Nativity performance disappointment

[FruHagen]

Due to COVID restrictions it was not possible to go in person to see my sons nativity play. This is the first play any of my children have been in so I was looking forward to it... instead it was filmed.

So we watched it tonight and my son who is 8 was the worst performer in the play. He seemed to be quite happy but he didn't use the microphone and held a shepherds hook in front of his face the whole time.

All the other kids were like stage school kids with strong confident performances. So I was quite upset and disappointed and blamed myself for not practicing enough with him.

Can anyone relate or care to share their own nativity dissatisfaction.

I had obviously thought it was going to be a magical experience that I would cherish forever

Not Nativity, but I remember having to take part in an end of year performance as a teen & I was terrified!

I do wonder what the point of forcing kids to do it who really don't want to.

I remember in one of my dc's years there was a lad who wanted to be involved but couldn't face seeing the audience. He did the reception one lying on the floor with his hands over his eyes, and the year 1 one curled up in a ball. He said his lines beautifully clearly and loud though so we could all hear them.

When ds was in year R they suggested the shepherds (played by all the younger boys) took sheep to carry. He didn't. He took his toy dog. When I watched, there were no soft toys in attendance.
Apparently in the dress rehearsal the shepherds discovered that thumping each other over the heads with the toys was preferable to sitting still...

And the junior school plays, which were cast to give around 10% big speaking parts to the children, the others sat around in uniform singing a couple of songs, normally you were faced with around 140 bored faces-then one would yawn, and they all would. It was quite funny, even when one of yours had a main part. I don't think the majority enjoy it, then you get the bingo with the headmaster's speech. "Brilliant" "Amazing" "Excellent" "Can you believe it?" The year he said they were good enough to be on the West End was the finish of me... although tbf to him he was repeating what people had said to him.

Although they tried one year giving each child a line. Thankfully not my dc's year, but I've heard many reports of it from weary parents:

So it went:
Child A with microphone "Thank you for coming to class 3's assembly".
Pause for 2 minutes while microphone is passed along 150 children, some of whom think it's a good idea to investigate it on the way past to Child B.
"We are going to tell you the nativity story."
Pass microphone back to Child C who's sitting 2 along from Child A...
I believe it took 2.5 hours for all 150 of them to say their line-and the microphone gave up after around 60, but they continued methodically passing it round as they'd been told.

I was an angel when I was tiny and spent the whole nativity pulling hay out of the manger and feeding it to the cardboard donkey.

I am still salty, but not surprised, that I was never Mary :(

Yep , my son ( shepherd ) was wrestling too
So proud

My DS was the only theatrical one after I taught him how to project his voice he's 4 and it was hilarious

I have three DC in school and the eldest is in year 6 so I’ve seen many, many Christmas performances at this stage and they’re honestly all pretty dire . You stand and smile and clap in the right places but they’re never actually any good. The best one was a couple of years ago when they did a Christmas through the ages one and had kids dressed up in different costumes from lots of different eras. They sang a Christmas song from each era too, it was super creative and I actually enjoyed it. The classic nativities when they’re in KS1 are never very good but I wouldn’t expect them to be, they’re only 4/5/6 after all...

I have a recording of my eldest daughters first nativity (at pre-school, so 4, she's now 15) She was the star who led the kings to Mary and Joseph. She walks right up to the front of the stage, cups her hands to her mouth, and shouts her toddler sisters name She spends the rest of the time popping her head out every so often, saying Hiya really loudly and enthusiastically waving whilst calling her name. Everyone was very amused. Its one of my favourite things in the world, never fails to make me smile. In fact, I'm going to go watch it now ❤

My son is youngest in year.. I'm reception was the donkey... It was hot so he sat there widely yawning.. Got bored of that so started picking his nose... Studying it and then eating it....
... He stole the show.
.... The shame 🙈

See you all remember the nativity your little ones were in. You will remember them all your life if everything had gone to plan on the day it wouldn’t have been so memorable. Happy days.

Nativity plays are always terrible. You have to go into it expecting that! My mum was a primary teacher so lived the nativity hell every year.

Awww - we do a nursery nativity every year and all the bloopers in the practice runs are amazing and often hilarious but on the day they usually do amazingly well and always do something unexpected. The child with the biggest part and the strongest performance throughout the whole rehearsal period is always the one to cry or refuse to leave their parent lol.

