What would you say to your 18-year-old self?

[bearlyactive]

This has probably been done before, but a group chat of mine was talking about this earlier and I didn't know what to say!

What would you say?

Don’t ever take up smoking! What a waste of money (gave up years ago but it still annoys me that I ever did)

He’s not the one. Have fun but move on. The one is hiding in plain sight

Treasure your friends. They are so important

Join a gym and get fit now rather than trying in your 40s

Have loads of safe sex with loads of different men

@notcreativeforacoolname

Stop on your current path and go to college get more qualifications and pick a new career path, settle down sooner and buy a house. I was never taught any life skills by my parents. I only settled down recently and started a family and bought a house and I'm pushing 40. Left it all too late. Also my industry has gone down the pan so I now have an average non skilled job and life isn't easy.

Agreed with that.

Left school at 16 didn't go to college until 20 (secretarial course) and so wish I'd done a bit more with my life then. I should've taken more qualifications when younger (bad schools, bullying etc) but didn't. I did buy a house at a normal age but got divorced and got a sizeable mortgage on this one.

I'm still also torn about kids - should I have had them or not? but panicked about being a single parent like DM and had termination at 17 and then miscarriage at 21. All through my 20s/30s I was petrified of getting pregnant did anything not to even with ex-DH (he was ok I just didn't want kids with him!) yet maternal instinct was still strong there up until now (late 40s!).

Don't stress so much. I was a rather anxious teenager and I think it held me back from having fun sometimes.

My main advice (not necessarily at 18) for my younger self would be to hang on in there, don't be so impatient and leave a horrible flat-share, job etc - things do get better - be patient.

Love yourself. Be more confident in your looks, abilities etc.

I think yoga and meditation (not hatha yoga) would have helped my younger self a great deal but wasn't trendy when I was 18, at all!

Don't worry so much, and try to enjoy life a bit more. It will all work out nicely in a few years.

Spend every penny you have from now until your mid 20's travelling the world.

Go for a job you’ll love, not something with an illusion of security. Also, learn about red flags with men, expect to be loved and respected and nurtured and bin them if they don’t exhibit those behaviours. Do not waste time waiting for eejits to change their ways.

Don't get into that relationship. You might learn a lot about emotional abuse but you could get so many better experiences with the next 7 years .

Have some bloody confidence. You are slim and gorgeous and that won’t always be the case. Play around, stop looking for the serious relationship, that guy who makes your Fanny gallop fancies you, jump on him !

Value yourself more,stay away from the bad boys and the vodka

You're not crazy. Don't let your fears get in the way, you are a lot tougher than you and others give you credit for. They aren't worthy of you.

Doubt I would listen to myself, didn't listen in my early 20's when someone said similar. But maybe it would have sunk in sooner than when it finally did.

Don't marry him.
Leave your parents' home.
Get therapy.
Believe in who you are. Beautiful, intelligent.
Don't blame yourself - you have had support from no-one, ever.
Learn belly dance and yoga.
It's ok not to be a nun.
A lot of your thinking is Victorian, because of your upbringing, and religious, because that's all you have. Let it go. It's ok to be free. It doesn't matter if you fall.
Have a good time.

Oh, and move to bloody Ireland. That feeling you've always had that you should be there - it never goes away.

Your life is about you . Your feelings matter, but so do those of others. Realise that your brain enjoys telling stories to piece together fragments of info, which is helpful in a creative sense but not always accurate. Never make a man the centre of the universe. Other people's opinions aren't the most important thing. Look out for lovebombing. If you find yourself mutually attracted to a woman, got for it. Not everyone who calls themselves a friend is worthy of the name. If people are repeatedly hurtful, bin them. Oh, and your mum's a narcissist. That's why you secretly suspect she's jealous of you. Don't go running from one relationshipto another to fill the void. Always earn your own money.

@WomenAndVulvas

Have loads of safe sex with loads of different men

This! I really wanted to, but just didn't have the confidence. Still don't, and the chances are getting fewer and farther between.

Play the field a bit more (so to speak)
Don't marry young

Unless they are close friend or family. It doesnt matter what other people think.

I think I'd say well done on the A level results and party on dude!

Also you are bi

Stop trying to please everybody!
Save money.
Try and get on the housing ladder.
Maintain friendships.
Don't smoke.

Calm TF down girl!!!

Love yourself

Go back to college, you're brighter than you think you are but you're wasting it.

Move out of home, don’t go back there in the uni holidays. Earn as much as you can and spend it all on therapy. You’re very traumatised and life will be miserable until you’ve done a lot of work to undo the programming.

And I’d hug her and never want to let go.

Stop drinking and dont cut your own hair

Get on the property ladder now (waited another 6 years)
Don’t worry about hanging around the most popular people stay with the genuine and kind group
You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok