This is a strange one I'll grant you

[Doublebubblebubble]

This is fully lighthearted! But can any parents with newborns or little ones remind me why I don't want to be broody.

Okay, so here goes, if this is in the wrong spot to post this let me know. Basically I have 2 children, 10 and 5, I have been pregnant 5 times, have had a stillbirth of twins and 2 miscarriages. My partner has had a vasectomy and I have a coil, the problem is my mirena is due to be replaced in early december and I keep thinking, maybe, just maybe, if I dont get it replaced and just get it removed I could fall pregnant, 1million to 1 but a chance lol. Hubby obv wouldnt be happy and nor would i really. I genuinely hate being pregnant -it makes me super anxious, I get hyperemesis everytime too. but I am so damn broody at the moment. I wake up in the morning, baby. I go to bed at night, baby. I'm thinking of babies more than christmas. 2 of my friends are pregnant at the moment as well so I blame them.

Remind me why not to have another child. Make me not broody please

Oh and my mum has cancer of the sinuses at the moment. I keep thinking one more baby for her. I know its stupid, but yeah.

You cannot do that without telling your husband.

@DelphineWalsh i dont actually want a baby!! I want to be reminded of the worst parts of having a newborn!

Of course she can get the coil out if she wants to get it out, he's had a vasectomy so its not as if there's a realistic chance of her getting pregnant given that the failure rate is around 0.1%

I think you sound like you're under a lot of pressure, OP and your head is all over the place. Its normal to feel broody now and again, as I approach 40 I keep thinking "one more baby..." which I'm sure is my ovaries having one last stab at furthering the species. In reality I couldn't do it all over again, also due to hyperemesis and various other issues.

They never let you sleep.EVER. Then they grow up and have annoying online games where they shout at people you can’t see, and those people shout and them, then there can be tears. Or they are bullied in school, or are a bully, and they want money for the cinema, for food, for clothes, for headphones, for a phone, for more food, for shoes, to replace the first phone because they broke it, then when they’re teenagers you can’t have sex ever because they never go to sleep and they’ll hear you. And then they will go to uni and you’ll be devastated. It’s not worth the hassle.

Based on my own experiences of being pregnant and having a baby:

• hyperemesis and the constant vomiting following by appointments with sharks GP who claims it's "normal to be sick in pregnancy"
• hospital for hyperemesis
• the meds
• the dragging bone aching tiredness of the first trimester
• heartburn and acid reflux so bad that the acid would come up into the back of my throat while I slept and I would wake up during the night choking and gasping on it
• vomiting pure acid at around 2am most nights because of the above
• having to go on the maximum dose of omeprozole to try and stop it
• sciatica
• restless legs
• veins that could rival an AA road map
• people commenting "are you STILL pregnant!?" and "still no baby then?? Hahaha" as if they're funny
• people commenting "don't you have a television?" and "you'd think you would figure out whats causing it by now?" as if they're also funny
• the previous miscarriage anxiety of constant knicker checking and overanalysis of every little twinge and tweak
• not being able to get comfortable
• items dropped on the floor that may as well be on the moon

Then when the baby arrives:

• caesarean
• stitches
• sore boobs
• leaking from several areas at once
• smelling like milk
• smelling like maple syrup because of the fenugreek capsules to help boost the milk
• cracked nipples
• meconium
• explosive nappies
• extra laundry
• baby sick
• constant visitors
• health visitors
• no sleep
• the competitive tiredness argument with DH about who has had the least sleep
• glaring at DH at 2am while he lies there sleeping like a smug twat with his useless fucking nipples and I feed the baby again
• dealing with other kids while dealing with a newborn
• weaning
• potty training
• the "let's smash the house up and repeat every bad word I ever accidentally overhead" toddler stage where your cute baby turns into Begbie for a year or so

This is your hormonal last hurrah

I was so convinced I was going to get myself upduffed that I got myself snipped

Then my best mate fell pregnant accidentally at 45 and watching that exhaustion just makes it hit home. Sleep is too precious!

@Gancanny I am under a lot of pressure at the moment and I keep thinking well babies make people happy, so everyone will be happy.

My mum is really, really down at the moment and she just has no get up and go except for when shes with my children. My brother wont ever have any children so it looks like shes only ever going to have 2, which makes me sad for her. I am awfully awfully broody though too. I'm kind of wondering if because Ive had my mirena for 5 years and its on its last legs whether thats affecting my hormones too??

@ButterMeUpScotty My 10 year old DD is asking for make up most of the time and how to style her hair and basically to be a grown up more and more. She asked if she could make me a coffee the other day, which was nice but shocking, I was like NO you are too young to be using a kettle but then I was like, is she? (She has her whole life planned out -she wants to be a chef and normally helps me with cooking so she is very sensible). Thats my baby. She shouldnt be doing such grown up things. My youngest,ds, started school this year and because he is my last it just feels like constant pain not having him around. I even got a kitten this year but shes already grown up too. I asked DH for another cat but he said no (for now ) I guess Im going to be a crazy cat lady in the future.

