Friends DH attempted suicide

[Frenchfancy]

What can I do to help her?

Oh how sad, I'm so sorry she's going through this. I think if it was my friend I would send her a message of support with a "feel free not to reply, I'm always here if you want to talk day or night" kind of thing at the end. I'm a bread baker so I'd probably drop round some bread, nice jam and butter with a card saying always here to help, offer to make dinner one night so they don't have to, babysit the kids if she and her DH need to go to appointments, etc.

I can't really add much to the excellent advice from @xiaoxiong.

I have sent a text.

We found out because her DH sent my DH (amongst other people)a message saying what had happened and saying that my friend has problems but not to contact her.

I can't not contact her, and I feel he has forfeited his right to say what is best for her.

He must have been suffering and out of his mind to attempt suicide, don’t be harsh on him.

Hang on, he sent a message after he attempted? I don’t understand that bit???

No I don't either. He attempted at the weekend. He sent a message today saying what had happened and that he was terrified for my friend because she hasn't been herself lately. He's in hospital.

I hardly think a suicide attempt is controlling and playing games.

I know you don't want to say too much here but are you saying that her husband is telling people not to get in contact with her?

No form of being anything other than a really nice chap. Upstanding citizen. Plays organ at the church type of chap.

He said he thinks she needs to reach out when she's ready. She is not the type to reach out for help.

He attempted at the weekend, still in hospital now, messaged your DH (and others) and said he’s terrified for his wife as she’s not been herself lately and don’t contact her?

Have you heard from her?

Well he's clearly a mess at the mo but he's in hospital, and your priority is her. So yes contact, offer kindly, no pressure, letting her know you're really there for her. He really doesn't sound like he can know what's best for her right now.
Hope they both come through this OP.

Please contact her. But remember to contact him too, this is a crisis for both of them.

I'm going to get my DH to contact him. What a mess.

Poor people.

Contact her by a text, recorded message, letter, email.....any way that doesn't put her on the spot/ oblige her to speak if she can't face talking yet... and just say " I'm here, he's told us what happened and where he is. I'm so sorry. We just want to support you in any way we can. If you need anything, don't hesitate.

  Repeat the offer  every couple of days.

  You might also contact the hospital and  ask if her DH  wants anything.

Is it possible someone could do a welfare check on his wife?
It seems a little odd that his main concern is that no one contacts her after attempting to take his own life.

Her mum lives nearby and she has 2 sisters. I hope they will be checking up on her. I could go over but we are still in lock down and I'm the type that doesn't want to intrude.

I'll send her another message tomorrow. I'm doing a shop so I'll ask if she needs anything.

@cherrypie790 I don't want to take away from a lovely, thoughtful message, but it's important to note that it's no longer accepted to say that a person committed suicide. The phrase dates back to when suicide was illegal, a person 'commits' an illegal act. It's more appropriate to say died by suicide.

It's about changing our understanding around mental illness, and making such difficult subjects less taboo, and in turn making it easier for those who are ill (and their families) to feel able to ask for help.

If her mum lives nearby, could you contact her with an offer of support?

@Frenchfancy
I can't not contact her, and I feel he has forfeited his right to say what is best for her.

I think you need to do some reading on why people take this action. Its not to manipulate or control. Read up on compassion whilst your at it too.
Your friend definitely needs support but not from someone who is going to blame and denounce her DH .

I'm not blaming or denouncing, simply ignoring his advice not to contact her.

I work in the field of DV and freely admit that colours how I view the world. My radar may be way, way off here - but I would be very keen to try and contact her mum or sisters to make sure she has been physically seen by someone over the last 24 hours and that she is safe and well.

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett I thought similar, unfortunately. Probably way off the mark but definitely for peace of mind just check that someone has actually seen her.

@Frenchfancy Her mum lives nearby and she has 2 sisters. I hope they will be checking up on her

But what if they aren't?

It sounds like a very odd situation and in your position I would be very worried indeed about your friend.