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Original poster

What would you think about this 9 year old child if I told you the following?

94 replies

Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese · 11/12/2020 21:31

Favourite type of humour is slapstick.
Doesn't really understand irony or subtle humour.
Quite routine driven but copes with change
Love and are excellent at maths and building stuff
Perfectionist, very hard on themselves. Has very occasionally hit themselves in the head, cried and said they are stupid.
Sometimes unsure how to be in a social situation or what to say and can come across as rude, also used to be very shy
Quite sensory about certain fabrics, loud noises, certain foods.
Amazing memory
Very sporty, excellent at almost all sports
Has friends and well liked in their class and makes their friends laugh.
Can make eye contact
Can be very chatty but likes to talk about things that are of interest to them
Gets engrossed and slightly fixated on things.
Struggles to talk about feelings, emotions, struggles to express an opinion.
Hates losing but this is much improved!

Would you think this child might be on the autistic spectrum?
The autistic type behaviours are generally very mild.
If these do sound autistic what should be done about it? Nothing presents a problem, just his little quirks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese · 11/12/2020 21:48

Just reading back I never actually said "mildly autistic".

OP posts:
HappyChristmasTreeRex · 11/12/2020 21:49

Sounds like me as a child, except the sporty bit. Normal I'd say, but I'm no expert.

SionnachRua · 11/12/2020 21:49

No sorry I dont know what you mean?
How would I contact my SENCO? What is a SENCO?

I'm saying that while he might have a few traits that sometimes appear in kids with ASD, looking at it as a whole picture doesn't necessarily raise red flags for me. Some kids are just like that.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

9 year olds
SionnachRua · 11/12/2020 21:51

@Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese

Just reading back I never actually said "mildly autistic".
Are you still referring to my comment here? I was the one who said mildly autistic - the "I feel mildly autistic isn't a great phrase" comment was adding on to my prior post.
ShowOfHands · 11/12/2020 21:52

What do school say?

Impossible to say if he could be on the spectrum and you'd need supporting evidence from school or a GP to access assessment unless you went privately. Round here you're looking at a 3yr wait on average for assessment once the child is referred.

Diagnosis is always useful for a child, particularly before high school transition but nothing you've said makes me think he's definitely displaying signs of an autism spectrum condition. He could be a shy, sensitive, bright 9 year old. I have one and he's exactly as you describe minus the sporty bit. No ASD at all, just sensitive.

Original poster
Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese · 11/12/2020 21:55

SionnachRua sorry my apologies not sure where or who said it. I was just really worried about saying the wrong thing and offending someone.

OP posts:
SionnachRua · 11/12/2020 21:59

@Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese

SionnachRua sorry my apologies not sure where or who said it. I was just really worried about saying the wrong thing and offending someone.
Ah no worries! The joys of communicating over the internet, eh? Especially hard on MN with no edit button Smile
cdtaylornats · 11/12/2020 21:59

Hating losing is not a bad thing if it expresses itself as doing better next time.

Theotherrudolph · 11/12/2020 22:01

Senco is special needs coordinator at school - every school has a teacher who has this responsibility and if you want to pursue it I’d start with a conversation with them.

Porridgeoat · 11/12/2020 22:01

Autism varies massively. For one or two people with Autism who can’t make eye contact, there will be five or six who can.

In fact that goes for all the traits mentioned.

myneighboursarerude · 11/12/2020 22:04

Sounds like me as a child.

Flies through school and most educational settings. Cannot maintain facade at home and prefers to isolate and be very solitary. Prone to tantrums at quite an old age.

On waiting list for autism referral, been unofficially diagnosed with adhd. None of it has prevented me from living a full and well rounded life.

Please don’t worry about him. If you have concerns, raise them with a go.

infinitediamonds · 11/12/2020 22:06

I think my son has autistic traits, however as he has other issues that are more easily diagnosable - developmental co-ordination and sensory issues, I have left trying to get any sort of assessment for AS as we are having to pay for everything privately. The possible AS doesn't impact him enough at school for any additional support so a diagnosis wouldn't benefit him at the moment. If you have the money, then pay for a private assessment. If not, its not something you will ever know for certain one way or the other, so why worry.

NameChange84 · 11/12/2020 22:11

I used to teach children and adults with SEN for many years.

