Adult ADHD support thread

[Completmentfille]

Hi,

I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD last year at the grand old age of 30 and am medicated. Medication very much helps but I still struggle with lots of things day to day, and lockdown has not helped.

I just wondered if there were any more of us about and if a support thread would be helpful?

@Completmentfille

It also helped with my MH conditions as it basically turned out that the anxiety and depression I'd suffered my whole life were a byproduct of untreated, undiagnosed ADHD.

That's really interesting. I'm going to do some research

I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, also on elvanse.

Most of those symptoms describe me as well.

Mostly it presents as issues with executive functions - aka adulting. It makes me very hard to live with I think.

Place marking to come back.

My DH definitely finds it hard to live with although he's probably used to me by now.

He doesn't take it personally if I point something out to him and he's like "erm, I told you that about 10 minutes ago." (wasn't listening!)

I lose a lot of things which he does find annoying. I am on my fourth debit card this year. That's one thing the medication doesn't seem to help with.

lots of ADHD'ers are chronically late. That's one problem I don't have. I have the opposite if anything.

A diagnosis gives you access to medication. ADHD is one of the most treatable psychological disorders, according to Russell Barkley.

I feel like ADHD has massively hampered my life. I've done utterly stupid things thanks to it, even though I'm fairly intelligent! I've done stuff like thrown away 2 years of work on a degree course because I forgot to go to the exams (I was in a different country). Didn't get around to replying to an email about a job application which I really wanted and they wanted me

I have ended up with massive debts because I forgot to submit a form for something official, and so was considered overpaid, even though I was actually entitled to whatever it was. Erm, twice

Got pregnant at 19 to a scumbag because I couldn't be bothered to take contraception properly and I procrastinated leaving the relationship even though I knew it was unhealthy.

Fucked up all education efforts since I was about 14/expected to actually organise my own time. There's no change from my y10 mock GCSE results to my y11 actual GCSE results.

There are other things I'm too ashamed to list

[quote Blibbyblobby]@Completmentfille

My main ADHD symptoms on the basis of which I was diagnosed are:

Thank you, that's really helpful. I appreciate this isn't about me but I nodded to every single one! It's hard to say if the traits are significant enough to affect my life because I'm pretty successful and found a niche where context switching and bouts of hyperfocus are valued, but I have a sense of self-sabotage and making things harder for myself by making them complicated enough to hold my focus. (Plus on the personal side, interruption and inattention are not endearing qualities )

I will be lurking with interest.[/quote]
May I ask what you work in? Just being curious.

I've done stuff like thrown away 2 years of work on a degree course because I forgot to go to the exams (I was in a different country)

I've done similar things. I spent 4.5k on a professional qualification a few years back which was a total waste as I just didn't bother to book any of the exams.

I was dx about 4 years ago, already then over 50. I identified with everything on your list; everything is just so slow! Two of my DC have it, both dx at 7yo. One is 31 and the other 13 and they are totally different.

I am also on Elvanse and it dulls the rage. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since my teens, but been told my experts that it was caused by my upbringing, along with my desperate need for perfection. My house, desk, car etc look like a teen bedroom but if I can't score 100% on a quiz I give up.

@Nosnogginginthekitchen

Business analyst and project manager in Technology. I know, seems like that would need a hyper-organised, very much not ADD person, right? I've got meetings for the next few hours but I'll come back to explain it a bit more later

Afternoon my assessment is on the 20th of November. I had a mini screening a couple of months ago. It’s actually my psychiatrist (who specialises in adhd) and cpn who brought it up. My primary diagnoses is bipolar, diagnosed two years ago. But yes it all makes sense

Anyone else here have both?

Executive function - the 'adulting' part is wrong.

Prioritising tasks, getting everything together to perform a task, putting everything back once I've performed a task and remembering everything needed to perform the task again.

I have multiple 'kits' now, where certain tools (paper, scissors, pens etc) are gathered together in places around the house where certain tasks are performed....

EG I don't struggle with punctuality. I'm never late. If anything I have the opposite - if I know I've got to be somewhere at a certain time I hyperfocus on it and can't concentrate on anything else

I’m exactly the same. Hate being late. It causes extreme stress and I end up getting all flustered. However I have terrible time blindness. 15 minutes for the bus? Plenty of time! Quick look on fb and arghh!! 5 minutes?! How did that happen! Running down the road panicking nearly missing it. Happens way too often and I never learn!

My adult son 1 was finally diagnosed at 12 but I was pulling my hair out at the time. He was medicated with Ritaline and went from bottom set to top set over a 2 month period. He moved up for every subject. When he was in late teens he cut back on medication as he felt he had improved after puberty. He now does not take medication but has a job where he is in a different place each day which helps. Younger son was diagnosed at 7 and medicated with Ritaline. He has always done well at school from time he was medicated. I feel guilty I did not get older son on medication sooner as younger son has much better qualifications as he never fell behind whereas older son did. I have a lot of ADHD in my family. Some have been medicated and others not. It is no coincidence that the ones who were medicated fared far better in school which has given them better life chances. If you have a child with ADHD give them a chance in life let them be medicated until through puberty.

