My dad has come home to die.

[LastRoloIsMine]

Its a strange feeling. I am pleased that after 3 weeks in hospital with no visitors he is now home surrounded by his family and can die how he chooses but at the same time I have to accept he is home to die.

We will be having Christmas this week and he will spend the time enjoying his children and grandchild.

I am happy and sad.

lastrolo I like the sound of your dad. your poor mum also. Support all round.

He sounds wonderful.

I am so sorry you are all facing this. Lovely that you got him home though.

I hope you manage a nights sleep. It will definitely be good for you.

I'm so sorry OP, how devastatingly bitter sweet to have him home under these circumstances.

Dad said he can lay on his side to make room for the sausage rolls

That made me smile, your dad sounds so wonderful and strong.

I hope you have a magical Christmas filled with happiness and memories to treasure

@LastRoloIsMine

I havent slept past 4am for 3 weeks sleep is unknown to me these days

We have basic support coming in 4 times a day but myself or my brother will be there overnight to support mum.

Mums having a melt down as dad is now in the dining room on a hospital bed and the dining table has been moved upstairs so nowhere to put the Christmas buffet for 17 people !
Dad said he can lay on his side to make room for the sausage rolls

Your Dad sounds like a corker

I hope you have a lovely Christmas together. Be kind to yourself xx

@LastRoloIsMine
Lots of love going your Families way...
Our Dad died at Home and he slipped peacefully away at about 2am when we were all asleep
I miss him a lot..
So unbearably poignant, but dying at home on your own terms is about as good as it gets
Surrounded by those you love.
So glad your Dad has a loving family💕.
He is very lucky.
Bless you and others going through similar painful things.

“Dad said he can lay on his side to make room for the sausage rolls”

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
My Dad died in hospital and it wasn’t a good death. Well done OP, you’ve done a wonderful thing for him x

I had a parent die at home just before Christmas. It’s difficult and incredibly sad but ultimately so much nicer than being in hospital.
Cherish these moments and say everything you want to say to him.

@LastRoloIsMine
Sending you and your family love

Thinking of you. I have been through similar at home this year and it was far more peaceful and less scary than I expected. Tell your dad not to roll over on the sausage rolls. x

P.s Your Dad sounds lovely 👍

Oh I am truly so sorry to hear about your lovely dad, I have a lump in my throat just thinking about you and imagining this. I'm so glad he was able to get home and be surrounded by his loving family. I hope you all have the most wonderful Christmas.

I’m flying over next week to spend the last Christmas with my mum too (if she makes it)

I’m trying to concentrate on the positives.

She is at the home she loves, wonderfully looked after by my sister and she’s not in pain.

My sister is in denial though, sometimes sends me messages about how mum is deteriorating as it it came out if the blue. I worry how she’s going to take it.

I'm sorry. That must be so difficult, but he sounds like a lovely man who has not lost his sense of humour.

I hope you have an enjoyable Christmas with him, and what a relief that you can now have him back at home with you. Family support and contact is so important.

Facing a loved one's death at any time is almost unbearable, but the choice to die where he wants with his family around is priceless. I hope it will be a comfort to you all.

We managed to get my mum home from hospital so she could be in her own bed where she wanted to be. I know how stressful making the arrangements for discharge is. I’m so glad you are getting to be with your Dad and to have him home. Cancer is a very cruel disease. I will think about your dad x

Merry Christmas OP - it’s a little early and I’m sure a very bittersweet one - but I hope that you all have a really precious time together

My Dad died earlier this year. Holding his hand as he passed away in my childhood family home was without a doubt the hardest moment of my 51 years on this earth. I'd spent his last 2 weeks with him, visiting him in hospital the first week and then at home for his final week. It was weirdly calm and peaceful towards the end, he was on morphine so not really conscious for the last day or so but I kept squeezing his hand, telling him all the time how much he was loved as I like to think he could still hear me. He just breathed slower and slower and then just...... stopped. It has since brought me great comfort to have been there and I actually feel privileged to have been with him.

You have all been so lovely you really don't know how much this means.
I am not a sharer and have only talked to my partner, 1 friend and my boss about dad.

Thank you.

For all those who sadly share my heartache

My lovely dad came home for his last few weeks . Such a special time and 15 years later I still get huge comfort from the memories . 3 days before he died he was on our patio directing the Easter egg hunt .
Our dd and her children live in his house now and although he died before the dgc were born they talk about ‘ Grandad Tom’

I’m pleased for you. I hope your dad is as comfortable as possible and surrounded by love.

I had the honour and privilege of being with my mother in her last weeks. I medicated and cared for her in her home. It was a gentle serene time, we laughed, we cried, and we sang together. We sat on her verandah looking at the garden she had grown from nothing. We moved her bed to the open window for the sun to fall on her face as she wanted, after a glorious day of sunlight and fresh air (her favourite things) she drifted away in her sleep.

Have a blessed family time together making memories and sharing love.

My mum passed away at home unexpectedly very recently. She didn't want to die at home as she didn't want us to have the memories of her dying here. But at least my dad and I were with her. I didn't tell her that I loved her and I regret that.

Make sure that his affairs are in order - much easier to do now, than later and ask him what his wishes are for his funeral etc. I know it sounds morbid, but these are conversations that I wished I had had with my mum.

Make lovely memories and record/write things down. There's so much that I should've spoken to my mum about.

I'm so glad you managed to get him home. My daughters and I, with help from our district nurses, Macmillan and Marie Curie nurses, were able to give my husband a peaceful journey to his death at home, with the three of us and the cat with him at the end, holding his hand and laughing at shared memories. I wish all deaths could be that way.

Your dad sounds fun! I hope you all have a lovely 'alternative' Christmas, and that your dad is comfortable to the end.

Oh gosh he knows the songs we have chosen louty

Due to him calling me and me not ending the call properly he heard us play the 4 songs we think he would like. He heard us singing them and saying why he would like them. He listened for 20 minutes before calling the house phone to let us know he heard and approved!!

He thought it was wonderful to here us laugh and share memories.

God I will miss him.