Things that irrationally annoy you in films?

[Soubriquet]

I’ll start

Brand new baby born...size of a 3 month old, wide awake and smiling

Always annoys me

Driving but never looking at the road.

In that same vein, they never say hello when answering the phone, say let’s meet at the bar, never say what time, and then hang up!

No “hello Judy, how are are you?”

Chess boards being set up the wrong way around. When you are facing your opponent, there should be a white square, not a black square on the bottom right of the board. White on the Right.

Ordering a drink, taking a sip and then just fucking leaving it and walking out because of some minor urgent thing. Annoys the crap out of me!!

When they have different actors playing the baby or toddler and they keep changing constantly and it's really obvious that their child is now someone else.

Not saying bye when they hang up a phone call.

Tbf I doubt you can get a lot of people offering up their newborns for films, i sure as hell wouldn't.

Man-childs (man-children I suppose!) being offered up as the hero of the story when they're really lasy, immature wankers.

Ditto misogynists dressed as Prince Charming (see Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, for starters. Gets on my tits.

Women running from dinosaurs in hugh heels, puh-lease!

Although reading back, they're not irrational things

Scenes that are clearly not filmed where the film is set. Saw a film on a nice sandy beach with rolling dunes. Set in Malta. 5 seconds of google will tell you Malta only has two sand beaches and nether have dunes.

Never looking at the road when driving.

Starting a conversation in the car park and continuing it 6 floors up in a building. I mean, really? Did you just not talk in the lift?

Tom Hanks

Christmas films when the pretty single lady is a dickhead to the handsome single (often widowed) man and instead of saying ''Well f you, you mardy cow" and moving on handsome man continues to be besotted by her.

Mums doing a lovely breakfast spread for the family...to have them come down, take a bite of toast and run out of the house

Honestly? If I was that mum and that happened day in day out, I would stop cooking breakfast after the 3rd day

Ordering food at a restaurant or sitting down to eat a meal at a table and then just... not eating it. Then leaving.

Incorrect science.

Foreign language, as in the small parts of spoken foreign language being wrong. I watched something in the States (medical, but not sure what the series was calles), there was a patient who only spoke Urdu, the patient was just saying random Urdu words, they were also poorly pronounced.

Who looks after the children in movies? Every bloody time someone has a baby it only features when it's part of the story, where is the child the rest of the time!?

Stabbing a full plate of food with a fork and never eating it
Leaving doors open
Drinking coffee from obviously empty cups
Carrying obviously empty bags.
Having a small suitcase, then having an endless and amazing wardrobe for the rest of the film.
Walking up to a bar, grabbing the bartenders eye straightaway, getting the drink in two seconds and never paying for it.

Children are told to go upstairs to bed when the main characters are having a crisis.. and they just go... immediately.
Vocal fry

I’ve noticed a lot of films and TV shows always have characters bumping into each other in doorways, one on the way out, another just arriving at the door. How often does that happen to you in RL? Hardly ever I’d say, yet on films it is almost definite that if you’re leaving your house someone else will be at the door.

Also, journalists interviewing people in films never take any notes, so god knows how they write their stories up.

How people treat their stuff. I know, it isn't a real handbag it's a prop but no one just chucks their bag any old where, hangs bag and coat on a chair then walks off for a long conversation without keeping an eye on it. Same with doors and car doors, just walking in leaving door open or going out without checking it's locked. And leaving drinks unattended while have important scene then going back and drinking it.

Women written by men. Dark night, dangerous situation, woman walks into it without any awareness or making sure phone is easy to reach or holding keys between fingers. Or running in a very secluded spot with very loud music with no awareness of surroundings. Or confronting large strange man when challenged.

Also, sitting around and discussing poo timings but that may just be those tiny yoghurt adverts.

Scenes set in snow - sometimes even the Arctic- and while people have hats and gloves on, their coats are not zipped to the neck, the scarf is an accessory flying around rather that firmly tucked in, they are not wearing sun goggles, their trousers are not tucked in to their boots - basically they are so evidently NOT COLD. And it's not like it's necessary for the plot or momentum, it's just fucking lazy directing.

In thrillers when somebody enters a house at night and then skulks about without putting the lights on... I know its to build the atmosphere but please just put a light on!

Dh put a film on the other night, I counted maybe 20+ average/normal looking men, but the 4 women that had been on screen were all jaw droppingly beautiful.

On the same note, older average looking men are always married to younger stunning women.

Noone ever mispronounces a word, forgets what they were going to say unless it's part of the plot.
The also never catch clothes on door handles.

Horses and ponies in costume or period dramas in modern tack/harness.

Really rips my knitting. Oh, and don't get me started on 'the Wilhelm neigh'.

In superhero films, the men are clad in protective armour.

Women have to look sexy, scantily clad..and their hair is down! How do they fight if their hair is always whipping around

I can barely do shopping with my hair loose around my face let alone fight off a bad man.

@LadyJaye

Horses and ponies in costume or period dramas in modern tack/harness.

Really rips my knitting. Oh, and don't get me started on 'the Wilhelm neigh'.

On that note, farmers always have a tiny amount of pigs/sheep/cows.