Most bonkers complaint/dispute you’ve had at work?

[ChooseYourLameName]

Someone rang me today to complain I’d sent them a letter in an envelope I’d licked!

I don’t have any envelopes to lick. They all have a sticky bit you expose by removing the seal.

I couldn’t quite believe it. When I said it really wasn’t licked, he said ‘‘I can smell mouthwash you know!’’ Only satisfied when I said although I really didn’t lick it, I would post any future letters with tape to avoid misunderstanding. The strangest professional call I’ve had to ever take, bloody hell.

What’s your most bonkers dispute?

I once had a colleague complain that my bap was too close to her drink in the fridge and she was vegetarian. I quickly agreed to move it to another shelf but she still didn’t seem pleased it was still close by!

@monstertrucksarebig

I worked in a school with a mad teacher called Robin. She had Robins on everything.

^^ this made me laugh far more than it should.

Me too!

Not me but a colleague - met with a client who at the end of the appointment said "Have a nice day." Colleague replied "thanks, I will." Apparently this was "rude and arrogant" and worthy of a formal complaint

I had a tenant ask for a rent reduction a few months into the lease. Why? The kitchen was too small for her, the stairs were steep and one of the rooms had a boiler in it. All of this was seen in her viewings etc.

A client once complained that I had sighed down the phone to him. I was 21 in my first graduate job and was made to apologise.

It became known as 'sighgate'

Worked in the online dating industry for years. If I had a pound for every complaint from unattractive ageing misogynistic men that the 20 something women on the site are not interested in them, I could probably take early retirement.

That I walked into the road,yes dangerous you might think,except I'm a lollipop lady !

Work in a petrol station. Today my colleague had a customer going nuts at them because we are offering (recyclable) plastic gloves on the forecourt. During a pandemic. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hundreds of people a day use the pumps, we have cases in the immediate area, it’s sadly impossible to sanitise every pump after every customer because we’re running a skeleton staff due to large drop in custom because of lockdown, but yes, yell and abuse us because we’re trying to keep you safe 🤦🏻‍♀️

We also get people complaining there are no gloves during said pandemic... because they don’t read the big bloody neon signs that show where they are.

I had a patient that asked to be moved to another room .According to her the patient in the bed beside her was too ill, if she stayed in the room her mental health would suffer. Nobody had apparently warned her that there were very ill patients in the hospital.The patient in question had only a urinary catheter and a wound drain and was making a good recovery.

I work in HR so I could write a book. This one isn’t quite a dispute or complaint but I love it. I had an employee who came from a very wealthy family. It was a hobby job I think, she was entry level with a low salary and flitted about in her designer clothes and did an ok job. Hated bumping into her in the break out area as she had zero conversation skills.

She got married and then requested a meeting with me. I shit you not when she said (I’ll slightly paraphrase for effect) “daddy cut me off as I got married so I need a pay rise”

It was the pinnacle moment in my HR career....my inside voice could not stop laughing. I professionally explained that any pay rises outside of the usual pay rise window needed to have a business case and justification etc etc. I’m pretty sure she had no idea what I was saying.

I used to work as a florist.
One client was very upset that her peonies died. We asked how long they had lasted. It was about 5 days which I said was normal. She then got really upset, red in the face and declared that peonies are a plant and plants shouldn’t die. We had a heated and bizarre discussion about cut flowers, roots etc... I remember saying it’s a flower and she shouted, “ a flower is a plant! ” at me.
The shocking thing was most of our clients were investment bankers, stockbrokers etc. as we were in the financial district. She was in a business suit so was probably employed in one of these roles( but with a shocking lack of general knowledge.)
She turned into a bit of a legend and we used to have our unofficial slogan; Flowers that die ( said in suitable horror film voice).

This thread is gold

@VenusClapTrap

I did a stint as cabin crew a long time ago. In the dead of night, on a transatlantic flight, a passenger walked into the galley and said “What do you think of this?” as he pulled a flick knife out of his pocket and held it up in front of me.

