Wwyd in this situation?

[justleavemebe]

Cleaning my DD's bedroom today and in her toybox I find that she's not only found one of her Xmas presents, but she's opened it got the dolls out and painted the whole front of them in black nail varnish! Dolls were shoved under the toy box.
That's £50 down the drain.
I've told her off and sent her to her room, she hasn't even apologised she just cried when I confronted her about it and couldn't give me an answer to why she would do that.
Her sister thinks I'm being soft and that isn't a good enough punishment.
I'm so pissed off

How old is she?

Btw she's 6

So knows better than to do this.

How old is she?

Does she still believe in Santa?

Was it already wrapped up? And hidden how well?

Oh ffs. That would really piss me off.

How did she find them?

How old is sister?

Her sister doesn’t get any say here and needs to keep her beak out.

Was it already wrapped up? And hidden how well?

Sorry should of explained that it wasn't wrapped but it was in a black bag under her 18 year old sisters bed. A room that is forbidden

I wonder why she painted them black and ruined them? Is she having a hard time somehow? Might this be actions speaking louder than words?

Thinking out loud...

Sorry should of explained that it wasn't wrapped but it was in a black bag under her 18 year old sisters bed. A room that is forbidden

To be fair I can see why her sister is extremely cross. Not only did she find and ruin a present that she didn't know was for her but she also broke the rules and went into her sisters room.

Also being sent to her room is not much of a punishment to be honest, she's presumably got toys in there to play with.

@Iwonder777 I wondered the same when I saw them. I found 3 or 4 of her other favourites dolls in the same condition. I don't understand why she would take it and then do that to it.

@LittleMissLockdown he sister is very angry with her and I can see why. And I know sending her to her room isn't that big a punishment but what else can I do?

[quote justleavemebe]@LittleMissLockdown he sister is very angry with her and I can see why. And I know sending her to her room isn't that big a punishment but what else can I do? [/quote]
I'd probably start by getting her to write an appology to her sister for going into her room.

It might also be worth getting a lock for your eldest so she doesn't have to worry about her sister going into her space again.

It sounds like a bit of a strange thing thing to do, more than just your usual mischief.

6 is very young for everybody to be annoyed with her. Is everything else ok with her? I might be more concerned than annoyed.

I'd be explaining to her that those gifts won't be being replaced, so now she's got so much less for Christmas, and she's already ruined it. For herself.

And I'd be utterly deaf if her sister feels the need to bollock her out for going into her room, and snooping. It serves her right.

Oh, and I'd be taking the dolls and she'd be still getting them for Christmas.

I wouldn't be replacing the dolls or buying an alternative present. They are still her Christmas present.

Okay, I most probably wouldn't re-wrap them and put them under the tree. But they would not be replaced.

I was a super snooper too, and I ruined Christmas for myself at least twice. Mum (for once) didn't go off on one, just explained that I'd done this to myself, and that there were natural consequences for my actions. And I felt 'that' small. . .

Painting dolls in black varnish sounds a bit sinister - could your DD be upset about something?

If they were in a black bag could she not have thought they were destined for a rubbish bin and therefore would be ok to see what it felt like to do something she normally wouldn't? It's easy to see how she wouldn't have thought they were Christmas presents and also thought nobody would notice or care.

Besides, even otherwise sensible children sometimes do silly impulsive things. They're children, not miniature adults. Their brains are different, their impulse control is different, their ability to see the bigger picture is vastly reduced compared to adults.

And we all do dumb stuff sometimes that we can't explain or feel embarrassed or ashamed about afterwards.

There's a reason for the black painting that's screaming out to be addressed...most normal children would have just played with them happily...

Did she assume her sister had and didn't want the dolls that she really wanted?

Jesus she's 6! That's not that old.

The consequence is simply that she's down a Christmas present. Your 18 year old should not be telling you how to parent. This doesn't need a harsh punishment as there is a natural consequence.

Black varnish, why did she choose that?
You should get your older dd a lock for her door.

@GreyWall

There's a reason for the black painting that's screaming out to be addressed...most normal children would have just played with them happily...

I mean....I got a doll for Christmas one year, I was about the same age. I cut all her hair off within about an hour of opening her, my mum was very upset. Honestly couldn’t tell you why I did it. I wasn’t acting out or anything, it was just a stupid thing I did. So it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than a thoughtless kid being thoughtless.