Nativity performance disappointment

[FruHagen]

Due to COVID restrictions it was not possible to go in person to see my sons nativity play. This is the first play any of my children have been in so I was looking forward to it... instead it was filmed.

So we watched it tonight and my son who is 8 was the worst performer in the play. He seemed to be quite happy but he didn't use the microphone and held a shepherds hook in front of his face the whole time.

All the other kids were like stage school kids with strong confident performances. So I was quite upset and disappointed and blamed myself for not practicing enough with him.

Can anyone relate or care to share their own nativity dissatisfaction.

I had obviously thought it was going to be a magical experience that I would cherish forever

Sounds normal to me. Not every child is a natural actor and he won't have been the only one. As long as he enjoyed himself, why worry?

I always felt it was a relief if they got to the end of the play without vomiting, falling off stage, or any of the other things listed on the last 5 pages.
Nowadays, I suspect it is a relief if they just never get to be one of the little angels that have been filmed and then do the rounds every Christmas as the sheep that fought Mary over the baby Jesus / did their own weird dance to Come all Y Faithful / sang loud and flat over all other / etc on social media.

As a total aside, how has he got to be 8 without ever having done a Nativity before ????

I love nativity plays. Dc2 spent most of his first one on my lap and then in the 2nd one he thumped the donkey round the head for taking his toy sheep.

I remember in year 1 I had a massive tantrum because the teacher said I couldn't be a mermaid because I wasn't blonde. I had to be a girl from Hawaii and wear a grass skirt. 33 years later I still have the photo of me as the only dark haired mermaid surrounded by blonde girls.

DD turned down being Mary because she didn't like the kid chosen as Joseph.
Teacher and I couldn't persuade her.
Still a bit gutted years on.
I was too dark haired and scruffy to ever be considered for the role.

You are lucky you even got to see your child's nativity at all. My children's school is very ott about data protection so refused to film or zoom any performances so have ended up not bothering doing any Christmas performances at all. Such as shame as I would have loved to have watched it and had a video to treasure and watch back in years to come regardless of how well my children performed. So think yourself lucky.

And then there's this one

That’s very cute, love how she grabs her from behind and rocking the baby on her hip!! She’s been watching well.

my dd cried because i got myself a front row seat, the teacher had to move her

Sounds about normal - I remember a nativity play from my own childhood - I was a forces child and my dad had been away for aaaagees and I’d been told he’d miss the nativity. Anyway they all got home early and as I stood on the front row saying my lines (I was a fairy, it was something about having wishes for audience members) I suddenly noticed him, burst into tears and told him to go away because he was ‘supposed to miss this’.
So I nice surprise for the five year old didn’t really work out!

Dd had a nose picking session in one show, and last year was the ‘door’ for the inn keeper so I don’t think her future is on the stage!

@LiJo2015

If it makes you feel any better... my son was Joseph at nursery. He started crying and bee-lined to me and refused to go back! Poor Mary had to go through it all alone 🤣

my ds did that too. They were processing around the church and Joseph say on my lap. Mary and the donkey stopped and the wh nativity ground to a halt. I was mortified at the time but 3 years later it's a fond memory.

Aw reminds me of DD crying all the way through hers. Then a few days later in a much different environment she knocked my socks off at how well she did in a carol concert.

My eldest DD always looked like she wanted to be anywhere but on stage. She is quite shy anyway, but speaking in public is a definite no. It took her until Yr3 before she managed to say a line on stage (the rest of the class had 4or 5 sentences. She had five words. I was very proud of her, as was her teacher)
DD2 was the opposite. Born to be on stage....
Preschool year... Joint play with reception (about 35kids total, it was a small school). Most of the preschool class were angels and animals. They gave her the role of Page to the Kings. She had to follow them carrying the presents. But she refused to answer to the name Page... She would just stamp her foot and say 'Im not Page, I'm XXX'. They rewrote the part to include her name.
Her reception year (Different School)... Cast as Mary. Had a fight with Joseph then dropped Jesus on his head.
Yr1... Just a musical. Fortunately. Barely saw a thing though, it was a whole school production and they completly underestimated the audience size. Should have done two performances.
Yr2... (Different School)... A midwife. Went smoothly... Until she picked up Jesus. And dropped him again.

