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Original poster

When your Year 11 doesn't know what he wants to do, what do you do?

60 replies

MidnightVelvet9 · 30/11/2020 20:39

Haven't posted on here for ages, apologies if I'm in the wrong topic.

So my lovely intelligent nerdy Year 11 boy doesn't know what he wants to do as a career. He wants to do A Levels in chemistry, history and computer science and has a vague idea that he will go to uni but no idea what field he would work in or what he would do with a degree.

It would be difficult to afford uni for him, if he had a firm career in mind that he felt strongly about e.g. nursing or teaching then we would find a way for him to do it, but going to uni and coming out unemployed with £50k debt and still no idea what he wants is not ideal. Plus if he doesn't know what course he wants to do at uni we can't look at the eligibility criteria to make sure his A Levels match their entry requirements.

I've encouraged him to see the careers advisor at school and tried talking with him about possible jobs/industries he might be interested in but he just gets defensive and angry, probably because he feels under pressure but has no idea what to do. If I try to talk to him about it now he just says no and angrily closes the convo down before it starts. So I've stopped trying.

His dad (who I left years ago) has put it into his head that apprenticeships are for 'thick' people who can't go to uni, so he's not remotely interested in an apprenticeship as he now considers it beneath him.

I know its his life and I'm trying to not put him under pressure, but I'm out of ideas. Do I just leave him to make his own decisions?

Any advice would be great please :)

OP posts:
Crazycatlady83 · 30/11/2020 20:43

I don’t think he has to choose now. I think the best he can do is get the best possible grades in his GCSEs, A-levels and the best possible degree (which he is most likely to do if he does something that he enjoys)

When he goes through education, he will be able to think about what he wants to do and, especially at Uni, he will be able to get advice which by that stage will be more crafted to his particular skills

I think 16 is so young to make a decision about what you will do for the next 40+ years. Let him enjoy his education.

Honeybobbin · 30/11/2020 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

speakout · 30/11/2020 20:46

What is year 11?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Jobs Secondary education
EwwSprouts · 30/11/2020 20:48

I think lots of yr 11 are the same. Mine's now a year 12 and he settled on sciences but still no career idea. Post on the education board for more traffic. There are already threads for this age one for yr 11 and one for yr 12.

He might find his passion or choose a new field such as law for university? Degree apprenticeships might be an option?

VimFuego101 · 30/11/2020 20:51

You say 'difficult to afford uni for him'; I would research what you would need to pay as a parent and how much student loan he'd be eligible for based on your income. MoneySavingExpert has some useful info on why it's not usually a good idea to fund uni up front.

It sounds like his A level choices are good solid subjects that would get him into a number of uni courses.

dingledongle · 30/11/2020 20:52

National Careers Service might be helpful, have an online skills questionnaire which could give him some pointers.

I understand where you are coming from, my Dd is finding it difficult too Wink

endofthelinefinally · 30/11/2020 20:53

Tell him to get the best Alevels he can. If he doesn't know what he wants to do tell him to get a job.
One of my dc dropped out of school for a year and worked on a building site. He went back, did Alevels, then went to university.
They get there in the end.

titchy · 30/11/2020 20:54

Bloody hell leave him alone! No wonder he's getting angry -
you're hugely stressing him and he hasn't even done GCSEs yet! He's got an idea about A levels. That's fine for now. He won't be applying for uni for at least another 18 months.

As an aside what do you mean you can't afford it for him - if your household income is under £60k he'll get extra maintenance on top of the basic £4k. And you shouldn't really think of it as debt, more of a graduate tax.

Nackajory · 30/11/2020 20:55

Get him some independent advice. If he goes to college he can always change direction later. Its not set in stone. I didnt train in my current career until i was in my late 20s. He just needs to do something but it's not vitally important what at this stage.

frustrationcentral · 30/11/2020 20:56

So hard isn't it!

My 17 year old has just started A Levels. Bright boy, could probably give most things a shot. Up until recently had absolutely no idea what he wanted to do! Unfortunately he missed out on the yr 11 careers advice due to lockdown.

We've tried to help by using websites which help with careers advice based on favoured subjects. I can't remember the names of them but I'll post again when I do! Im sure the UCAS website gives ideas

popshops · 30/11/2020 21:00

Encourage a good mix of a levels and then think about it in year 12. For example a science, a humanity and one other would leave a lot of options open,

DianaT1969 · 30/11/2020 21:02

I do think you are being premature and projecting your own anxiety about uni costs onto him unfairly. If he wants to take on student debt and work a gap year to save up his living costs, then he'll have to decide that. His subjects sound good.

