Adult ADHD support thread

[Completmentfille]

Hi,

I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD last year at the grand old age of 30 and am medicated. Medication very much helps but I still struggle with lots of things day to day, and lockdown has not helped.

I just wondered if there were any more of us about and if a support thread would be helpful?

[JoeCalFuckingZaghe]

For those will a diagnosis, how did you go about approaching this with your doctor?

I was diagnosed with GAD and depression several years ago, but have often suspected that I had something else wrong. Been researching a lot and do think I have some ADHD traits which I think is worth exploring but I tried to raise this with my doctor and he basically dismissed me and told me to focus on the GAD and CBT (which didn’t help!). I’m wary to bring it up again.

[Coppercreek]

Popping over to say hey!

I've been on waiting list with NHS in our area for what feels like forever. Can I be nosey and ask what people have paid for a private diagnosis? Can you then get the meds on NHS.

Reading about ADD in girls was like a light bulb going off.

Hyperfocusing on a show/band/hobby and then dropping it.

Being academically able but failing at GCSE because I couldn't focus and organise time enough to do coursework.

Constantly being late for things, being late paying things even though I've got the money just not organised, losing things, forgetting to do important things.

If I start a book or tv series etc I cannot do anything else until I finish it, often neglecting work and other commitments to finish.

Being fired from jobs for making silly mistakes due to not concentrating, leaving things to the last minute, missing deadlines despite having plenty of time etc

[xtinak]

From a recommendation by someone on Mumsnet I went to Psychiatry UK. They explain their process of transferring you to care of your GP after private assessment and prescribing or, if you are in England, you can access their service on the NHS in theory. The process explained on the website. I think other providers are the same.

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

I’ve got an appointment coming up with Psychiatry U.K. They seem to be really well recommended. £360 for the initial appointment but there will be further costs for prescriptions if needed, and follow ups. I’m hoping I can transfer to the GP for shared care, if I get diagnosed.

[Nearlysantatime]

Good luck @Cherryblossomandcornflakes. Would love to hear how you get on. I’m desperate but can’t commit to £800ish just now. Hopefully I’m overestimating though.

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

Thank you Nearlysantatime. I’m nervous but kind of excited too. I’ve known there was “something” for quite a long time but only joined the dots for ADHD recently.
It is a lot of money. If you are in England NearlySanta there is a scheme where you can get it for free on NHS so it might be well worth looking into it. It’s called Right to Choose and PsychiatryUK are set up for it. There is another thread somewhere where a mumsnetter was seen within a few weeks, paid for by NHS.

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

Coppercreek, you sound like my twin...

[Coppercreek]

Cherryblossom it is so frustrating, I wake every day promising myself today I will do better at adulting but I never do and am constantly disappointed with myself.

It puts pressure on my relationship with DP as he obviously finds it frustrating when I lose things, forget to pay things or just generally forget things.

It also means I struggle to manage my kids time well too.

Will look into psychiatry uk

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

Copper - that’s exactly me. I’ve done a lot of work on my self esteem recently and it’s only in the last few weeks that I’ve allowed myself to realise that I’ve judged myself pretty harshly for being unable to adult, most days.

[Nearlysantatime]

I’m not in England unfortunately!

I know what you mean about DP Copper. My poor husband works all the hours god gives but has to do so much more at home than he should have to.

[newlabelwriter]

Can anyone tell me how medication has helped? I'm going to look into a private diagnosis and wondered how different people feel with the meds? TIA

[doctorboo]

@newlabelwriter We unwittingly ended up with a double supply of my sons meds during lockdown #1 while camhs and my gp sorted out a blip in shared care. Neither wanted them back (I did contact them) and after a couple of months he went down to just getting them from the GP.
In the name of science I was struggling, GP was emergency callback only at the time and I knew I couldn’t just stim with a blanket and my headphones on 24/7 for months with three children home I used them.
It wasn’t a miraculous cure for my symptoms but I found that it...took the edge off? I was less likely to meltdown from overloads and my executive functioning increased as I was more a bit more focused. The difference was enough that I’m now actively trying to get my GP to refer me. I think the fact that I have one son diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and another waiting for assessment will help.
I work part time in a school and spend 99% of my time using every technique I’ve learnt/bumbled along with for 30+ years to get through each day. Not because the children are super hard work, they’re lovely, but because it’s intense and I struggle to manage myself and them

[BippityBoppity87]

I posted this on another thread, but I haven't had a reply yet.