He then told me he wanted me to file a report to the CAA and the airline security, about the dire state of security at the American airport he had boarded at. He said he pulled this stunt on every flight he took from the US, and that security was appalling and something should be done about it.

I filed that report.

Less than six months later 911 happened. Airport security changed overnight. I have often wondered how he felt about being proved so catastrophically right.

wow i assume this was the states-they were so lax im just not surprised this happened

they used to treat getting on a plane like a bus

Euromillions is drawn on Fridays and is £2.50.

Lottery is drawn on Saturdays and is £2.00.

Customer came in on a Friday, middle aged lady, ordinary looking, and asked for "a lottery ticket for tonight". I asked "do you mean a euro for tonight, or a lottery for tomorrow?".

"I SAID I WANT A LOTTERY FOR TONIGHT!"

I explain which draws are on which night. She shouts at me again "I DONT CARE, I WANT A LOTTERY FOR TONIGHT, NOT A EURO."

This goes on for a good ten minutes with a queue forming and her getting increasingly angry. In the end I say "look, I can't sell you what doesn't exist. What do you want, tonight's euro, tomorrow's lottery or nothing?

Her: OH FOR GODS SAKE I'LL HAVE THE EURO THEN, IT HAS TO BE FOR TONIGHT.

Me: No problem. (Prints ticket). That will be £2.50 then please.

Her: Oh. I've only got £2. I'll bring it in later.

I've never set eyes on this woman before, so I say "no problem. I'll keep your ticket here for when you come back". I'm still waiting - that was in February

I have 2 both from when I worked at a cinema. I was working on the concessions stand when i was approached by a customer who asked how much a hotdog was, who then berated me for a good 20 minutes about how expensive it was and then in the end said 'I'll have one please....' the second one was a woman who approached the ice cream freezer made polite chit chat and then asked me how her teeth looked? I said 'pardon' she asked me again and explained she'd been to the dentist and she wanted to know how her teeth looked before she bought an ice cream with nuts in.....

Not me but I once stayed at a very posh hotel. There was a huge queue the next morning because some man was going through every line item on his room tab and querying the lot. This included the memorable line, 'I know she only had one martini because it's not the kind of drink you have more than one of!' I'm sure he thought he sounded impressive but I was just wishing he'd stop being such a cheapskate and get on with it.

My neighbour regularly got the drill out at 2am.

They called the police on me for threatening them when I posted a note asking for it to stop... because I called them a moron.

It quite spectacularly back fired on them.

A parent complained that I took her son out to play football in the summer term where his team were yellow bibs and that meant the flies were attracted to him.

Same parent complained following year that I had caused her son to have hypothermia from his PE lesson. We were in the sportshall, playing badminton, in September!

I worked as a manager when I was younger at a very prestigious 5* hotel on the seafront. A guest complained about the noise of the seagulls. Even though it was decades ago I remember being momentarily lost for words before replying "but this is a seaside resort ! Of course there are seagulls"

Rift: But it was irrelevant. I had already told him I was the only person if this name. He could have put Ms

When he asked you could have told him to put Ms. That’s what I do. Sounds like you were just being awkward.

@GabsAlot it was British Airways, from the US to London.

A very attractive young lady started dating a colleagues flat mate ..he was I'm love with her himself so dulled and refused to talk to her. He was actually a man in his 30s....he moved out of his flat and back to his parents in Bournemouth- commuting to London every day ! These were both my staff and as a manager I just told him to grow up and act professionally. The atmosphere in the office was unbearable, the girl was in tears most days as he was so horrible to her and he was constantly late due to his silly commute .
He left the company in the end. I was genuinely shocked at his immaturity

• dulled = sulked

Whatelsecouldibecalled can sympathise; I once had a yellow summer dress in my teens, and spent hours flicking greenfly off it!

I worked for directory enquiries about 25 years ago and we'd regularly have callers say can you give me a number for a company called eg AN. "I don't know what it stands for, I don't know where it is and I don't know what kind of company it is - can I have the number?" They were always flabbergasted when I couldn't.

I can't search my work database with 2 letters now, never mind the mid nineties.

that is quite shocking what did you do @venusclaptrap