I miss nativity plays.

I think even at age 4 I learned from watching DS that these things are massive in our heads and the reality is not so much. In year R last year I spent the whole time desperately trying to keep eye contact with DS as he was trying to find me the whole time, and it was absolutely packed in the hall. The year before in preschool I found the whole thing desperately boring except for the one small part with my own child!
This year, I watched the film at home with DS. He gripped me the whole time, talked me through every single moment and laughed his socks off at all the mistakes that were made. I actually much preferred it. It was like we shared it together rather than us trying to have a moment in a hall packed with 200 other people.

When DS, the elder, was in his nativity play many years ago, he was heard to remark, quite audibly, "This would be better with space aliens, ya know!" In church, not school!

If your DS enjoyed himself, that's all that matters.

My friend’s son was a king . He entered wearing a turban hat like old ladies wear with jewels stuck on. We started laughing and he took offence and ran down the church aisle and threw his gift at baby Jesus from about 10 yards away ! He is 40 now and we never let him forget .

Ah honestly, they are all so different. I've put some of the most confident children on stage for the Christmas show and they have still succumbed to stage fright or embarrassment when on stage.
It is a shame that you weren't able to see it in person, I understand that - little things like christmas plays and sports days are important milestones and memories to me as well x

Have you ever watched The Flint Street Nativity? It's old now and the only place Incan find it is on youtube.
I watch it every year, always makes me smile x

• I can

I have the opposite problem. Ds2 sings so loudly and with such gusto that all the other parents look at me and smirk.

It's so embarrassing.

Teacher however told me he's a godsend and that nearly all the children in her/this year are very meek and wouldn't say boo to a goose, and without him she'd be scuppered.

DS1 got the most lines as Alien#1 one year. I think he got the part after being the first child in the school to make an acceptance speech for star of the week shortly before nativity season. He's very good at projecting his voice

Poor DS2 came home with me in tears after last years. DS1 was already in bed with a coldy virusy thing. DS2 had a cold and had just had enough.
I always thought he'd be well into stuff like that but he tends to sit and fidget in his own world though most of them.

DS1 is a performer. Strong and confident, he played the main role in an infant play and shone aged 5, even other parents commented on him. Now 18, and still one of my proudest moments.
DS2 is not a performer. When it was his year, he played the part of a washing line and couldn't get off stage fast enough!

I remember the first nativity I produced as a teacher was for a reception class - I picked the most confident child to be Mary as she had to do lots of acting, moving around and quite a few lines. All through rehearsals she was brilliant, really confident. On the day of the performance stage fright hit! Mary decided she wasn't able to get off her chair where she sat at the beginning and whenever we prompted her for a line she just shouted "no!" Looking back it was very funny but on the day I was so embarrassed, thankfully the parents all found it endearing.

The second nativity I produced was for a year 2 class but it wasn't much better. We'd practised for weeks and it was looking great, I was incredibly proud of the class. On the day of the performance, out of a class of 30 only 11 turned up for school as there was an awful sickness bug doing the rounds and it wiped out 2/3 of the school! We had to plough on anyways and have the remaining kids take on multiple roles but during the performance 1 child threw up, 1 passed out and a couple looked so green they practically blended into the backdrop. Definitely goes down as my most memorable nativity!

This year will be different as no audience as we are filming it due to covid. Hopefully this will help the shy children.

Far more embarrassing the other way around, trust me. My dd would chip in with other peoples lines if they forgot them, and when the other girl with the solo got stage fright she sang it for her. She looked way too pushy and confident! She was 5 then. As an adult she has way less confidence

We live abroad and my DC go to a very straight laced catholic school. The Christmas show involves several school years and 99% of the DC behave themselves beautifully. The worst Ive seen is a bit of wriggling from the 5 year olds.

Last year my 8 year old's class was a choir and sang various beautiful songs in the local language. All very solemn. DS loves singing (though is tone deaf). Finally as light relief they sang Let it Snow in English. All the DC were very solemn again trying to remember the words in English. DS is bilingual and grew up listening to this song every Christmas. He danced and jigged around the entire song with a huge grin on his face. Then when it finished he stood and flossed.

Several parents commented to me on how much "energy" he had on stage