Would you attend a peaceful protest if a convicted paedophile moved into your street?

[thefourgp]

I’ve never attended anything similar before and I’m in two minds about going. He was convicted (I’ve read the newspaper articles which show his photo) and has been released after serving half his sentence. I don’t know if he owns the property but he’s moved in with his wife who stood by him. There’s a peaceful protest being arranged. Would you go?

I think the huge problem we have on this thread is the difference between people who are fuelled by what they feel and those who are not.

All actions have consequences. The rape of a child is obviously going to have dramatic, awful and life changing consequences for that child, and it’s horrific and it’s wrong. It should never happen.

I do understand why people say ‘they should never be let out’ but a PP has already explained more eloquently than me why this isn’t possible or practical. The main reasons, for me, are because it would mean the chances of them getting off are more likely. My other consideration here is that it might just increase the chances of a child being murdered after the rape: if you know you’ve no chance of seeing the light of day again either way, it’s quite likely you might just want to remove your main witness.

People still keep coming back with yet more impossible suggestions, so bizarre they aren’t even suggestions - ‘put them on an island somewhere, castrate them, just put them far away from me.’ These are all borne from emotion. They aren’t remotely practical.

Caring about where a child sex offender ends up does not mean that you care about their individual sensibilities. It is about knowledge and about information. To put it another way, if I travel to a remote part of Africa, I don’t really have any sentimental feelings towards a mosquito that might bite me. I’ll make damn sure I know about where they are likely to be and protect myself against them. Standing in a remote part of Kenya wailing that the mosquitos need to fuck off and go elsewhere isn’t really going to help, is it?

The unfortunate fact is that there are people, overwhelmingly men, who want to harm children. We know this, it was ever thus. We are not curtailing our children’s freedom by taking sensible precautions for their safety. Because even if we could ‘round them up and send them to live on an island’ that only accounts for the ones who have been caught, doesn’t it?

How does it work when this happens? Do neighbours get notified? I think next door neighbours definitely should, and have some say in it. I would be moving if they were next to me.
But I wouldn’t attend a protest. I can see the awkward situation you are in though, that if you don’t, it may be viewed that you agree with him being there? Which obviously isn’t the case

I think what this thread has taught us is that it really is a man's world.

Not really, because women can be paedophiles as well. Admittedly this is far less common, but they certainly exist - Vanessa George, for example.

To an extent it’s true it’s a mans world.

If men were removed from the planet, we would dramatically reduce violence, sexually motivated crimes, abuse and murder. Not eradicate entirely, but significantly reduce.

However, since we have a way to go before that happens, what do we do in the interim? Send our children out to play unsupervised because they should have that right?

If men were removed from the planet, we would dramatically reduce violence, sexually motivated crimes, abuse and murder. Not eradicate entirely, but significantly reduce. And the species would die out, given you need men to actually pro create.

@howaboutholly

To an extent it’s true it’s a mans world.

If men were removed from the planet, we would dramatically reduce violence, sexually motivated crimes, abuse and murder. Not eradicate entirely, but significantly reduce.

However, since we have a way to go before that happens, what do we do in the interim? Send our children out to play unsupervised because they should have that right?

I'm not convinced that women wouldn't, over time, evolve to fill that gap.

No,
At least you know where he is.
DH has a friend who's mother's husband had been in prison for several years for child abuse charges. He's due to be released from prison and plans to move back home with his wife. It's his house too so she feels she has no choice.
I'd hate to see her suffer for his actions.

It's a man's world because it's the patriarchy which made the laws in the first place, the court system and most importantly the sentencing tariffs. They are so abysmally soft for a reason when it comes to crimes which affect children (and sex crimes against women) and that won't change.

gabs that's what she's telling people, but the truth is she must want to stay with her abusive husband and supports him. I have no time for women like that.

It is to do with testosterone levels, I believe witches

Not all violence and aggression is inherently bad or evil. But female dominated societies are less violent. They have other problems of course.

alternative you do realise I wasn’t seriously suggesting eradicating the male line as a solution?

@LilacPebbles

gabs that's what she's telling people, but the truth is she must want to stay with her abusive husband and supports him. I have no time for women like that.

Or perhaps she has been abused by him too and is scared of him and of what might happen she doesn't let him back home.

Nope. Richard she could've accessed all the help for domestic violence she needed whilst he was locked up. I've been abused myself and it's insulting to think adult victims would accept child abuse.
You wouldn't be able to stop me from getting a divorce and sorting the house situation if I found myself married to a convicted paedophile.
I'm quite sick of hearing and reading about women compartmentalising their partner's child sex crimes and being able to share a bed with such a man. It would knock any decent person sick.
The way laws and Acts were made were in response to behaviour deemed socially deviant and unacceptable, over time. The only way to tackle in a small part, is to make this behaviour seen as utterly deviant and not tolerated. Build up such a stigma that the perpetrator can be sure he will lose all his relationships. We need to stop minimising these crimes, and opening up homes to abusers. It's worrying the excuses I've seen for some men. 'He's a pillar of the community', 'I've got children with him', 'he didn't know what he was searching for', 'he's been depressed'. Nope.

