How can I help my son?

[Libermonkey]

My younger son is 27 and lives with us. He has very low confidence, dropped out of uni so no qualifications, has only worked in bars so obviously been a bad year for him.

He has applied for jobs but gets nowhere. He has such low self esteem, he presents badly when he has to talk to anyone. He won’t see the GP to try and get counselling. He’s just lost, watches YouTube all day.

I don’t know what to do to help him move on. Worst thing is he’s not always truthful so although I know he’s really unhappy, he lies to me about what efforts he’s making to get work and get a life.

Can you assign him some physical chores around the house/garden. Can you get him out for a bracing walk? Encourage him to meet a friend to exercise? Re the confidence when I did an evening class on public speaking we learned lots of breathing and physical exercises to relax, stand taller, breathe and have confidence. Eg imaging squeezing a lemon with your buttocks or something! Really recommend doing something like that. Also if he likes YouTube videos can you watch some inspiring ones together eg ted talks such as Amy Cuddy’s one on posture and confidence (power posing etc , would recommend )

Thanks Stonecrop. Tbh he is good in the house, cooks and cleans, walks the dog every afternoon. In non lockdown he does am dram, so it’s funny how he is confident on stage but terrified irl. He’s a nice boy and good company but I’m just so sad he doesn’t have a life. Ted talks is a good idea- but he’s reluctant to take any suggestions from me.