@Gancanny

Based on my own experiences of being pregnant and having a baby:

• hyperemesis and the constant vomiting following by appointments with sharks GP who claims it's "normal to be sick in pregnancy"
• hospital for hyperemesis
• the meds
• the dragging bone aching tiredness of the first trimester
• heartburn and acid reflux so bad that the acid would come up into the back of my throat while I slept and I would wake up during the night choking and gasping on it
• vomiting pure acid at around 2am most nights because of the above
• having to go on the maximum dose of omeprozole to try and stop it
• sciatica
• restless legs
• veins that could rival an AA road map
• people commenting "are you STILL pregnant!?" and "still no baby then?? Hahaha" as if they're funny
• people commenting "don't you have a television?" and "you'd think you would figure out whats causing it by now?" as if they're also funny
• the previous miscarriage anxiety of constant knicker checking and overanalysis of every little twinge and tweak
• not being able to get comfortable
• items dropped on the floor that may as well be on the moon

Then when the baby arrives:

• caesarean
• stitches
• sore boobs
• leaking from several areas at once
• smelling like milk
• smelling like maple syrup because of the fenugreek capsules to help boost the milk
• cracked nipples
• meconium
• explosive nappies
• extra laundry
• baby sick
• constant visitors
• health visitors
• no sleep
• the competitive tiredness argument with DH about who has had the least sleep
• glaring at DH at 2am while he lies there sleeping like a smug twat with his useless fucking nipples and I feed the baby again
• dealing with other kids while dealing with a newborn
• weaning
• potty training
• the "let's smash the house up and repeat every bad word I ever accidentally overhead" toddler stage where your cute baby turns into Begbie for a year or so

@Gancanny this is PERFECT- this can be my bedtime story tonight

Let your mum see the children you have
Remember babies cause pressure too- especially the sleepless nights, exhaustion and no time to yourself. Crying and tantrums etc, juggling with other children's needs. The Witching hour in the evenings when they have colic and need help for hours. Etc etc. Nappies!

You’ll be too poorly vomiting and feeling like death to see your mum or enjoy your children.

Then you’ll be too busy and tired with a screaming newborn to see your mum or enjoy your children.

Then you’ll be too stressed, tired and busy trying to wrangle a toddler to see your mum or enjoy your children....there’s a pattern here!

That was me at 42 . A toddler that never slept, going through a messy break up with his dad and just getting back into my career. 99% knew it was stupid ...but ....so broody ! It passes ,that is the good news

Oh...mastitis and sticking cabbage leaves in your bra!

Imagine in years to come them all being teens and / or in uni and the costs as well. Enough to out anyone off..

@Anotherducker

You’ll be too poorly vomiting and feeling like death to see your mum or enjoy your children.

Then you’ll be too busy and tired with a screaming newborn to see your mum or enjoy your children.

Then you’ll be too stressed, tired and busy trying to wrangle a toddler to see your mum or enjoy your children....there’s a pattern here!

@Anotherducker PERFECT (💋)

@Orangeblossom7777 I got the worst mastitis with my ds. I had completely forgotten about this!

Keep'em coming ladies!!!!!!

I bloody live babies. I think everyone should have hundreds of babies because the world should be filled with babies!

But they turn in to teenagers. Don't do it.

If they have a danger nap post 4pm you'll be up all night not getting any sleep because the mini dictator wants to play or read or talk or just be a beasty!

I love him but would much rather be downstairs eating the curry dh cooked tonight than trying to convince a 1 year old he should be asleep 🙈

I have a top tip for you- tell your husband to go and have a sperm check and no matter the result (even if he doesn't actually go!) to tell you he has plenty of little swimmers.
Then BOOM! Instead of wanting a lovely, snuggly newborn you'll actually start thinking if you were pregnant... and your imagination will fill in the gaps of all the horrific bits and reminders of why you shouldn't and don't want to have a baby.
Works for me, anyway. Until I see a newborn, then my uterus tries to crawl up and out of my throat to find my husband and force him to put a baby in there!

get a nice new mirena in there ASAP....no periods, no flooding, no rampaging hormones!

plus what everyone else said!

And surely you can have a squish of your friend's babies, then hand them back go home and make lovey dinner plans with your ten year old while they deal with poonamis, colic and functioning on 25 minutes of sleep 18 times a nignt for MONTHS!

I still feel broody, and always will I expect, my two are 19 & nearly 18!

Sorry that your mum is poorly OP, but you can’t have a baby to please/cheer up your mum

Once you are though the baby stages, you just remember the good bits, rather than the sickness, being uncomfortable during pregnancy, labour, sleepless nights, colic, teething, nappies, weening, potty training etc. Would you want to do that all again?

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow I would love a squish with them - one of my friends is due in 2 days (3rd baby) and because of covid its all up in the air. Shes scared and Im scared too. I do love the smell of newborns...

Mmmm freshly-baked babies, straight out of the oven...

Enjoy your friends’ babies smell, then give your head a wobble!