I'm pregnant and feel like I'm going to self harm. TW

[Riggsthedino]

I am currently 19 and a half weeks pregnant with a surprise baby. Although a initial shock o am working my hardest to give this baby the best possible life. I'm starting to plan a future. I previously really struggled with mental helath and self harm have had multiple sections and operations etc. since finding out about baby I've managed to stop. I'm know receiving very little support as evreyone assumes I'm fine ! Last few days it's been building up. I really feel like I might self harm. I've phoned duty mental helath team (my workers of) and they just said to distract myself and to phone if I was going to do something/did. They also said that most support is just watch and wait to see if I do somthing ! I'm so worried about haveing baby's taken of me. I really struggle this time of year. Alota going on. Planning for baby. I've got so much to do I'm not coping and I don't know what to do

Anyone ?

Here for you OP! Have you found anything else that provides any relief from the feeling? You’ve done so well to get this far!

I've already done most of my distractions. Walked the dog, watched tv, done some cooking. I'm just stating to give up slightly all my energy is just going

Ice cubes, elastic bands?

Speak to your GP, that response from your.mh team doesn't sound very good. Is there a community mental health support service for pregnant women and new mums in your area? In the south west we have Bluebell and they are brilliant. Your GP might know. You could also ask your midwife team if they have any advice or knowledge of what is available.

Huge well done for speaking up and trying to find belp. Big hugs.

What about go to a and e ?

Has anything helped in the past when you've been feeling like this?
Do you have any friends you can call and have a long catch up with?
Do you have any colouring books? Cross stitching is a good form of distraction if you're into that kind of thing?
I enjoyed pregnancy yoga, there are lots of classes on YouTube?
Is there anywhere you can go to be with somebody? I know there are lockdown rules but as far as I'm concerned you're mental health and immediate safety come first.

I'm under peri natal but that's when the duty said they are doing a watch and wait approach to if I do anything ! A&e is pointless unless I've done something.

@Riggsthedino

Well done for trying to seek help. Well done for actively trying your distraction techniques. Mental health provision has been poor throughout this, it must be awful to have this 'wait and see' hanging over you.
We are here for you. Thank you for reaching out.
Tell us about your baby. Are you going to find out what you are having? Do you have a gut feeling about it?

I don't have many friends that now. I have messaged one they are busy with work. I have phoned my grandmother and been on phone for an hour this morning (lives otherside of Country).
I already now I'm having a boy! I am happy about it albeit terrified and have a lot to sort. I just don't want him taken away. Social services haven't said that if not quite the opposite I'm just worried if I start struggling again.

@Riggsthedino

A little boy, how amazing. You are already being a fantastic mum to your baby. You are recognising you need support and because you are trying to keep yourself safe you are protecting him. Stop being so hard on yourself.
SW are there to help. Same with mental health services although I absolutely know they are stretched to the limit and care provision is not what it should be. But you have reached out on here.
Have you thought of any names? Being pregnant is both terrifying and amazing at the same time! Keep talking OP and hopefully the intrusive feelings will pass

Oh that’s lovely @Riggsthedino when’s he due? Have you started thinking about nursery furniture, prams, baby clothes etc?

Due April 16. I've got some clothes. Looking at bouncers, looking at prams , car seats etc

@Riggsthedino
A spring baby. That's great. How are you doing now OP?

Pretty bad. I've cooked a curry and cleaned teh kicthen so I am trying. It's just feeling things building up. It's like a pop bottle that's going to explode

www.gloucestershireselfharm.org/media/1039/coping-strategies.pdf
I’m sure you’ve already got something like this?

Is there a mental health helpline in your area @Riggsthedino? We can all chat if you prefer.

Got any baby names yet?
You've done well to ask for help. Can you keep safe with us for a while?

Hello, have you seen this website?
www.getselfhelp.co.uk/sitemap.htm
It has lots of really good resources.
I’ll post some relevant pages that may help immediately. And then you can look at the other ones when you’re feeling more stable.

Distraction Now! That’s the name of the page.

www.getselfhelp.co.uk/distract.htm

Distress now.

www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anxietyhelp.htm

Have you got a crisis kit/calm box?
It’s a good idea to have one that you have access to, ready for when you need it.

Here’s examples of what you can put in it:

Distraction
Crosswords, adult colouring book & pens/pencils, Suduko etc. Nail varnish. Special Bubble bath.

Touch
Modelling clay, Fluffy socks, textured blanket, fidget toys eg stress balls, fidget spinner. Hand cream for a hand massage. Pretty beads or stones.

Smell
Essential oil. Scented candle. Lavender spray. Face/body cream.

Taste
Favourite coffee pods/sachet. Hot chocolate and marshmallows. Choc bar/sweets. Flavoured lip balm.
Favourite flavour of crisps, can of your favourite soft drink.

Sight
Photos, inspirational quotes. Battery glitter lamp or fibre optic. Postcards. A kaleidoscope.

Blow bubbles, to control breathing.

Make a positivity book, every day you wrote a positive thing that has happened that day. Keep it with the kit, so you can look through it.

Call someone, even if it is the Samaritans, and talk to someone instead. As there will always be someone to listen to you, and sometimes it is easier if you don’t know the person on the end of the phone.

Only worry about the things you need to worry about now. You’ve got plenty of time, and you can do this. Babies need very little when you think about it. And you have time to plan and get what he does need.

Thank you for all of that. I do have a crisis box has a few bits in it. Just having another bath. I like watching random clips on my phone. I may text shout later I've done that a couple times

You sound like you are doing well, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. Being pregnant and having mental health difficulties is hard. Be kind to yourself and recognise how amazing you are doing. And you’ve got all of the hormones going around as well.
I found pregnancy really hard. It’s not all glowing and lovely. And that’s okay, it doesn’t need to be. You just need to get through it. It’s even harder during a pandemic, and you are doing well. Make use of the services that are running, like shout and Samaritans.
Look at it as an opportunity as well. You can use this time to learn some skills to manage your distress. Work through some of the info/worksheets on the website.
Some health boards are running online stress & anxiety management courses online. Keep all of the worksheets that you have done, so that you can see your progress.

@Riggsthedino
You sound like you are doing well OP. I hope you feel a little bit better than earlier. Keep talking. We are here to support you. Do you read? Or watch anything worth sharing? I'm always looking for recommendations 😂

Sounds like you are doing all the right things
Sorry to hear perinatal are being useless !
Keep letting them know how you are doing / what your care needs are,
Don’t let them fob you off !
Check out :
www.harmless.org.uk/
Organisation that helps prevent self harm,
Take care 👍

One thing I did when I was pregnant was search for activities to do in the local area and list them in a OneNote. I separated them by type and included costs. When I finished with the local area, I started going further afield.
I know covid has put a stop to activities for now, but hopefully by the time the baby is born these will be back up and running again. It was great to get excited about the places I wanted to show my little one and interesting to find things I'd never heard of.
Making pinterest boards is also time consuming and great to get lost in. Mine are a little aspirational rather than realistic but it's nice to dream!

I cracked and have self harmed a bit. Not as bad as I have before. I'm a failure amd feel so awful having done it. I'm so disappointed in myself