I've been given Concerta XL 18mg. I didn't notice any huge differences, maybe because it's only a small dose. At most, I felt a bit calmer, as in less on edge. If anything I could have gone for a nap lol. Not sure if that's normal or not

[OrangeDino]

Hello, I wonder of I could join you. I have been thinking about the possibility of having ADHD for a number of years but haven't got a diagnosis. The one time I braved talking to a GP about it he said he would refer me but didn't. I was pregnant at the time and think I was dismissed as a crazy hormonal woman!! That was about 4 years ago and I haven't addressed it since, although I have been thinking about it again recently because of issues at work.

OP your list is scary because it describes me completely (although I am always late too!) and it's striking to see it spelled out.

I feel I need to try to get a diagnosis but not really sure how to go about it. I am tempted to go private but we can't really afford it at the minute. I feel a diagnosis would help me make sense of things, although I'm unsure about medication (no logical reason why).

Anyway, thanks for reading. As someone said near the start of the thread, I'll probably get distracted and disappear soon but I appreciate reading your experiences and hopefully it'll spur me on to do something. Thanks for starting the thread OP. :)

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

Hi bibbity - did you get your diagnosis just a few days ago? How do you feel? I can imagine mixed feelings ? It might be that the dose is so small, but if it goes up in the next few days that might make a difference.
Hi Orangedino, welcome! Read up the thread a bit about Psychiatry UK and right to choose, you might be able to get a referral without having to pay. Hope that helps a bit.

[BertieBotts]

@OhioOhioOhio

Can I ask why its easier once you are diagnosed?

For me it was like night and day - it was just a complete mental shift.

Before I was diagnosed I thought it wouldn't make much difference and I could still do all the tips to help people with ADHD etc since I was having the same problems so they may help me too.

However, it did make a massive difference. I can't really put my finger on what exactly it is, but it was the difference between

"I might have this problem, I'll just do some of these things, but I don't really have the right to claim any of it so I'll hover on the sidelines, and try the things half heartedly, because I don't know if it's really right for me"

and

"No, you REALLY DO have a problem. You're NOT imagining things. Your brain chemistry is actually out of sync. Stop trying to do this thing, it's not a reasonable expectation because of your disorder. Do it that way instead, that is going to work better for you."

I also felt as though I had a valid place at support groups etc (BTW I always think these threads are a valid place for anyone who identifies with the difficulties and struggles, so please don't think I'm not thinking undiagnosed people aren't welcome. It was purely an unconscious thought I had about myself.)

I suppose it was like a straight line was drawn under things and I stopped wondering and started accepting. From people I've spoken to, I don't think everyone needs diagnosis for this change to take place, but for me I absolutely did.

[BertieBotts]

I find with medication I don't lose large chunks of time - unmedicated I tend to look up from my computer and it's 4pm and I have no idea where the day went. With medication it's still 9am.

I also seem to have more foresight so I can think I will need X later - and actually sort it out in advance rather than it coming as a total surprise to me, in the 2 minutes that I need to run for the bus. However this is still quite rare, so I'm prepared in advance for about 5% of things instead of nothing. Don't get me wrong, it's an improvement, but I still feel overall impaired. And lockdowns/social distancing/total lack of structure thanks to the whole pandemic has totally fucked up most of my coping mechanisms as well so I'm floundering a lot.

