too.

*autism

@ElfDragon

Oh, and re: tantrumming. My youngest was the sunniest, smiliest, most contented baby and toddler ever. Had his moments aged 2-3, like any toddler, but he is the easiest going child ever, apart from not being able to cope with losing board games.

My middle child was the stressiest baby imaginable. Total Velcro baby - couldn’t be put down, was startled by the tiniest thing and always upset. She was a horror for tantrums to the outside world, but actually, they weren’t tantrums at all. They were meltdowns, and happened because she was overwhelmed. As she got older, her meltdowns evolved, and now most people wouldn’t realise she was having one - she is now very quiet and if anything shows at all it’s a quiet tear or two, but she’s still experiencing the full meltdown (just hates showing it and looking ‘different’ so now reacts differently)

Yes the tantrumming comment was also in response to the same poster. Am trying to respond to individual comments, not making any generalisations!

@MrsMiaWallis

He sounds very bright. Austism would have never crossed my mind.

Some of the brightest children I ever taught and the highest academic achievers were autistic. Now as a university lecturer it’s clear that many of my Professor colleagues are also HFA.

'Mild autism'
'Slightly on the spectrum'
'Aren't we all on the spectrum'

Dear god. So bloody offensive.

He sounds identical to my dd at 9. She is not autistic. That's all I can base a random diagnosis of someone on the Internet on.

Why on earth would you think he was autistic?

Most autistic behaviour is normal behaviour it just lasts longer and is more intense.
Not the case.

He sounds very bright. Austism would have never crossed my mind

I didn't mean that autistic people can't be bright. I meant that the Ops ds sounded bright and not autistic.

Retired Autism Specialist here. If an Ed Psych rang me with your description I’d be asking why they were calling. He sounds like a neurotypical young man.
We haven’t used the triad for some years because as someone up thread said we (I’m Autistic) are as diverse as the allistic (neurotypical) community.

Reminds me of myself at that age. Have largely grown out of it.

Actually reading it back through I don’t think I have grown out of much of that! I’m not autistic though.

@Gilead that’s interesting, can you explain?

Has friends and well liked in their class and makes their friends laugh

I’d think he has parents who are very proud of him.

To me as an asd professional I do read potential red flags. Autism is a spectrum condition so no one child is the same. He sounds like he could be considered what was previously diagnosed as Aspergers or High Functioning Autism. Or as others have said, just a bright, highly sensitive child. There’s often some crossover but all of those characteristics you have listed could well be significant asd pointers. Only a diagnostic assessment will give you the definitive answers. I just want you to know that you’re not crazy to have considered this! We still have so much to learn as a society about asd...

Sounds normal
Only concern is hitting head and saying he is stupid
Liaise with the school for those problems

Haven’t RTFT but depends on the sex of the child. Autism in boys presents very differently to autism in girls..

Can those describing themselves as “ASD professionals” or “autism specialists” explain what they mean by that. I haven’t heard these descriptors before. (Not trying to be rude)

Sounds like a normal, quirky, amazing and very intelligent little 9 year old. Not many 9 year olds understand subtle humour/irony. I’ve studied autism a lot during my course and the descriptions wouldn’t raise any red flags. However, you wouldn’t diagnose autism through a very brief description! If you have concerns then go to a doctor and be transferred to a specialist! It could be that your child is quite intelligent but isn’t emotionally intelligent yet (hence rudeness) or there may be issues. Even an educational/ clinical psychologist couldn’t make a determination with such little information!

@NotTerfNorCis

He's popular, can make people laugh, makes eye contact, and excels at sport (physical coordination) so I'm guessing it's personality, not autism.

DS is autistic and can also make people laugh and make eye contact. The only time he doesn't look you in the eye is for photos - for some reason he always looks to the side. He is also co-ordinated and quite sporty, it's a sweeping generalism to think that ASD kids are all one thing or another!

We are all on the spectrum somewhere - only when the levels of certain behaviours reach a certain point do you get the label, but I would suspect from what OP says that her DS has a mild level of high functioning autism (Aspergers). Self blame and hitting his head are classic symptoms, as are sensory issues. Although you can have all these things in isolation without reaching the threshold.

If none are causing him any problems, either socially or at school, then I shouldn't worry. We all have our quirks......

...by the way, I used to hit my head a lot as a child and went on to self harm as a teen. I’d nip it in the bit now and offer alternative ways for him to express such overwhelming emotion. E.g. Alone time with music in a dark room, alone time with drawing (or tailored to I individual interest), 1-1 time with you to talk in a quiet room, etc.

5zeds sure. I’m currently a Deputy Head in an asd residential school. Worked for 24 years in asd services.