I always thought the police kept a close eye on convicted paedophiles and they had a support worker in the force who was on call for them. I didn't know they were allowed to return home after serving their sentence but would be housed somewhere away from where they are known.

Just shows what I know.

I would have sympathy for the wife at the point her husband’s crimes came to light and he was charged. Because sadly at that point people will associate her with him.

But if she chose to stand by him I absolutely wouldn’t even give her the time of day.

I think that blood relatives are potentially more complicated. Personally if a relative of mine were convicted of child sex crimes I would change my name so as to not be associated with them, the same with other awful violent crimes.

But relationships with e.g. parents or children can be more complicated than that, and I think it’s less easy to judge those.

"We are led to believe it’s a mental illness ergo rehabilitation is a possibility. Then surely they should be locked up in secure mh facilities?"

A paedophile may have mental health issues but paedophilia itself is not a mental illness and cannot be cured. It's a learned behaviour which often starts off as a morbid curiosity in someone with few or no moral boundaries. What can be achieved in some cases is learning to avoid situations and self control but they have to want that.

These people are often very manipulative and plausible, they can twist those trying to help them around their little fingers.

Being in the company of others with the same inclinations, group therapy etc, is not alway helpful.

I've read a lot of this thread but not all. What did this particular man do resulting in his conviction (we don't have to know gory details), and why is his wife standing by him? Does she believe he was wrongly convicted and is innocent?

It's beyond me why she - and he - do not move, either separately or together.

@jessstan1 if a sex offender is released on licence OR given a Community Order they will have a Probation Officer and a Police Offender Manager. If someone is released on licence, any housing will be subject to prior approval and risk assessment.

I agree Alternative. It would be devastating for the wife. It's a loss for them. But I couldn't associate with anyone who chose to stay with a paedophile. They become enablers and untrustworthy at that point.
I couldn't morally be around, or have my children around any relative found to be one, either. A friend's children were on at risk registers at one point (maybe they still are?) because of something their grandad did. It brought shame on the whole family even though it wasn't their shame and broke my friend's heart but she would never have condoned him seeing her children ever again even without them having to be on the register.

A loss for her*

Reprehensible though you may find his wife's behaviour, she is not the one who comitted a crime. And yet I would bet money that when a mostly-male vigilante mob attack the house, that mob will target her.

the ones I know of all live where they did before they were caught.

One lives and works at his parents seaside hotel. they were very defensive of him at the time of his conviction (15+ years ago). he spends his life around loads of families who are relaxed and off guard. the staff are seasonal so won't have a clue. he DJ's kids discos and party games while the parents get pissed in the bar, he is very popular by all accounts. game of Twister anyone?

Another got into running and joined a club, he competes a bit and volunteers. Its sociable but an otherwise disparate group so quite easy to ooze his way into. He is a dad, his abuse didn't involve his own DC and wasn't physical, his wife divorced him & left the area. You wouldn't want him swapping cozy bonding parenting stories with your DH but if they run together he no doubt will be grooming. He's not supposed to have internet but he's even on facebook. the police didn't want to know.

the family member talked the talk with the authorities and is laughing up his sleeve. He's been out for quite a while and has dated women, single vulnerable mothers. when his family found out they reported him, he complained of harassment, his exBiL had a visit from the police.

All of them behave like they are misunderstood, wronged people. they're slime.

@safariboot the sad thing is, some of the posters on this thread would have no problem with that.

Safariboot you'd think they'd go after the one who committed the crime, wrong though it may be.
But no, it's still not acceptable to me to be with someone so deviant who has caused so much pain. Birds of a feather flock together.

I remember, many years ago, there was a case either on the Isle of Man or Isle of Wight of a paedophile who molested his young wife's children. She wasn't much more than a child herself, had been abused and had two little kids; he was an older man who 'took care of her' and married her when she was about 20.

Much later on it came to light that he had sexually abused young children including his stepchildren.

He was out on bail pending sentencing and living in his house, with her. She was taking care of him, felt she had no choice. Of course, her now grown up kids would have nothing to do with her but she wanted to protect him, now an elderly man, from vigilanteism. She believed that was the right thing to do, whilst not condoning his crimes. I've no idea what happened later, if she kept the home going while he was in prison or what.

She honestly did not realise that not only had he abused her children, he had groomed and abused her! She just could not see it.

I often wonder what happened to her later on.

There are sex offenders everywhere at least you know his address and that he is under restrictions

It's not fair on the neighbours is it to have protest outside their house?

The fact he served half his sentence suggest he is less if a threat that others

Most peedophiles have particular preferences for girls or boys and a certain age range ( generally )

Most offenders have to work hard grooming a child known to them before they attack

From reading the thread it seems some people will accept living near child sex offenders, some will not.

So surely a protest is a great way of naking it clear whether or not you will accept these in your neighborhood?
Some areas will protest, some wont. Send them to live with the people who dont.

(Its also worth pointing out not all protests end in violent fiery deaths as some have suggested).