Those are the only two benefits for me currently. And if I accidentally let the level dip too low then I get incredibly sleepy. I'm planning to speak to my doctor at my next appointment about trying Strattera as it's supposed to do (brain chemistry wise) what my current (non ADHD/off label) med does but more effectively.

Most ADHD medications aren't like mine - I take an antidepressant so it takes a while for the level to build up in the body. With ADHD medication usually you take it, it takes effect for the next X hours and then wears off. So if you don't like it or it doesn't work, you get extremely quick feedback and you can change the dose or try a different one.

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

Bertie, that makes so much sense. Thanks for that. I think that’s what I was wondering might happen. Knowing that you Really do, I think that’s what I’m looking for. Validation, I’m not lazy or stupid or anything else. Will hopefully find out next week!

[BertieBotts]

The sad/embarrassing thing is I don't seem to have had the same solid line moment for DS1 - I pushed for assessment for him, because he is so similar to me and we got a diagnosis, but then I couldn't get in with the therapist she recommended and I went on a waiting list for another and then never heard back from her again but because DS1 isn't having any specific issues at school or with behaviour, nothing is really pushing me to go for any therapy. And maybe we don't really need to, if that's the case, but I feel really guilty about it if I think about it too much

[dramaqueen]

Hi, undiagnosed ADHD here. My DS (19 yrs) is currently going through assessment before he goes to uni next year, and investigating it for him made me realise that I too have it.

I am constantly irritated by how slow the world works,
can daydream through an entire board meeting yet come out with a solution which everyone has been debating for an hour,
interrupt people at whim because I know what they're going to say,
have yet to sit through a file without asking who the main character is,
pick up fines all over the place for parking (and a few speeding)
manage my work life through deadlines
am impulsive and a risk taker (bought a flat sight unseen)

And so on. I'm not sure about getting diagnosed as I'm starting to manage myself by reading up on strategies, especially about the impulsivity.

Lovely to have a thread to join, though i doubt I'll remember to look again 🤯

By the way, for anyone wanting to read up on it there's a great website
www.additudemag.com

Apologies if someone else has mentioned it, obviously i haven't RTFT

[BippityBoppity87]

Hi @Cherryblossomandcornflakes
I wasn't really shocked when I my psych told me. They had mentioned it around about June/July time, but I had to have a few chats and assessments first to see if it was appropriate for me to be put on medication. Now I've had time for it to sink in, I'm feeling a bit, oh great another diagnoses added

I think I need to ask for a report as I can't remember what he said I'm very good at looking like I am listening, but probably have taken in about a quarter of what that person has said

Anyway, I'm sure he said that I can take two tablets, if I don't feel like it's doing anything, does that sound about right? So that would be 36mg. He also said I didn't have to take it everyday if I didn't want to. I'be been given a months worth and he said to ring him at anytime. But I feel like a right idiot if I ring up saying erm...yeah you know that assessment I just had? I can't remember what you said..

[BippityBoppity87]

Just realised I used the word "said" way too much there!

[Cherryblossomandcornflakes]

Bippity, given the nature of the work, I'm sure he wouldn't be surprised! I would expect there to be a written report though. I too am excellent at looking like I'm listening, I nod and smile in all the right places and haven't actually a clue...
.

[NoTimeToDiet]

But I feel like a right idiot if I ring up saying erm...yeah you know that assessment I just had? I can't remember what you said..

Yes I wonder if they have this kind of thing built into their systems, like sending double the number of appointment reminders or saying “we know you probably meant to book an appointment and still want one, so this is your 11th reminder...”

[happy97]

After spending most of my adult life feeling so shit about my constant underachieving and disorganisation I have found my people. As a PP said, I explored it because of my teenage son but I'm convinced I have it too.

I have also had an unplanned pregnancy because I was lax with contraception. Lost jobs or been encouraged to leave because of disorganisation. Huge debt problems.

But...my family are so used to me being shit, won't they all just think this is a cop out? Another excuse for being so crap with life and adulting?

And I'm 47?!