NerrSnerr · 30/11/2020 21:02

He doesn't need to know what he wants to do yet. If he wants to a degree subject that interests him without a career in mind at 18 doesn't mean he'll come out unemployed. He'll then have the opportunity to do a graduate scheme or go onto post grad/ teaching or doing a graduate scheme for other careers.

firedragon101 · 30/11/2020 21:33

He likes chemistry, history and computing. I agree it pointless to do a degree just 'because'.
He's still only eleven so plenty of time to forester a love of a hobby which could lead to a career. Paleontology could also tick all the boxes, if you could afford it, maybe look into doing a fossil hunting weekend or holiday with him. Or look at museums and dating techniques, again archeology requires both a scientific and creative mind, the principles of dating require good mathematic skills (stratigraphy) chemistry (carbon dating) history (dendrochronology) Computing and being able to use CAD programs also very useful to 'recreate the past.
Alternatively he could look at being a forensic scientist or a chemical engineer. Computer wise maybe you could look at getting him a raspberrypie or circuit boards (libraries normally have coding tools so if buying a raspberrypie isn't an option check out your library) and learning how to programme. We did this for dd last Christmas and she's got her heart set on being either a software or hardware engineer. She's currently building her own laptop (just for funShockGrin)

titchy · 30/11/2020 21:35

Year 11 @firedragon101 He's 16!

GrasswillbeGreener · 30/11/2020 21:39

My Yr 13 is applying to study English at university but still has only vague ideas about what to do after that.

I agree his A level thoughts sound reasonable; if he's not ready to engage with the careers service leave it for a bit.

MayYouLiveInInterestingTimes · 30/11/2020 21:42

Firedragon I looked at that combination and also thought it pointed towards archives, museums. It may be he has a vague idea / hope of that area as a fallback and doesn't dare mention it. Sadly, fascinating as it is, I cannot now recommend it to any save the independently wealthy. Too much of it has been pushed into the voluntary sector with no sign of change. I know experienced people who have been asked to pay to work. The only fields I recommend going in to right now are medical, computing, or trades.

Bearnecessity · 30/11/2020 21:44

You need to re-educate him about apprenticeships. My ds is doing a degree apprenticeship , he didn't know what to do either but he is loving it. People go all their lives without ever really knowing and that is ok. The important thing is to try something even if his interest in it is vague, I agree with you Op there is little point in doing a general degree. Is your ds arty, science focussed, active, physical, into working by himself or within a team.....keep refining your criteria...as others have said he will find his way....

user127819 · 30/11/2020 21:59

It's quite normal to not know what you want to do at that age but the school system does put undue pressure on them to have clear goals far into the future. A Levels in chemistry, history and computer science will open lots of doors for him. I would leave the subject for a little while. He's probably feeling stressed about exams next year and the thought of the next lot of exams and then university and then work is a bit much right now.

NCNecessary · 30/11/2020 22:39

Chemistry, history and computer science seems a weird mix. Two science and one heavily essay based.
Look for entry requirements for each pure subject and go from there; at one point you couldn't do chemistry without maths.

FredtheFerret · 30/11/2020 22:45

Leave him be and be grateful he knows what he wants to do for A level. I always recommend (Y11 tutor) that they choose the subjects they like best for A level and not to stress about what subjects they should be choosing. Students who pick A levels in subjects they don't particularly enjoy, but think they need for a certain degree then to do less well in them.

I've got a Y11 who has no idea what A levels to choose, never mind what they want to do. They are 15 - why should they?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/11/2020 22:48

He just needs to focus on the Alevels. It's two years of hard work, and the pressure to "choose a career" at 16 is unnecessary.

If and when he decides to go to uni he can live at home and attend a local one if funds don't allow for him to live away.

Alternatively he may choose to tale a year or more out to travel or get an apprenticeship.

Ro198 · 30/11/2020 22:48

There are different open days he could attend in the next year or so (Covid permitting) where companies invite students to come and learn more about what they do, what grades they would need to work there etc. I wish I had done that before going to uni.

AIMD · 30/11/2020 22:50

Yes I think leave it for a bit. He’s still so young!
I’d encourage him to explore the areas he is interested in and good at rather than focus on specific jobs. He could have a gap year to travel and work too before deciding on what he wants to do after A levels.

OvaHere · 30/11/2020 22:50

My niece didn't know what she wanted to do post A level. She spent a couple of years working as an apprentice TA but decided to go to Uni this year at nearly 21. I think she will get a bit more out of the course being a little more mature.

He has time to figure it out.

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