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Original poster

We won't know our child's gender until they're 18

107 replies

shouldhavecalleditoatabix · 27/10/2020 20:14

Is it just me or has the world gone crazy? Why is it such a problem to accept biological gender these days? Sure we need to address so many things in society including misogyny, hate, homophobia but why does that start with denying gender? We are born different. Each and every one of us. But we do have genetically defined sex. Nothing anyone does or says can change that. It is the fundamental basics of continuing to reproduce. Surely we should be addressing the acceptance of individuality and embracing the fact that anyone can look and act however they choose.  Emily Ratajkowski announces pregnancy - and says she won't reveal baby's gender news.sky.com/story/emily-ratajkowski-announces-pregnancy-and-says-she-wont-reveal-babys-gender-12115759

OP posts:
IEat · 27/10/2020 22:17

If the child does any kind of biology at school /has friends /goes through puberty they'll know well before they're 18. I get some people want the child to decide their gender but fgs you're born with a gender.

SunshineCake · 27/10/2020 22:18

Paloma Faith has a girl.

fairynick · 27/10/2020 22:21

I’d like to suggest a reverse and ask people on this thread what they would say or think if their son turned around age 8, 10, or 13 and said “mum I’m a girl, I’m a trans girl”. I’m pretty sure many of you would say “you don’t know until you’re older, you’re too young enough to know”.
So you can know your gender as a child when you’re cis, but not when you’re trans. The transphobia on mumsnet is unreal.

tattooedmummy1 · 27/10/2020 22:22

My sister is like this, she won't refer to her daughter as a girl in any way. My neice is just over a year old now, my sister refers to her as "it, bab, the baby, they". Never ever as she, her, daughter. I think it's awful. The baby is a girl, that's a biological fact. Calling her it, they, or the baby, is IMHO damaging

Readandwalk · 27/10/2020 22:23

No douth things like period blood or lack thereof will give a clue

KylieSmilie · 27/10/2020 22:26

I hope she has a girl and she likes glitter shoes and prams and ribbons. Or a boy who likes mud and trucks and poo jokes. She will be gutted.

dimdarkashian · 27/10/2020 22:33

I thought this thread would be about an intersex baby

Livelovebehappy · 27/10/2020 22:34

🙄 x 100.

Rainbowsparklesdust1921 · 27/10/2020 22:41

@Nancy75 Hands down the best comment ever, made me giggle so much 😂😂😂

StatementKnickers · 27/10/2020 22:42

Poor thing, she's only famous for posing naked and now that she's pregnant nobody wants to see her fanny any more so she's desperately trying to stay relevant. Sad really.

Ironically, her child will be better off genderless given that its mother's idea of womanhood is being an airhead sex object playboy bunny. Not a great example to set!

blueangel19 · 27/10/2020 22:43

I think this will not end up well. These people are freaks and honestly I think laws will be passed to control these nutters.

Nessashanessa · 27/10/2020 22:49

It's a shame that she doesn't know the difference between Sex and gender

ListeningQuietly · 27/10/2020 22:52

Baby boys are capable of pissing in your face when you are changing their nappy

Baby girls are not

Geometry not identity

Tistheseason17 · 27/10/2020 23:01

My daughters are my daughters. I've never gender stereotyped them. One of them loves her best girlfriend and they both want to marry and have babies together. The other one prefers computer games and fisticuffs and is far more masculine in her traits as am I. However, I don't spend time trying to give them a label. They are just themselves. I've talked about genders and how everyone is different and free to be how they want to. I've talked about trans.
They currently feel they are girls but if they come to me and say they they are LGBT or anything else on any spectrum I really could not care less. I'm their mum and will support them. They will have the same values and behaviours and these are the important things that define a person.
Things change, we all need to evolve. I am no less of a woman based on how others define themselves.

fakenina · 27/10/2020 23:02

Gender is our outward (socially procribed) expression of our sexed personality.
Sex is our biological state, ie either male or female (geared towards small gamets or geared towards bit gamets).

fakenina · 27/10/2020 23:03

Gender can pritty much be whatever you want it to be.
Sex is determined by your genitics and can not be changed.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 27/10/2020 23:06

@tattooedmummy1

My sister is like this, she won't refer to her daughter as a girl in any way. My neice is just over a year old now, my sister refers to her as "it, bab, the baby, they". Never ever as she, her, daughter. I think it's awful. The baby is a girl, that's a biological fact. Calling her it, they, or the baby, is IMHO damaging
What does your sister plan to do when her DD goes to school? Will she withdraw her from all human biology lessons so she doesn't find out what sex she is?
Ellie56 · 27/10/2020 23:14

Yeah right. Hmm

@nancy75 just about summed it up.

FlibbertyGiblets · 27/10/2020 23:18

@fairynick

I’d like to suggest a reverse and ask people on this thread what they would say or think if their son turned around age 8, 10, or 13 and said “mum I’m a girl, I’m a trans girl”. I’m pretty sure many of you would say “you don’t know until you’re older, you’re too young enough to know”. So you can know your gender as a child when you’re cis, but not when you’re trans. The transphobia on mumsnet is unreal.
Ohai there. Just picking up on your comment. Please don't use the word 'cis', it is not acceptable on Mumsnet, thank you.

Further, you have conflated sex and gender in your comment. So yes, we can know our child's sex from birth - and before, if certain tests are performed in utero. It isn't transphobic to say this. XX

ClaireP20 · 27/10/2020 23:20

@fairynick

I’d like to suggest a reverse and ask people on this thread what they would say or think if their son turned around age 8, 10, or 13 and said “mum I’m a girl, I’m a trans girl”. I’m pretty sure many of you would say “you don’t know until you’re older, you’re too young enough to know”. So you can know your gender as a child when you’re cis, but not when you’re trans. The transphobia on mumsnet is unreal.
I'd say 'that's nice, but please don't turn into the sort of person who uses the term cis, thinks the words 'mother' and 'woman' are dirty, or accuses everyone of being a trans-phobe if they say something you disagree with'.
OrtamLeevz · 27/10/2020 23:22

Oh how I wish for a 'bangs head against brick wall' emoji.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 27/10/2020 23:24

I think what she is actually saying is that she jokingly tells people they won't know the child's gender till it's 18, but - even though it's a joke - there is a grain of truth to it, because no parent really knows who a child is going to be - in a general sense, not just as regards gender identity.

It's pretentious but I don't think it's as stupid as people are making out.

TableFlowerss · 27/10/2020 23:31

Totally agree with the majority on here.

If parents want to do that with their child, no problem at all. Absolutely fair enough.

There’s no denying that gender and what you identify with is separate context to the sex you are.

Most people embrace others desire to identify with whatever/whoever they want. Most people are tolerant and feel like people should be able to live in peace as and harmony as they wish, gender or otherwise.

Where they lose my interest is when people try and say there shouldn’t be a distinction between biological sex of a male and a female.

doublehalo · 27/10/2020 23:34

It is very worrying that so many people are so thick.

This!

giggly · 27/10/2020 23:36

What the actual fuck is wrong with some peopleHmm do they need to get a job in the real world and like mix with us normal womenGrin

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