For me it's the bits that don't go to plan that make the nativity plays magical. Both the ones my children have been in and the ones our nursery children do always bring a tear of pride to my eyes on performance day.

Mum of 4 now grown up kids and what felt at the time like never ending Christmas plays etc. Always a loud one, always a quiet one, one who looked like a rabbit in the headlights, one who was distracted and one that fidgets constantly, usually one in tears and one more than one occasion one who fainted or who vomited. One year more than half were absent due to a vomiting bug. It is all part of a parenting experience. My children now 23-30 still remenis about theirs. I watched my DGS via zoom yesterday and it was hilarious, he was obviously not interested and very distracted.

As a comparison, her next public performance, aged 6 at a dance show, she stood in one spot the entire performance and played with a loose thread on her clothes. 😆

Aw OP it is hard when you hope they will be brilliant and it doesn’t quite work out like that

If it makes you feel better, I had the opposite experience. My DD had a big role in the nativity one year. She was amazing, totally had the teary proud parent feeling. Hall went silent, etc. Wasn’t just me who thought she was good. It was incredible. After that nativity she declared she had not enjoyed any of it at all, hated being the centre of attention (despite loving it in daily life ) would no longer be joining the choir and would never be trying out for a leading role again. Desperately wish I had videoed it as she stuck to her word and has been in the background for every performance since .

Mary in the Sunday school nativity suffered some very late stage morning sickness after I’d overindulged at two parties the previous day 🤢

Not nativity but my DD's first school stage performance (age 3) - singing songs with her class on stage. She was mad that she wasn't allowed to stand next to the boy she liked so out of 20 kids on stage in a row - she not only refused to sing, but deliberately turned around and turned her back on the audience for the whole performance.

Cue pitying and amused looks from the other parents. So embarrased - it still makes me a little hot faced when I think about it!

Memories of my own primary school nativity where Joseph sobbed ‘I don’t want to wear a dress.... dad! Dad!!! They made me wear a dress’ throughout.

If your son is shy/quiet he did well to do it at all. You should praise him and say you loved watching him.

All the stage school kids will have their own issues, I'm sure.

I bet your son is a lovely boy.

Told dd to make sure she sang loudly and clearly. She fairly screamed all the songs. Other children were covering their ears.

Final tableau in the Infant Nativity.
120 Reception - Y2 children packed on and around the stage for the final song.
Not a mm space on stage.
Except...
As the song reached a climax, shepherds, Mary and stable animals in the centre began edging away and squashing still closer together, leaving a clear space around a single, miserable king.
The king who couldn't hold on till the end of the song to go to the loo, and who couldn't think how he could get off the stage.
With the exception of the king, all the other children kept singing lustily while openly glaring at the king as drips fell from the edge of the stage.
The parents could all see the scene unfold, but the teachers and TAs were all standing at the sides, having marshalled alll the groups of children onstage.
Poor mite.

My son once walked off the stage and left the play half way through. Then to make matters worse because he was upset we had to leave to walking out in front of people 😭😱😂 he does have autism admittedly and obviously got too much (no one bat an eyelid)

What were you saying about strong confident performances? Anyway, here’s one I really enjoyed

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ihQuiyV-lXU

When Dd was in Reception one girl spent the entire performance with her hand stuffed down the front of her knickers. Unfortunately she was sitting down on the front of the stage, which was at eye level. Her mum was sat a few chairs down from me and could be heard hissing “ x stop it!” At regular intervals

They are really over rated. There are never enough seats, the parent that brings the entire extended family full a whole row and leave people to stand. The person with the screaming toddler doesn't want to miss anything so doesn't take them out and watch from the cafeteria side, despite the headteacher doing the exact same speech at the start of every play/assembly/performance about how they can still see and won't disburb the show and could small children sit on the end of the row to evacuate if they kick off. One kid finds it too much and spends the whole thing crying on the TAs lap.

Last year the new TA had the job of playing the music from a laptop that fed into the speakers. It wouldn't work. He tried for a minute, turning red, then turned to the teacher who was standing on a table behind the audience holding up prompt cards to the class.
'it's not working'
The teacher replied 'have you pushed play?' the whole audience was laughing at this poor guy who looked mortified.

He then found the songs on YouTube, and we had to listen to several adverts.