When your Year 11 doesn't know what he wants to do, what do you do?

[MidnightVelvet9]

Haven't posted on here for ages, apologies if I'm in the wrong topic.

So my lovely intelligent nerdy Year 11 boy doesn't know what he wants to do as a career. He wants to do A Levels in chemistry, history and computer science and has a vague idea that he will go to uni but no idea what field he would work in or what he would do with a degree.

It would be difficult to afford uni for him, if he had a firm career in mind that he felt strongly about e.g. nursing or teaching then we would find a way for him to do it, but going to uni and coming out unemployed with £50k debt and still no idea what he wants is not ideal. Plus if he doesn't know what course he wants to do at uni we can't look at the eligibility criteria to make sure his A Levels match their entry requirements.

I've encouraged him to see the careers advisor at school and tried talking with him about possible jobs/industries he might be interested in but he just gets defensive and angry, probably because he feels under pressure but has no idea what to do. If I try to talk to him about it now he just says no and angrily closes the convo down before it starts. So I've stopped trying.

His dad (who I left years ago) has put it into his head that apprenticeships are for 'thick' people who can't go to uni, so he's not remotely interested in an apprenticeship as he now considers it beneath him.

I know its his life and I'm trying to not put him under pressure, but I'm out of ideas. Do I just leave him to make his own decisions?

Any advice would be great please :)

I'm 35, working, doing a master's and pregnant with only vague ideas about what I'd like to do. I teach 16 year olds (which is fun) and there is nothing unusual about them not knowing what they want to do- how could they with so little experience of what possibilities might be available.

Having said that:
I'm another one who recommends adding maths into that A level mix - if he can and he might opt for it to be an AS level (or drop history at the end of the first year).

Either way adding Maths or Physics would open up a lot of university courses for him compared to "just" history, chemistry and computer science. The reason for this is that most University science courses require at least 2 related science subjects and computer science won't be counted by many sciences as a "true" science.

The best apprenticeships (in terms of pay and progression) are ones you start after A levels. There are some fantastic opportunities to earn £250+ a week while having your degree paid for. Obviously you need to know what you want to do and be motivated to get one of those places. They often lead to better career outcomes than University for subjects like engineering where experience is essential.

I don't see why him going to university would cost you anything; you might choose to give him money while he's there or he might have to work through his studies (as I did and as many others do).

Mine is in year 11 and hasn't even decided what he wants to do after school , he is applying for couple college courses this weekend but vary from business , services or a trade as he has no idea what he really wants to do

My other son is year 13 equivelant / 2nd year college doing level 3 in sports and he is also unsure
Tbh we let him pick sports as he enjoyed it and he needed to build his confidence , we are encouraging him to stay in education or apprentiship as market will be hard for jobs , have advised he applies to uni and another college course as well as looks for apprenticeships closer to time ,with a hope that he has a better idea come june / july
I did college course in hotel & catering , i only stuck at career couple years and early 20's changed , dh same catering career and changed to a trade late 20's and worked his way up in building so always can change later on .

Do not get sucked in the "£50K" debt thing. Its a deferred tax and most graduates will never pay it all back. The MSE website has an excellent review of the pros and cons of tuition fee charges

OP - I feel for your DS. I was like him at that age, and to be honest, I probably still am to a degree (I'm late 40s now, btw). Unless it's changed, I found careers advice useless. Unless you know what you want to do, their advice is limited. I've often dreamt of a service you can go to where you can say, you know what? I'm good at x, y and z but I really enjoy a, b and c; what job opportunities might that open up for me? Yet to see it, though.
My only advice is encourage him to do the things he's good at and enjoys at GCSE. He's more likely to get good results. He can think about A levels later. Any shortfall in knowledge later on can usually be caught up, if needed and interest is there. Good luck

It's worth noting that most chemistry-related degree courses require A Level Maths, and computer science degree courses require A Level maths across the board. If he wants to keep his options open, then I'd suggest doing A Level maths. If his maths isn't strong enough to continue to A Level, I'd encourage him to talk to his teachers about how much maths there is in his A Level chemistry / computer science courses.

Even if he doesn't know exactly what he wants to do at uni, he should go on uni websites and check the entry requirements for courses he might be interested in, so he can keep his options open.

The issue of student loans really isn't as bad as you think it is - the repayments are based on how much he earns not how much he owes, and it won't affect his chances of getting a mortgage etc. Martin Lewis does a great mythbuster on the Money Saving Expert website.

Apprenticeships are not for thick people. Degree apprenticeships in particular are insanely competitive - but they're also not right for everyone.

Finally, it's worth knowing that 70% of graduate jobs are open to people with a degree in ANY subject. Going to uni is more about gaining transferable skills, getting work experience alongside the degree, and ultimately getting the bit of paper.

Send him to university in Germany, it's for free! You pay no tuitions fees, he won't have to worry about 50k debt

@frolicmum

Send him to university in Germany, it's for free! You pay no tuitions fees, he won't have to worry about 50k debt

You would have to worry about paying his board, lodgings, travel etc though. Oh and move there last year so he'd be entitled to free tuition as an EU domiciled applicant

If your income is low he can afford uni as well as anyone else, that's a strength of the loan system

I wish people stopped peddling this misinformation, there are people who cannot afford university because the loan is rarely enough and even with the student finding a part time job, the parents do not make enough money to supplement it.

Lots of kids from lower income families opt out of university or study locally as the parents cannot supplement the loan, sometimes even to cover accommodation (fancy paying £700 a month for a room in London and a travel card?)

Some more affluent families cannot afford it either as their loan entitlement is reduced by income (not difficult considering the threshold for household income is so low) especially if they have more children to support.

I would say that even if your kid gets the full loan entitlement, qualifies for needs based bursaries, and gets a part time job, they may still need their families to step in and help them with expenses from time to time.

It is not as when we were studying anymore, things are far more difficult for students these days. And if we add to that the current levels of unemployment, it is no surprise many experience hardship.

@titchy sorry, I also should have mentioned that this was a jokey comment and wasn't very helpful OP - sorry!

Of course but you would usually do that if he does go in the UK as well, if he lives at home, he wouldn't be 50k in debt (or shouldn't be). I don't think so because even Americans can go to university in Germany and not pay tuition.