It’s actually my psychiatrist (who specialises in adhd) and cpn who brought it up. My primary diagnoses is bipolar, diagnosed two years ago. But yes it all makes sense

Anyone else here have both?

Bipolar was suggested, among many other things, some years back, but I just knew that wasn't what it was. It didn't tally.

According to my psychiatrist, ADHD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar, although of course it can be a comorbidity too, as in your case.

I'm almost certain that my mum and sister both have it too but they are very anti-label so I would never suggest it to them. They don't even know that I've got it.

I have found My Peoples!!

The list of symptoms written by the OP is honestly a carbon copy of me. I am late though! For as long as I can remember I’ve always worked out how long it would take me to get ready to go somewhere then waited until exactly then to start getting organised rather than just getting ready as soon as I can. Then it inevitably takes way longer than I estimated and then I’m late!

I used to think I was quite special being able to read book and watch tv at the same time as well as being on an off my phone all the time. No, that’s just me needing multiple sources of stimulation.

When people talk about Adult ADHD they often wonder why it’s so important to people to get a diagnosis. I’ll be honest ... I want the meds! I am sick of my life being so bloody difficult because of the way I am. Having to do an assault course to get round my bedroom, having to search through multiple baskets of washing to locate two matching and clean socks (not paired obv) and just all these other things. I’m so exhausted from trying so hard to adult all week that at the weekend I barely move!

Constantly making mistakes at work and I’m so lucky that everyone in my office is so chatty because they don’t notice how often I need to take little breaks. Working from home is almost killing me.

My sister almost definitely has it but she has different symptoms to me. She is very slow to process things and is also absolutely chronically late.

She is also very loud and extrovert whereas I am an introvert (but I do have a motor mouth on me)

I’ll be honest ... I want the meds! I am sick of my life being so bloody difficult because of the way I am

Totally get it. Same for me. Taking meds was like putting on glasses and finally being able to see properly.

But in the 2-3 weeks between my diagnosis and starting meds, I was already glad I'd done it - I just felt validated. There was a reason for the way I am and isn't just that I'm lazy and don't apply myself.

I’ve been told that by a few people before @Completmentfille which could be a possibility, I’m not ruling it out. However I’ve been hospitalised due my bipolar in the past, plus a few manic episodes also witness by my psychiatrist so I don’t think that it will be coming off my notes anytime soon. I could be wrong though

That must be so frustrating with your mum and sister! My dad is the same, very kind of anti -mental health per se, even though his brother (my uncle) has quite severe adhd

I can see so many of my symptoms in my daughter. The thought of the fight I may have on my hands for her later in life fills me with dread.

OP do you mind me asking if it was an expensive process to be diagnosed?

It seems to be a condition people don’t want to tell people about. I’ve seen that on other threads and I know myself I wouldn’t tell anyone when I get my diagnosis.

It's totally possible for ADHD to exist alongside bipolar. I never had any sort of mania at all which is why I was sure it wasn't that - my hyperfocus was occasionally seen as mania. I don't have any of the risky behaviour you often see with bipolar either - I definitely make impulsive decisions which I sometimes regret, but no history of recreational drug taking or other risky behaviour etc.

I think that's why it went undetected for so long. My teachers didn't give a shit because I got passing grades without really working for them. As long as I wasn't causing trouble that was fine with them. But I never fulfilled my potential, IME.

So where would I start looking for a diagnosis?
I'm late 30s, in the UK. if those make any difference

I started with my GP but got nowhere as she didn't really understand the condition and just thought it was hyperactivity and nothing else. Got fobbed off with anti depressants and CBT for years. Got misdiagnosed with OCD and had treatment for that.

Eventually I got talking to a psychiatrist through work who suggested I might have the combined type, did a little reading and it sounded exactly like me. Went to GP, got fobbed off. Then did some research and found Psychiatry UK, who diagnosed me. You can be referred to them on the NHS but I couldn't face the inevitable battle (ADHD impatience!) so I just went private. Luckily I could afford to do so.

I think that's why it went undetected for so long. My teachers didn't give a shit because I got passing grades without really working for them. As long as I wasn't causing trouble that was fine with them. But I never fulfilled my potential, IME

Oh gosh, sounds familiar. That old chest of “naughty boy syndrome” 🙄 so it couldn’t possibly be adhd. I know what you mean. I managed to get a degree, but I barely passed. Some might see that as somewhat of a success academically, but I definitely never reached my potential