My dad has come home to die.

[LastRoloIsMine]

Its a strange feeling. I am pleased that after 3 weeks in hospital with no visitors he is now home surrounded by his family and can die how he chooses but at the same time I have to accept he is home to die.

We will be having Christmas this week and he will spend the time enjoying his children and grandchild.

I am happy and sad.

I am so sorry that you are going to lose him but so glad that you can be with him. Have an unmumsnetty hug.

I have been exactly where you are. I have no advice as everyones story is different. But be kind to yourself too. You will find a strength you didnt know you had. Sending you best wishes.

So sorry to hear this @LastRoloIsMine, but just savour every moment you have to create some amazing memories xx

I’m so sorry but how lovely you are having a family Christmas full of love x

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I just want to wish you the best for your time with your father, and the memories you are going to make in this week.

I spent my dads last days with him at home. You will treasure those memories and the things you share with him now. However small and however difficult it’s all previous. Sending you support op. Tough tough tough but so are we. You’ll get through it.

Thank you so much for your thoughts.

I am in an odd place of acceptance and anger.
His cancer was missed for 9 months. By the time they found it it was too late.
That said we all have to die and he has 3 children and 9 grandchildren plus 68 years of memories. We have much to be thankful for.

I have spent the last 5 days fighting to get him home now I am just worn out.

So sorry OP, enjoy your Christmas together, try and enjoy the moment of spending time together as a family, I know circumstances will make that difficult. Make as many memories as you can x

Congrats on your fight to get him home for a family Christmas.

What an awful situation OP. Sending big hugs. Well done for getting him home. I hope that you all enjoy every moment of your Christmas even the sprouts! Make happy memories and treasure your Dad.

Bless you and your dad OP.

Oh rolo I'm so desperately sorry your dad has reached this point and also glad for you all that you have the coming days together to celebrate the life of someone so beloved, however best you can.
Sending love.

I’m so sorry to read this but also glad that he will be surrounded by love and home comforts.
My mum died a few years ago and I (weirdly) feel lucky that I knew she was going to die so that we could have loving, gentle moments together before she did, it soothes me to think that we wrapped things up so delicately at the end and really did our relationship justice.
Love to you.

I’m so sorry. My dad is in a similar condition. He has just left the hospice and came home yesterday, he wants to die at home too.
Sending you all hugs.

Oh Book I am so sorry.

You have all made me feel very settled if that makes sense?

I am sorry you have all lost loved ones but it feels comforting to know I am not alone.

The reluctant step mother, beautifully phrased, I had the same with df, although to be Frank, we should not force terminally ill people to go on and on until the bitter end.

Op it's a privilege to die like your df surrounded by family... As reluctant said treasure each moment.

My mom passed on Oct 22 of this year. She is the first person in my family to pass at home and it was as good as such a thing could be. We don't get to control that we pass, but to be home, surrounded by family and love? Savor it. I have found it has given me such comfort. I am so sorry you have to go through it, but concentrate on the comfort and love.

Is there anything kinder you can give someone than their last Christmas? Surrounded by the joys of their family and legacy in the home they love and feel at peace within.

Enjoy your sherry and your crackers and turkey as best you all can. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas

I’m so sorry op. It’s hard to lose a parent in any circumstance. I lost my dad suddenly in May and never got to say the things I would have liked to say.

Tell him everything you want him to know, ask him everything you want to know, remember the great times you shared and hug him lots.

Posting here is therapeutic because you don’t feel some and someone comes along with just the right thing to say at the right time.

Thoughts are with you. Enjoy your Christmas together, that’s a lovely idea xx

Merry Christmas to you all. I really hope you all get the peace and joy you need. It sounds like he's surrounded by love, which is all anyone can wish for x

Sending love and thinking of you. Well done for what you’ve done and what you’re about to do. Do take care of yourself, too - promise us you will. We often get through these things at the time then hit a wall. So eat, sleep and get fresh air, take deep breaths and treasure the precious moments. Xx

sending you and your family warm thoughts and prayers.

Shit. I’m so sorry. My dad died in January 2019 and it’s like a living nightmare but a good death is so important. Take care of yourself. x

I hope your time together is special. To die surrounded by loved ones who treasure you will I'm sure will be his greatest comfort.

I havent slept past 4am for 3 weeks sleep is unknown to me these days

We have basic support coming in 4 times a day but myself or my brother will be there overnight to support mum.

Mums having a melt down as dad is now in the dining room on a hospital bed and the dining table has been moved upstairs so nowhere to put the Christmas buffet for 17 people !
Dad said he can lay on his side to make room for the sausage rolls