He sounds like a typical neurotypical 9 year old who just needs education and guidance to me. I wouldn’t assume this post referred to an autistic child in all honesty. Just an average 9 year old. Boys and Girls do communicate and behave very differently in terms of their communication styles for the most part so comparing him to his sister probably isn’t all that useful. Even siblings of the same sex can be hugely different in manner and temperament!

SausagePourHomme · 11/12/2020 22:12

It is pointless asking this on chat... most people on who have not been though SEN diagnosis process have no idea what autism is or how it presents and i see the usual myths on here. If you have cause for concern, speak to the senco at school or your gp and ask to be put forward for assessment.

NameChange84 · 11/12/2020 22:12

However, I’d agree if you were concerned to contact the SENDCO and ask for their opinion and if they agree with your concerns, pursue diagnosis.

Original poster
Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese · 11/12/2020 22:13

Thank you all so much. This really has been very helpful and interesting.
He likes to be with us rather than being on his own and doesnt tantrum.
You are right about comparing him to his sister, I shouldnt!

OP posts:
mrwalkensir · 11/12/2020 22:15

maybe mildly adhd - just be there when he wants to talk. Sounds rather lovely

ElfDragon · 11/12/2020 22:18

I’m not sure why you mention liking being with you rather than on his own, but if it is because you think that maybe people with ASD are loners or don’t like company, then this isn’t necessarily true. My eldest dc (severe ASD) is the most sociable person I know. Loves being with people, loves meeting new people. Middle child (also ASD) hates being on her own. Youngest (also ASD) is the life and soul of any group, but does also need time to recharge. Prefers being with me rather than in another room as loves to still sit on me for a hug.

Original poster
Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese · 11/12/2020 22:19

@mrwalkensir

maybe mildly adhd - just be there when he wants to talk. Sounds rather lovely
He is!
OP posts:
Original poster
Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese · 11/12/2020 22:21

@ElfDragon

I’m not sure why you mention liking being with you rather than on his own, but if it is because you think that maybe people with ASD are loners or don’t like company, then this isn’t necessarily true. My eldest dc (severe ASD) is the most sociable person I know. Loves being with people, loves meeting new people. Middle child (also ASD) hates being on her own. Youngest (also ASD) is the life and soul of any group, but does also need time to recharge. Prefers being with me rather than in another room as loves to still sit on me for a hug.
That was in response to myneighboursarerude who said about liking being on her own.

I have a friend who's child has diagnosed with ASD and he's hugely affectionate.

OP posts:
5zeds · 11/12/2020 22:21

Most autistic behaviour is normal behaviour it just lasts longer and is more intense. So things your average two year old learns to cope with by five an autistic child might still struggle with at 10 or 15 or forever. Your list sounds usual for a nine year old boy.

NoProblem123 · 11/12/2020 22:22

Typical 9 year old tbh.
Aren’t we all on the autistic spectrum?

Poppinjay · 11/12/2020 22:22

14 of the lines of the list in your OP describe my DD2 who was diagnosed with ASD aged 7.

A diagnosis of ASD is only appropriate if the difficulties have a significant negative impact on the person's ability to lead a normal everyday life.

Is there support you think your DS needs that he can't get without a diagnosis?

Grandfather · 11/12/2020 22:23

My DGS Cody wont wear socks Hates sunlight Is so straightforward its comical Im trying to teach him its ok to be different but we all have to conform in some way (lockdown beginning he wanted a McDonalds my Daughter told him they were not open so she would cook He just opened his arms and said "OMG were all going to die" (Not far wrong my daughters cooking is abysmal ) My point is he is growing into himself Dont try to tell him how to be him just nurture and watch the flower grow

NameChange84 · 11/12/2020 22:23

@ElfDragon

I’m not sure why you mention liking being with you rather than on his own, but if it is because you think that maybe people with ASD are loners or don’t like company, then this isn’t necessarily true. My eldest dc (severe ASD) is the most sociable person I know. Loves being with people, loves meeting new people. Middle child (also ASD) hates being on her own. Youngest (also ASD) is the life and soul of any group, but does also need time to recharge. Prefers being with me rather than in another room as loves to still sit on me for a hug.
I think it was a response to a pp who mentioned being solitary as a child and now being assessed for autism. Not any stereotyping!