Nativity performance disappointment

[FruHagen]

Due to COVID restrictions it was not possible to go in person to see my sons nativity play. This is the first play any of my children have been in so I was looking forward to it... instead it was filmed.

So we watched it tonight and my son who is 8 was the worst performer in the play. He seemed to be quite happy but he didn't use the microphone and held a shepherds hook in front of his face the whole time.

All the other kids were like stage school kids with strong confident performances. So I was quite upset and disappointed and blamed myself for not practicing enough with him.

Can anyone relate or care to share their own nativity dissatisfaction.

I had obviously thought it was going to be a magical experience that I would cherish forever

Did your son enjoy himself?

Seemed to yes

Sounds like a normal nativity to me.

Whenever my DCs have a moment in things like that, or being presented with a certificate in family assembly, you could lay money on the key moment being drowned out by a squalling infant.

My eldest always looks like a rabbit in the headlights. He looks forward to it and tries really hard but you can tell when it comes to the performance it’s just not really his thing. He feels overwhelmed by all the people and worried about speaking. It’s ok! He’s a good boy, he’s happy at school, he’s got friends and he’s doing well, he’s just not a performer, not everyone is, it’s fine.

Sounds usual, except normally you cant even see your kid as the PTA and the women who have been queuing since 8am (despite clear instructions from the school not to) fill at least the first 3 rows.

Sounds normal to me. I'm a veteran of over 30 nativities as a teacher. Someone always gets stage fright, bursts into tears when they see their mum or dad, vomits on the angel in front of them (only happened once), wets themselves (Mary) or decides to go off script and add their own interpretation. You learn to expect the unexpected but as long as they enjoy it that's what it's all about.

Aww bless, hopefully there will be other times. My son was "Joseph" one year and sat in stunned silence the whole time, looking glum. He's a scaredy cat at the best of times and I was delighted he had a leading role and thought it might do him good, but sadly he wasn't to be the sparkling star I hoped he might be.

Sounds like a standard nativity to me. I didn’t practice with any of mine - the school did, so don’t beat yourself up

If your ds enjoyed himself that's all that matters - the best children's performance I have always thought is the one where it goes wrong & you have frantic teacher trying to make it work (my favourite was a May pole dance =it was hysterical!) Sorry teachers!
I was sitting next to a friend watching our d nursery age children nativity -her little one spent the time investigating their nose!
Just smile & enjoy

I was born to be stage school mum....but my children fail to perform with anything like the enthusiasm required....a bit of embarrassed singing, good speaking voices though, but can be a bit uncomfortable on stage. But....they enjoy the school shows....to a degree.....enjoy the change in routine more than anything.

Not everyone is great at everything. And that is ok. He might not have enjoyed it if you tried to coach him.

If it's any consolation, in a few years you will probably love that story and you can tell you child when they are a teenager and laugh about it.

He’s eight. You’re lucky he wasn’t picking his nose with one hand and scratching his nether regions with the other.
It’s a nativity not Billy Elliot.

My first nativity I was Mary (only girl with dark hair). It seems that Joseph and I didn't agree on parenting methods so when the curtain went up I was thumping him with baby Jesus. My mum was mortified although dad found it hilarious. In my defence I was 4 and I'm fairly sure he used to pull my hair a lot.

Last year ds (4) was a donkey. He spent most of the time with his tail between his legs twirling it.

Definitely some children are more comfortable doing it but if he enjoyed it regardless that's all that matters?

Oh all these have really made me laugh.

I'm also not a confident stage type performer so he's unfortunately inherited that from me. Not that it matters but these nativities are really hyped up as magical parenting moments of teary eyed wonder.

Bet you are viewing the others selectively, it's just that you notice your own more. Don't compare him!

@Halfeatentoast

Aww bless, hopefully there will be other times. My son was "Joseph" one year and sat in stunned silence the whole time, looking glum. He's a scaredy cat at the best of times and I was delighted he had a leading role and thought it might do him good, but sadly he wasn't to be the sparkling star I hoped he might be.

To be fair if my wife was having someone else’s child and we’re stuck in a barn I won’t be too happy either.

My Ds was desperate to be the donkey, despite nursery wanting him to be something with a speaking part. He was so excited, apparently all through rehearsals as he moved around the stage he was Making clip-clopping Noises and asking ‘are we nearly there yet’ shrek style. On the day, he sat there,picking his toes and looking so disinterested in the whole thing. When it was done, he announced that he was bored of the whole thing- I guess they had rehearsed so much he was fed up of listening to it.

I remember DS's first nativity fondly. He was in nursery and was playing an angel. He sobbed all the way through and wouldn't let go of the nursery worker. All our photos of him are snotty and tearstained. He has improved and even did drama for A Level

Once I told my son to read slowly and clearly after he was a little to fast in practice at home - the following day in the school church service he read very slow (too slow) and clear! I just let him get on with it now!

Oh and when I was at school the Star of Bethlehem fainted early on in the show and had to sit the rest out. I'd say you got off lightly.

I can see why you are disappointed as you build up the excitement for these things if you are keen on them but I think it is often like this. When my DD was in her first nativity, she was 4 and was an angel, she has an ethereal beauty so she really looked the part but she was incredibly anxious and didn't like people looking at her so she cried quite loudly throughout the whole thing. The shepherd was comforting her with his arm around her shoulder but she wasn't comforted. It felt like everyone was wondering why she was crying. Particularly, if they were trying to hear their own child. I have to admit I just wanted to hole her so they could get on with it without her loud sobs and judgemental looks.

My son's last nativity one of the kids in his class fell asleep right there on the stage. The Head just sort of squeezed himself next to her so she was able to lean against him rather than fall forward and just joined in the singing. It was brilliant

I'm sure your son enjoyed it, and that's the main thing.

@thatwentbadly

My son was a shepherd, along with his friend. Unfortunately they only had one sheep between them and spent most of the performance wrestling each other for it which culminated in the friend falling off the stage.

My DD was a natural on stage as was I as a child. she, and i , were always in school productions. Honestley, it means nothing. it's just the way we were/are.

It means nothing at all. We were both trainers in our working lives,because we were both suited to it. Oddly enough we are both introverts, in the Myers/Briggs sense. We recharge our batteries by being alone.

Don't put any store by what happened. BEvause, what did? Your child enjoyed themselves. That's what matters